One More Day
by Criminalmindschick221
Summary: JJ had always hated children-related cases, but this one was hitting her hard. When she can't find anyone to turn to for comfort, she falls into a trap and becomes a part of this unsubs sick game.
1. Chapter 1

"**When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.****"**

Dale Carnegie

* * *

Jennifer Jureau was known to be a busy woman. Throughout a business week, she was known to stay late and look through the gruesome cases that her team was supposed to be taking on. That line of work could get to anyone in time, the bodies of women, men…children. They all needed help, but she had to decide whether someone got to live or to die in some cases. The lives of people on her shoulders could sometimes feel like a lot of pressure, but she dealt with it. After all, she had grown up in a small Pennsylvania playing soccer where everyone was watching her…expecting her to win. She was perfect for his job; she never buckled or panicked under pressure. It was just now starting to bear down on her. All those times that she had rejected a case, had more people died? Had parents died leaving their children behind? She was reminded of her son and couldn't help feeling guilty. As those thoughts once again grazed her mind she decided that it was time for her to go home, it was already 11:30. Why had she stayed so late? It always seemed like whenever she got to work she was in an endless trance, too focused to remember the other things; her son and boyfriend. As she shut the folder of another case that she was forced to reject she picked up her purse, looking over the BAU offices. All the lights were off…every single one except for hers and one across the catwalk. Aaron Hotchner was also a very driven man, he never knew when to some. He had always been a workaholic, but JJ had a theory that ever since his ex-wife's death he had thrown himself even further into his work load. Sometimes she just wished he would let himself off the hook and go home early to his son. She switched the light off in her office and checked her phone quickly; there was a message from her boyfriend.

_Another late night? Don't worry I'll be sure to make breakfast for you in the morning and a cup coffee just how you like it. ;) –Will._

At first JJ was confused, but then she remember that today was a Friday. Finally, the weekend was here and she could sleep and spend time with her family. She was slightly surprised at how excited she was to not be coming to work. Sure, she loved the people she worked with, but sometimes a girl just needs a break. The blonde agent walked across the catwalk and poked her head into Hotch's office.

"It's almost midnight, Hotch." JJ informed him, hoping that he would understand where she was going with this.

Hotch looked up from his desk and she noticed the dark circles surrounding his eyes. "I'm almost done with this case report." He told her, nodding down to the packet that was lying on his desk.

JJ rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. She walked into his office and stood across from his desk. "Aaron." She gave him a knowing stare, raising one of her eyebrows. He stared back at her and then gave in with a slight nod.

"Why can't I ever say no to you?" He asked, grabbing his bag and standing up. He walked towards the door, gesturing for JJ to exit first.

"Oh don't worry. No one can." JJ smiled to herself, shooting a playful smirk back at her unit chief and the corners of his mouth twitched with what she thought to be an almost smile. Hotch had plenty of those, but he rarely ever fully smiled.

Hotch met JJ's blue eyes with his dark brown ones before they split to go to their cars. "Have a good weekend, JJ. You worked hard this week, you deserve it." He gave her a polite nod before walking down the sidewalk towards his car. JJ smiled at him, grateful for his recognition and then walked in the opposite direction towards her own car. It was a black Jeep Grand Cherokee and a lot of people thought it was too big of a car for her, but to JJ it was go big or go home. She started it, glad to hear the rev of the engine to break the silence of the night. The headlights automatically came on and she pulled out of her parking spot. It took her 15 minutes to get back to her house and she wasn't surprised to find that all the lights were off. Her boyfriend and son were probably in bed already and she didn't blame them, the clock in her car read 12:15. She got out of her car and glanced around the darkness of the shadows. She remembered cases where women were taken right in front of their houses when their husbands were just a few feet away on the other side of the door. JJ gulped nervously and quickly put her car keys in her purse while glancing around. That was when she remembered she still had her FBI belt on; even the security of having a gun strapped to her hip didn't comfort her as she walked the short walk to the front porch. There she fiddled with the key for a few seconds, but eventually got it in the lock making sure to open it as quietly as she possibly could. The living room was dark, but to her surprise she saw Will sitting on the couch watching a football game. He looked over the back of the couch when she walked in.

"You're home." He grinned at her and stood up. "We are gonna have one hell of a day tomorrow, hun. Henry and I planned the whole thing just for you because we both think you're workin' too hard." He hugged her tightly.

"You boys are always trying to soften me up." JJ joked, wrapping her arms around him. "Can I have a hint?" She asked, referring to his mention of the day that they'd had planned for Saturday. If Henry had helped she was sure it would have something to do with the park or ice cream, but it didn't matter to her as long as they were together.

"Nope. It's a surprise, Cher. You're gonna have to wait and see." Will paused and brushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear so that her view of him wasn't obstructed anymore. "How was work today?" He asked.

"A whole lot of paperwork and no cases for us to take on. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing." She shrugged, entwining her fingers with his as she put her work stuff down on the table and they walked up to the bedroom together.

"You're here with us for a _whole weekend_. It's definitely a good thing." Will kissed her forehead as they entered the bedroom. JJ didn't even wait to take her clothes off, she immediately collapsed on the bed, but Will wasn't going to have it. "Oh come on, you have to change." He chuckled.

"No…" JJ buried her face in the soft pillow only to feel Will lifted her out of the bed. He smiled and undressed her quickly before redressing her in some sweatpants and a tank top. He carried her into the bathroom and then nodded towards the toothbrush. Lifting a tired hand, JJ picked it up and brushed her teeth quickly.

Will nodded when she finished and smiled. "_Now _we can go to bed, sleeping beauty." He teased, walking with her back towards the bed where she instantly laid down again. She felt Will wrap his arms around her and pull her close to him. They both fell asleep in that position, wrapped in each other's arms…well until JJ's phone rang. They both heard it, but JJ was the first to react. Her work phone was ringing; whenever that rang she had to answer it because, most likely, it was someone important. She remembered that it was somewhere in her purse and slid off the bed and onto the floor where her purse was, digging for it. When her fingers wrapped around it she answered it right away without even checking the caller ID.

"Hello?" JJ asked, glancing over at the bed to see that Will was sitting up. She read the time off of the clock on her nightstand and tried not to groan. It was 4:00 in the morning.

"Hello Agent Jureau, it's Strauss." The woman on the other end said and JJ instantaneously straightened up and listened carefully. "It seems that an urgent case has come up and you need to get the team in right away because we're on a time limit."

"But ma'am, it's the weekend…" JJ tried to protest as politely as she knew how.

"Do you think serial killers stop killing on the weekends Agent?" Strauss asked, sarcastically. There was an edge on her tone and JJ assumed it was probably because of how early it was in the morning.

"No ma'am. I'll get the team together right away. Umm…where are we going?" JJ asked and heard Will groan from the bed behind her. She held up a finger to shush him and he became silent.

"San Francisco. A serial killer is murdering young children every three days and the police there are getting desperate. Homeland security has already tried to work things out and set a curfew, but bodies are still turning up. They need profilers and insight so I told them that the BAU would be there as soon as they could, which is soon, right Agent Jureau?" Strauss was expecting the answer yes.

JJ provided it, "Yes ma'am. I'll get them together as quick as I can. Thanks, goodbye." She rolled her eyes and hung up. "We have a case." She told Will, rubbing her eyes. All she wanted to do was go back to bed, but now she had to call all of her team members and wake them up in the middle of the night. Fun.

Will looked at her, "Why did they call this early?" He asked.

"It's urgent. There's a guy…well…he's killing kids every three days and we need to get to San Francisco as quickly as possible because they're running out of options." JJ sighed, "I wish I could say I didn't want to go, but they really need us now…kids are dying."

"I know, JJ. I understand. We'll be here when you get back and I'll tell Henry when he wakes up. Just…call me when you get there." Will told her, swinging his feet over the side of the bed. He walked into the closet and pulled out her "go" bag, handing it to her. She quickly got dressed, putting a black pencil skirt with a white flanel shirt tucked into it. After brushing her hair and her teeth she decided it was time to call her team...at 4:30 in the morning...on a Friday.

* * *

**"Safety and security don't just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear."**

Nelson Mandela


	2. Chapter 2

**"For sleep, one needs endless depths of blackness to sink into; daylight is too shallow, it will not cover one."**

Anne Morrow Lindbergh

* * *

The first person that JJ decided to call was Hotch because she knew that since he was the unit chief, he would want to know what was going on first. She held down one of the speed dial buttons on her phone and Hotch's number came up on the screen. As it started ringing, JJ started thinking about what this case was about…children getting killed? How much of a psychopath do you have to be to think its okay to do that? JJ poked her head down the hall and saw Henry's room at the end of the hall. The thought of _anyone_ putting a hand on him made her toes curl.

"Hello?" Hotch asked into the phone, almost surprising JJ. From the exhaustion in his voice she knew that he had most likely just woken up.

"Hey, Hotch…its JJ. Strauss called me we have a case and apparently they really need profilers to get there tonight before the unsub kills again." She let out a sigh to let him know that she wasn't happy about this either.

"What's it about?" He sounded more awake now at the mention of a case.

"The unsub is killing children every three days and according to Strauss, Homeland Security tried to sort everything out, but they can't get a jump on the unsub like profilers could. They need us in San Francisco as soon as possible." JJ informed him, glancing at her watch. She needed to end this conversation too so that she could call everyone else soon.

"Oh alright. I'll see you at the station." There was a pause and JJ was about to hang up when she heard Hotch talk again, "Oh and JJ?" He started.

"Yea?"

"Watch out for Emily. She's cranky in the morning." There was a hint of amusement in his voice and JJ let out another of what seemed like frequent sighs.

"Okay, thanks Hotch." JJ hung up the phone and decided to get the worse over with first. She dialed Emily's number and waited patiently for the brunet woman to answer her phone. Anxiously, JJ started pacing as the phone just kept ringing and ringing, but no answer yet. After a long wait JJ finally heard a voice on the other side of the phone.

"JJ what the hell do you think you're doing calling me at 5:00 on a Friday? Whatever it is, I don't care…I'm going back to bed." Emily sounded groggy and there was an intended edge in her voice, but it didn't intimidate JJ.

"Wait!" She said before Emily could hang up on her, "We have to go down to the station because we have a case."

"Are you serious? You can't be serious? It's FRIDAY! They can't give us a case over the weekend! Who does the bureau think they are? JJ I'm not coming in and I swear if you try to call me or convince me don't even bother because-" Emily started ranting, but was cut off.

"Emily." JJ said firmly, making the older profiler pause. "The unsub is killing children every _three days._" She told her, playing the sympathy card to get her friend to calm down. Every woman had a soft spot for children, even Emily so when JJ brought it up the other woman was silent for a few moments.

The only thing she uttered after the long silence was, "Oh."

"Yea, so will you come in?" JJ asked, hopefully. If they wanted to finish this case, help the children and get back home they needed all the profilers out there helping out. Emily's presence was needed among them for a different perspective, which was the point of having a whole team in the first place…for all of them to be there.

"Y-yea…of course." Emily answered, obviously now trying to wake herself up. She started to say something else, but JJ knew that she had a time limit to get everyone up and to the office so she stopped Emily before she could start her sentence.

"I'm sorry Em, but I really have to call the rest of the team. I'll talk to you at the station, okay?" JJ didn't even wait for her to answer either. She just pressed the end button and dialed David Rossi's number. For some reason she felt nervous to talk to him in the morning because his normal "during the day" attitude could be kind of touchy sometimes…imagine it at 5:00 in the morning.

"Agent Rossi." Rossi answered, but the weird thing was that he didn't sound tired at all. If anything he sounded awake and ready to go for the day, it made JJ kind of suspicious so she decided to call him out on it.

"Hey, it's JJ….uh…where are you?" She could also hear the faint static noise that comes from a phone when wind is blowing near it. He had to be somewhere outside for some reason, but why at 5:00 in the morning?

There was slight pause, "Sometimes over the weekend I drive down to Chesapeake Bay to watch the sunset…" He told her modestly, "The real question is why _you're_ up and calling me at this hour. You deserve this sleep, JJ. Take it."

"I wish I could, but Strauss just told me that we have a case. You're gonna have to drive back to Quantico because we need to be in San Francisco by tomorrow." JJ took a moment, "Sorry…" She muttered to him, feeling a little bit guiltier that she was disrupting his peaceful time to watch the sunset on the water.

"No JJ, it's alright. You're just doing your job." That was the last thing Rossi told her before they both hung up and she was grateful for the way that he handled the call because she was getting annoyed with the flustered answering that she had gone through with the other two answers. He was just collected and composed; it was easy to talk to him, but now she had to call Morgan…great.

The line rang a few times before she heard him pick up, but instead answering with hello he immediately assumed what was going on. "Please don't say it's true…it's the weekend! There's no way that they can make us come in. You can't possibly be okay with this!" He exclaimed, crankily.

"It's actually urgent Morgan and Homeland Security couldn't get it under control. We have to be in San Francisco by tomorrow." JJ sighed, getting tired of telling the same story over and over again to her colleagues. She didn't understand why Strauss didn't just call them herself.

"This is totally unfair JJ! How can you let this happen? I thought you were gonna spend the weekend with Will and Henry. Are you really okay with this? It isn't right!" Morgan vented on the other and she became irritated with him easily this early in the morning.

"Morgan, kids are being murdered…every three days. Little kids from what I understand so do you really want to argue with me about what's right, or do you want to get out there and help find the unsub that is doing this?" JJ said firmly into the line and he was silent for a few second, she had won this battle.

"Okay I'll be at the station as soon as I can." Morgan stayed on the line for a few more seconds, "Sorry JJ I didn't mean to be rude." He sounded remorseful.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize. I know we're all just tired so don't worry about it, okay?" JJ told him, not wanting this to be an obstacle during the case.

"Sure, see ya." Morgan hung up and JJ was thankful that she only had two more people to call, Spencer and Garcia. She thought that they would be the easiest ones so she had saved them for last. First she called Spencer and he answered on the second ring.

"JJ?" His voice was hoarse like he woken up only seconds before. "What time is it?" He muttered.

"5:30. Look Spence, we have a case so everyone has to get down to the station. It's in San Francisco and we need to there by tomorrow." JJ told him quickly, knowing that she was running low on time and needed to call Garcia.

"Okay." That was the only word that the genius voiced in a melancholy tone. It made JJ sort of curious as to what was running through his mind because usually he would have asked what it was about or where they were going, but now he just went with it. She had to ask what was going on.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked him in a soft, concerned voice.

"Oh yea…it's just that if you're calling me at 5:30 in the morning…this case must be bad. I guess it's not going to be a good weekend. I'll see you at the station, JJ." Reid's voice was still dull as he hung up, but JJ convinced herself that he was going to be okay before dialing Garcia's number on her phone.

It rang a few times before she answered and JJ was about to start talking when Garcia interrupted her.

"I already know. Hotch called me." Garcia told her quickly and JJ smiled, glad that Hotch had been productive and helped her in calling one of the team members. She wondered if he had called any of the others after she had called first. That couldn't have gone well.

"Oh good, so he briefed you on everything. It sounded terrible by the way that Strauss explained it, but you never know with her…sometimes she over exaggerates." JJ glanced at the screen on her phone only to see that Garcia had already hung up and that JJ wasn't even talking to anyone. "Great." She muttered, picked up her bag and walked down the stairs. As she walked towards the door she heard footsteps behind her. Small footsteps.

"Mommy?" A tired voice sounded behind her and she turned around to see her son standing at the bottom of the stairs, fully dressed in his pajamas.

"Henry? What are you doing out of bed?" JJ shook her head, smiling. "You are one bad boy." She told him jokingly as she lifted him off the ground and started back up the stairs.

"Where you going?" Henry asked, curiously. "Me and daddy were gonna…we were gonna take you to the park and get ice cream! You can't leave!" He pleaded with her and she felt her heart slowly break, piece by piece.

"I'm sorry, baby." JJ kissed his forehead. "Some other little boys just like you are getting hurt by bad guys so I have to go help them right now…" She told him as she brushed some of his hair out of his eyes.

"Why can't they just get their own mommies to help them? You're mine!" Henry looked up at her, tears surfacing in his eyes.

"Their mommies don't know what to do so I have to go help. I'm sorry, I promise I'll call you ever night. Make sure you brush your teeth and clean your room, okay? Make me proud while I'm gone, buddy." JJ laid Henry back down in his bed, gently.

"I will. Catch the bad guys, mommy." Henry gave her a small smile before he closed his eyes.

JJ touched his cheek gently with the back of her hand. "I will." She kissed his forehead again and then walked down the stairs. She saw Will standing by the door, holding her bag.

"You're up too? I thought I told you to go back to bed!" JJ exclaimed, rolling her eyes. "William LaMontagne, you are crazy." She joked as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Not as crazy as my woman." Will kissed her gently on the lips. "I love you, JJ. Please be safe, okay?"

"I always am. Don't worry, I carry a gun." JJ chuckled and hugged him tightly. "I'll miss you guys and I'll call when we land. I'm really sorry about this Will."

"It's fine; just get the job done JJ. If anyone can do it, you guys can." Will kissed her one more time before carrying her bag out to her car and sending her on her way. She waved to him as she pulled out, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away and rolled down the road. Sometimes it was hard for her, but she never took them out of her mind and she made sure to lead by their example of innocence and spontaneous actions. They brought out the best in her and she could catch this unsub…for her family.

* * *

**"The family. We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together."**

Erma Bombeck


	3. Chapter 3

**"The moment when you first wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the twenty-four hours. No matter how weary or dreary you may feel, you possess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn't, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there."**

Monica Baldwin

* * *

As JJ pulled into the parking lot of the BAU, she was glad to see all of the familiar cars that she recognized to be her friends'. Now Straus wouldn't have anything to complain about, she had gotten them all there in a substantial amount of time. She looked at the digital clock above the radio in her car and it was only 6:00. They were making good time and if they worked hard they could be in San Francisco by dinnertime. JJ picked up her purse and her "go" bag before walking in the front doors of the BAU. The first people she saw were Emily and Morgan sitting at their desks like they normally did in the morning, except neither of them looked fully put together. Emily's hair was a mess and her shirt wasn't tucked into her pants, while Morgan was wearing a white-shirt with grey pants and had a five o'clock shadow on his chin. JJ walked up to them, hoping that she looked at least a little more composed than they did. She was the one going in front of the media after all. They both looked up as she approached and she noticed the bags underneath both of their eyes, feeling guilty for waking them up.

"Wow…you guys are looking rough." JJ smirked and looked at Morgan, raising an eyebrow. "Now Emily…I've seen her worse, but you Derek…I thought you were better than this." She joked lightly, trying to wake them up somehow.

"I could have dressed up, but in case you forgot…you called me at 4:00 in the morning!" Morgan exclaimed, smiling. He was obviously joking so JJ didn't take offense even though she had a feeling that he actually was serious deep down.

Before JJ could respond with a sarcastic comeback, Emily cut into the conversation. "Woah…woah. Wait, what do you mean you've seen me worse?" She looked up at JJ with both of her eyebrows raised.

"A little late there Em." JJ teased, rolling her eyes. "Look guys I would stay and insult you all day, but I have to go talk to Hotch and Strauss." She let out a sigh, "Wish me luck." Picking up her bags she started walking up the catwalk towards Hotch's office where she saw Strauss inside.

"Good luck!" Emily called after her and JJ waved a thank you over her shoulder. Next she set down her bags in her office and then walked up to Hotch's door, knocking on it lightly with her knuckles.

"Come in." She heard Strauss' voice sound from the other side of the door and JJ turned the knob and pushed it open slowly. Strauss was sitting in one of the chairs across from Hotch, who was sitting in his desk. As she walked in, Hotch nodded towards the second chair that was in front of him as a gesture for her to sit down.

"We were just talking about the case. It seems that this unsub first started off with young boys in his first month of killing and then progressed onto girls during his second month." Hotch informed her and then examined her reaction skeptically for her opinion.

"That's a big change for an MO. It's risky, but it's also a step forward. He's getting more confident." JJ voiced her opinion and saw Hotch nod. "How old are all of the kids that he is killing?" She asked, it might help her figure out more about this unsub with that information.

"The boys were all between the ages of 4 and 7, but the girls were between the ages of 2 and 5." Strauss told her, looking down at the case file in her hands. "What do you think the age means?" She asked JJ and Hotch.

"Maybe he's using them as surrogates…but what children would he want to kill in the first place?" JJ bit her lip, thoughtfully.

"He might be using them to fulfill a fantasy. He could have lost his own children and now, he's looking for replacements, but when the kids refuse or don't fit into his plan he kills them." Hotch suggested and JJ cringed slightly. How could he expect small kids to play along with a fantasy that he created?

"We should probably get the rest of the team together for briefing." JJ saw Strauss glance at the watch on her wrist and then stood up, giving JJ a nod of approval. The trio walked out of the room and JJ walked down the catwalk again and up to her friends, "We're briefing for the case now." She said and they all stood up, following her to the conference room.

Hotch looked around the table and as Garcia walked into the room, he started introducing the victims. "Our first victim is Bobby Jackson, a 6 year old boy. He was reported missing on December 31st and his body was found dumped in the ditch of a park on January 2nd. He had laceration marks on his neck so he ME concluded that he died from strangling." Pictures of a young boy with blonde hair appeared on the screen. JJ eyes were trained on the table because she couldn't bear to look at the remains of a boy who had gotten his life taken away way too early.

"Hogan Green was 4 years old and was reported missing on January 5th. His body was found on January 6th dumped into a ditch, not in the same park. This time the ditch was on the side of one of the back roads in San Francisco." Pictures of an adorable blonde boy appeared on the screen. "He died of strangulation as well, but it also seems that he was beaten before the actual strangling occurred."

"He's obviously trying to fulfill a fantasy because he has a schedule and when Hogan didn't fit the fantasy his schedule was completely messed up. Hogan also had more beatings which makes is likely to believe that the unsub was angered when he didn't fit, however Bobby was older and fit the fantasy longer." Reid spoke, sounding like he was just thinking out loud to everyone.

"And he dumps the bodies in common places like he doesn't care. That could also support the theory of him trying to fulfill his fantasy." Rossi added, nodding.

Hotch started on the next victim. The third and fourth victims were both blonde boys as well. One had been 5, the other was 7. The 5 year old had lasted for 4 days while the 7 year old had lasted for two. They had both died from strangulation and were dumped in insignificant places. The fifth victim, taken three days after the fourth, was the first girl. "This first female victim was Rebecca Henson, a 4 year old, and she was taken January 15th. Two days later she was found on the edge of the woods near the park. She died of being strangled, but didn't sustain any beatings." Hotch explained, showing the pictures of the small blonde girl alive, and then dead.

"It's strange for an unsub to just change genders like that, but it is likely that he is looking for both a boy and a girl to fit his fantasy, maybe even two boys or two girls, depending on his preference. I think it's safe to say that based on victimology we can assume he's looking for blonde children." Reid said, his eyebrows creased in deep thought.

"And he's also progressing as well. When he moved onto to girls he also evolved as a killer, it won't be soon before…" Morgan trailed off, glancing at Emily, who finished the sentence for him.

"He takes two kids at once." Emily ended for him and JJ winced silently to herself. This unsub was putting these kids through complete terror and now he was going to evolve and start causing more and more kids the same terror. They need to stop this before it got out of hand. Kids were the cornerstone of society and they needed to help this city before it was too late.

After the first girl there were two others and the last murder had happened two days ago. Today was the third day so if the unsub was going by his same pattern he would abduct a child by the end of the day. On that cue Hotch turned off the screen, "Wheels up in 15." Everyone walked out of the conference room, leaving JJ and Hotch alone. She was staring down at the table, making sure to keep her expression blank. Hotch was cleaning up all of the presentation stuff when he noticed that she didn't leave. "JJ, are you alright?" He asked her.

JJ was snapped out of her trance. "Oh yea…yea I'm fine." She looked up at him, but instantly knew it was a mistake. Hotch read the emotion in her eyes like a book and sat down in the chair next to her.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you or do you want me to just figure it out myself?" Hotch asked, giving her a hard stare. She gave into him quickly, feeling uncomfortable under his dark gaze.

"This case…it's just terrible. All these kids dying and they all…have blonde hair. It's just too similar. Every kid I see looks just like him." JJ gulped at thought of her precious little boy dying at the hands of some unsub in San Francisco.

"I know what you're feeling, JJ. And trust me I've been doing this for a long time and whenever kids get hurt I always think about Jack, but you can't get yourself personally involved. We need a detached, straightforward JJ to give us her thoughts and views without being biased, okay?" Hotch told her from experience.

"But how? This guys is taking the innocence away from these kids, he's taking away their childhood. It's not fair and I don't know how I'm supposed to push all of those thoughts aside." JJ glanced at the ground for a few seconds and then looked at him for his input.

"Just know that this isn't Henry. Henry's going to be back here with Will, so if you just keep telling yourself that you should feel better. We also need to remember that if we start getting too involved in this we won't be able to find the unsub so that should be motivation enough for you to not get too personal. It's okay for you to be sympathetic and caring like you always are, just not too much. You'll be fine; JJ and so will all of the kids if we play this right." Hotch put a comforting hand on her shoulder before walking out.

"Okay." She muttered, walking out of the conference room and getting her bag from her office. She walked over to all her friends and everyone boarded the plane together. She was sitting across from Rossi and Reid and next to Emily. There was a slight drizzle outside so the take off was bumpy until they got above the clouds. She saw Rossi sitting stiffly in his chair and smiled, remembering that he wasn't exactly the best flier. Sure, she didn't turbulence either, but he was gripping his arm rest so tight that his knuckles were white. She stood up and walked over to the coffee machine, only to spill it on the counter because the plane hit a bump in the air. Once she finished carefully pouring it, she opened the door to the cabin where the pilots were with a cup of coffee in her hand. "Everything okay, boys?" She asked, giving them a smile.

They both turned around for a brief second with smiles on each of their faces. "Yes Agent Jureau. We've just hitting some air currents. It should be a few more minutes until it stops." The co pilot explained, "In about an hour we're going to be traveling over a thunderstorm though. That may be a rough ride."

JJ nodded and smiled at them. "Oh okay, thanks." She patted the back of their chairs before walking out of the cabin and back to her seat. She didn't set her coffee back down on the table because she knew it would just spill.

Rossi looked up as she settled back into her chair. "What did they say?" He asked about the pilots.

"They said this turbulence was only going to last for another few minutes." JJ wasn't sure whether to tell him about the thunderstorm coming up or not. After he gave her a nod she decided not to lie to him. "They also said that in about an hour we'll be going over a thunderstorm and it might be little bumpy then."

"Really?" Rossi rolled his eyes and leaned back in chairs. She could tell that he was trying to go to sleep in the hopes that he wouldn't be awake during it.

JJ smirked and then glanced at Reid, who was reading a book silently next to Rossi. When she looked at Emily she was surprised to see that the other woman was already looking at her.

"How're you holding up?" Emily asked, "I know that these cases are kind of hard…"

JJ glanced at Hotch and then replied, "I'm fine for now. I'm just trying to keep myself from getting too caught up in everything." She shrugged and sighed. "I just want to get this unsub so we can come back home. Henry and Will planned a special weekend for me and I just wish I could be there for once."

Emily gave her an understanding look, "I know. We'll all be working extra hard anyway because one, its kids getting killed and two, we're on a time limit. You might be able to get home before the weekend ends…maybe." She tried to comfort her.

JJ really wasn't convinced, but she just nodded anyway and remembered Hotch's advice. Henry was at home with Will right now. There was no possible way for the unsub to get to him. He was safe, Will was safe, she was safe and it was going to stay that way.

Or at least that's what she thought.

* * *

**"There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know. There are known unknowns. That is to say, there are things that we know we don't know. But there are also unknown unknowns. There are things we don't know we don't know."**  
Donald Rumsfeld


	4. Chapter 4

**"All of us have moments in our childhood where we come alive for the first time. And we go back to those moments and think, this is when I became myself."**

Rita Dove

* * *

The whole team was relieved when the plane touched down in San Francisco. It had been a lot more bumpy than any of them had expected it to be when they went over the thunderstorm. Even Hotch, who was normally a collected, calm man, was clutching his arm rest with his right hand. They hadn't even talked much about the case because of the turbulence that had interrupted them. Rossi, to no one's surprise, was the first person off the plane. JJ picked up her bag and walked off with the rest of her team, getting into SUVs that were waiting for them at the private airport already. JJ rode with Hotch and Morgan while Rossi, Reid and Emily were in the car. It was a short ride to the police station, but unlike the rough plane ride, it gave JJ the time she needed to organize her thoughts. This case was going to be hard for her, even she knew that, but there was no way she was going to let it get in the way of helping these kids. She rubbed her hands together in her lap and looked up as they approached the station. It looked bigger and nicer then a lot of the stations they had been to before and there was a crowd of press swarming in front of the doors. It was like they were just waiting for her to arrive…great. As they parked, the press recognized the FBI plates on the vehicles and started swarming around them.

"Morgan, you and JJ take care of the press." Hotch ordered as he opened the door. There were people everywhere shouting questions at them from all different angles. She saw Hotch, Rossi, Reid and Emily walk into the station, leaving Morgan and JJ alone with the press. Camera flashed around them and many microphones were being pointed in their direction.

"Are you from the FBI?"

"Do you have any leads?"

"Is it true that he's only taking blonde children?"

"What happened to Homeland Security?"

"Is there another body?"

"Excuse me!" JJ yelled loudly over the voices that were frantically shouting all around her. They all quieted down for a moment, only leaving the sound of clicking cameras left. "We are from the FBI Behavioral Analysis Unit and we_ have_ been asked to come here to help the SFPD with these murders. We would appreciate if you would all save your questions until we have time to set up a press conference. Until that happens we would like to ask you to stay away from the doors of the station and don't bother us because we're trying to help these kids." She glanced over at Morgan who stood beside her, but didn't say anything he only nodded along with her words for effect. She half-expected them to all secede away from the doors to let them through, but most of them stood firmly in their positions. JJ tried not be surprised with their persistence after all she had been in their place before, when she was a field reporter.

Beside her, Morgan stepped forward into the crowd of press. "If you don't leave now we will have to call security and have you removed from the scene." He spoke firmly, but only JJ knew that he completely bluffing. Most of the press started backing away from him, obviously intimidated and retreated to their vans.

JJ gave Morgan a playful smirk, "Not bad for a rookie." She patted him on the shoulder and walked towards the front doors of the station.

Morgan jogged after her until he was walking beside her. "What do you mean, rookie?" He smiled widely with perfect white teeth. "I've been at this job a lot longer then you have, Pennsylvania." He looked her up and down from her head to her feet.

JJ rolled her eyes. "But _you_ didn't spend half that time in front of the media." She sighed, remembering the time she'd spend only being the team's liaison.

Morgan looked like he was remembering it too, but the next thing he said caught her off guard. "You know, I really admired the way that you could do all that stuff with the media…" He paused, "And that one time you did that speech over the radio to the Prince of Darkness. It was amazing JJ and I don't think everyone gives you enough credit."

JJ gave him a modest smile, "Thanks Derek. You guys were great too."

"And now you're pretty badass if I do say so myself." Morgan chuckled and pushed the doors of the police station open. What they saw inside was complete chaos. There were officers walking swiftly in all directions, people yelling into phone lines and what JJ could only assume to be victim's parents crying while they waited to get questioned. She looked around for the rest of the team, but they were nowhere to be found.

"Ummm excuse me, who are you?" A man walked up to them and JJ was about to answer, but he didn't give her the chance. "If you're here to report a crime we're directing minor crimes to the Brisbane Police Department." He gave them a curt nod before trudging away in a different direction.

JJ put her hands on her hips, completely dumfounded. She turned to Morgan, "Do people think I dress like this for fun?" She gestured to her clothes, "And you'd think sooner or later people would notice the badge too…gosh…"

Morgan chuckled at her reaction. "Come on." He started to weave through the crowds of people and JJ followed closely behind him, not sure where they were going. She didn't think he had any idea either.

The man who walked up to them before once again graced them with his presence. "I thought I told you…" His eyes met the badge that was clipped to Morgan's chest. "Oh, you're with the FBI…" His tone changed and his body language was a little more nervous now. He held out a hand to Morgan. "I'm Officer Harris, chief of police here. I'm sorry about earlier it's been pretty crazy around here since the murders started." He shook JJ's hand after Morgan's.

"I'm Agent Morgan and this is Agent Jureau. Where's the rest of our team?" Morgan asked, wasting no time to chat with the officer.

Officer Harris turned around, gesturing with his hand for them to follow. He led them through the crowd of people and over to a room with a shut door. He pushed it open to show the rest of their team sitting down around a table. "There you go." He smiled at them for a moment, before rushing off again.

JJ and Morgan walked into the room and sat down, greeting their friends nonchalantly.

"How's the media?" Hotch asked.

"They're getting desperate, we're gonna need to set up a press conference soon or things might get out of hand." JJ reported to him.

"Okay well I'll get Officer Harris to set one up for later, but now I want you, Morgan and Emily to question the parents. We need to find out where they were abducted and maybe if the unsub stalked them…anything that's off about them could help." Hotch nodded to them, "Rossi, Reid and I are going to check the dump sites so if you find anything call my cell." Everyone stood up at once and walked out of the room.

JJ was walking between Emily and Morgan as they started to approach the parents. They were all in chairs lined up against the wall, waiting. Most of them had tear stains on their cheeks, but the others were stone faced and blank. JJ knew that the one unaffected would be the hardest to ask questions to.

Emily kept her gaze forward. "How are we going to do this?" She asked as they entered one of the rooms that would be used for questioning. "Are we just going to call them in one by one?"

"I think that would be best." Morgan answered, looking out the window of the room they were in at some of the parents. He let out a gloomy sigh with his head hung slightly.

JJ bit her lip, trying to become more detached. She read Morgan's body language and realized that he was feeling the same thing she was; sympathy and compassion for these parents, but somehow he was going to overcome it, she knew he would. She just wasn't sure how she was going to. Her job was to be disconnected and that's what she would do. No getting too involved, no making hollow promises, and no getting attached to these parents. She would do her job and that was it.

The three of them exited the room, walking up to the first three parents in line. Morgan took the man while Emily and JJ took the two women.

"Hello." JJ gave the woman a comforting smile. "I'm Agent Jureau and I'm just going to ask you a few questions. What's your name?" She asked, leading her into the room that they would be doing the questioning in.

"Jillian Green." The woman answered and JJ recognized the last name from the second victim, Hogan. As they sat down, JJ pulled Hogan's case file out of a pile that she had sitting on the desk. She scanned it quickly before looking back up at Jillian.

"So your son was Hogan?" JJ met Jillian's red, puffy eyes.

Jillian smiled, her eyes clouded with memories of her son. "Yes." Her voice was barely a whisper.

"Where was the last place you saw Hogan before you reported him missing?" JJ asked, hoping to get the abduction site from that question.

"Ummm." Jillian paused in thought, "I dropped him off at school…I watched him go through the front doors, but that afternoon when I came to pick him up…he never came out." A tear slipped down her cheek.

JJ glanced down at the table, knowing the woman's grief. She was mother…she just knew. "Did you notice anything out of the ordinary before he got abducted?"

"No…not really. Everything was normal, soccer was just starting. He was the starting forward for his team." Jillian's eyes started swimming and she started at her hands which were folded on the table in between them.

JJ put a hand on Jillian's hands, comfortingly. The two women made meaningful eye contact before JJ spoke again, "Anything could help." She stopped for a second and Jillian started thinking, "Did he act different? Was there anyone taking a specific interest in you or him? Was there ever anyone you just thought acted a little weird towards you two?"

"No I didn't notice anything…I wish I could be more help." Jillian's eyes became downcast, staring at the surface of the table.

JJ patted her folded hands with reassurance. "You're helping more than you know. Umm…what did you do when you realized that Hogan wasn't coming out?"

"I parked the car and went inside to see if maybe the principal had him or if his teacher did, but he was nowhere to be found. The teacher also said that he hadn't shown up for his last class either. That was when I knew something was wrong."

"He didn't show up for his last class?" JJ was confused about that little detail. How would it be possible for him to disappear between classes with that many witnesses? This guy had to be working in the school to pull off a stunt like that.

"Yes. According to his teacher he was there for math, but never came back for science. They didn't think anything of it because they don't take attendance until the end of class at this school. They didn't even notice that he wasn't there…" A twinge of anger crossed the woman's face before her gaze became distant again.

"Well that's good. At least now we have a time frame for when he was taken and even though you may think that's a small contribution, it could be the thing that saves another child's life so thank you for letting us question you and I'm sorry for your loss. Hogan seemed like a great kid." JJ gave the woman sitting across from her a meaningful look.

"You have kids don't you?" Jillian smiled seeing the familiar motherly look in JJ's eyes, "Is it a boy or girl?"

"Boy. His name is Henry..." JJ rolled her eyes, "He just turned 5 so he's at the clingy stage. It's absolutely crazy." She knew that this was definitely building trust with her. They were empathizing with each other.

"It must be hard for you to be away from home now then." Jillian propped her head with her hand. "How do you do it?"

JJ was immediately reminded of the fight that she and Will had about that very topic before she had gone on a case in Kansas.

_JJ walked out of Henry's bedroom and ran her fingers through her hair. "Ugh. I finally got him down." Henry had been fighting a cold for a few days now so it was a struggle to get him comfortable enough for bed. She walked towards Will._

_"He still warm?" Will asked with his arms crossed over his chest. He leaned against the wall, staring at his wife as she walked up to him. _

_"Uhhh. Ibuprofen must have kicked in." JJ replied, leaning against the wall that was opposite Will. _

_"It's that pre-school. The place is like a petri-dish." Will looked down the hall towards their son's bedroom as JJ's phone beeped quietly from the bed. She walked over and checked it, seeing that it was a text from Garcia telling her that Hotch wanted them to come in. Will knew exactly what was happening so he spoke up, "I thought you had a few days off."_

_JJ read the text a second time, feeling guilty for leaving her husband again, but apparently two kids were dead. They needed the FBI's help. She gave her husband a silent stare, telling him that they needed her there. _

_Will scoffed slightly, "What's the case?"_

_"It's about some missing kids." JJ's eyebrows creased in thought. _

_"Guess you gotta go in then, huh?" Will walked away from her and over to the mirror where he started to take off his watch. He looked at her in the reflection. _

_"Please don't…walk away like that. We've talked about this. I know this is hard on you." _

_Will glanced down at the desk in front of him for a moment before responding, "Henry too." He reminded her without making eye contact. _

_"All of us." JJ corrected, "Look if I had someone to cover my shifts I would." She added, but when he didn't make eye contact again and started to take off his jacket she decided to go on, "What if it was Henry?" She looked down at the ground, horrified by the thought. _

_"Don't." Will turned around to look at her. "It's not Henry, Henry's right in there." He pointed towards the little boy's room. _

_"What if it was?" JJ persisted, meeting his eyes with a knowing stare. "You'd want someone out there looking for him." She pointed out. _

_Will nodded slowly and sat down on the bed. "I know, you're right…it's just…things worked better when you were at the Pentagon." He was staring at the ground. _

_"I wasn't helping anyone there, Will." JJ was staring straight at him with firm, blue eyes. _

_"You worked normal hours and weekends off." Will looked up at her, but she didn't meet his eyes. It was obviously not what she wanted. _

_"Fine, I'll tell them I'm…I can't come in." JJ started typing into her phone. _

_"Don't do that." Will sensed her hostility. _

_"I was supposed to have time off, Henry's not feeling well." _

_"It's alright." Will told her and she looked away from her phone, starting to say something, but he cut her off. "You should go; I'll take care of it."_

"Agent Jureau?" Jillian woke her from her thoughts, but she recovered quickly.

"We make it work…somehow. My husband's great and he's a detective so he understand my situation." JJ shrugged. "I just wish Henry could be more independent sometimes, you know?"

"Oh trust me, one day you'll wish he was clinging to you…" Jillian smirked, "The next stage is when he'll start making other friends and forgetting all about you." She rolled her eyes. "Once Hogan was out so long with his friends that I called the police to report him missing, but it turned out he was just at a friend's house." She chuckled, but it faded quickly. "I never thought he would really be gone."

JJ blinked and they sat in silence for a moment as a silent memorial for the boy. "I'd be glad to see Henry be anything like Hogan was." She smiled and Jillian gave her a thankful nod. "Well, I think that's it for the questioning, but if you think of anything else you call me personally at this number." JJ scribbled it down on a piece of paper. "Or if you need to talk…being a mother and a profiler I might be able to help you cope…if you need it."

The woman stood up and nodded at JJ, "Thank you Agent Jureau." She slipped the piece of paper JJ had given her into her purse before walking out the door. After the door shut, JJ took a few minutes to herself just to think about the interview, but the only thing she could think about was the smiling picture of Hogan. He seemed like such a happy little boy, how could someone just take his life-like that? It was then that JJ realized that the only thing that she had told herself to prevent from happening had happened. She had gotten too attached and too personal with one of the victims. JJ sat forward in her chair and saw Hotch trudging out of the station with a blank expression on his face. How did he do that? How could he control his emotions like that? Maybe he just didn't care like she did. Everything that she had been taught as a child was unraveling before her. She'd been told that compassion was something that could never be bad. It was an emotion that gave you the power to sympathize with people while still having a desire to help, but now compassion is the enemy. If JJ wanted to get through this she would have to learn quickly how to control and push away her passion and emotions. She hoped that nothing would come of the connection she had already made, but a voice deep inside her, a devil's advocate, told her that later it _was _going to become a problem and it _was_ going to affect the case.

She should have believed it.

* * *

**"Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy for you too."**

Frederick Buechner


	5. Chapter 5

**"The difference between school and life? In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you're given a test that teaches a lesson."**

Tom Bodett

* * *

Schools were supposed to be safe, secured places for kids to learn and grow. It was the place where a kid had all of their firsts. Their first friends, first pair of skinned knees, very first crush, and the first time they really knew who they were. It would be a place where kids could find sanctuary, even though some hated it, deep down they knew that without it they wouldn't be who they were. School was _supposed_ to be all of those things, but this place had turned into one kid's nightmare. As JJ walked towards the front doors she remembered that this was the last place that Hogan Greene had been seen alive in and it made her sick to her stomach. Just after she had finished her interview with Jillian Greene and shared her findings with Morgan and Emily, they had called Hotch. He had said that they needed to go down to the school and interview some faculty members to get some information. JJ volunteered and now, as she glanced over her shoulder, she was glad that she had chosen to come and conduct these interviews alone instead of having a profiler come with her. They, unlike most people, would have been able to see through her walls and see that she wasn't as put together as she seemed. This case was getting to her. Knowing that this kid had been abducted in a place similar to the one that she sent her own son to everyday made chills run down her spine. _Get over it…you're strong and all you're here to do is get answers. Henry is okay…he's safe._ She told herself, but the thoughts didn't give her the comfort she had expected. A swift breeze blew through the small courtyard that she was walking through and she lifted her hand up to smooth down some of her hair. She looked down at her watch and saw that it was 4:00. School was already out so she would have plenty of time to speak to some teachers and maybe even the principal. JJ walked into the building with her head held high and entered the front office.

"Oh hello ma'am. What can I help you with?" The woman sitting in front of a large desk asked, politely. A couple other women looked up from their paperwork as JJ walked in; they were obviously suspicious of her, probably because of the professional clothing that she was wearing.

"Hello. I'm Jennifer Jureau and I'm with FBI." JJ held up her badge and then started to stick it back into her pocket, "I was hoping that I could talk to the principal, if they're here." She made sure to say 'they' because she wasn't sure if the principal was a man or woman.

"Ummm…" The woman looked down at a paper before meeting JJ's eyes again, "It seems that he's meeting with someone right now, but I can lead you back to his office now." The secretary stood up and motioned for JJ to follow as she walked out of the front office and down the hall. She stopped in front of a door where faint talking could be heard inside and then gestured for JJ to sit in one of the chairs lining the hall. As the secretary walked away, JJ remembered the couple of times that she had been sitting in chairs like these. Two or three times as a teenager for doing stupid juvenile things and then once as an adult when Henry had got into a fight with another boy in his class. The voices coming from the room started to rise as time went on and JJ couldn't help but listen.

"Is it true that Hogan Greene was abducted inside these very school walls?" That voice sounded familiar, but JJ couldn't exactly pair a face with it.

"I'm not supposed to answer any of these questions! I already told you that I don't want any press to do a story about this school!" The principal countered, his voice raised. "Turn that camera off. I didn't sign any papers or anything; you can't put this on TV."

"Oh contraire. I can just blur out your face and then it's completely legal." The reporter replied, smugly. "Do you think that one of your own faculty members could be the one committing all of these murders?"

"Get out of my office!" The principal ordered, but there was no sound of movement. This reporter was persistent. JJ remembered the voice from the crowd that had been outside of the police station hours earlier. She knew that the principal needed help so she stood up and entered the room. First she was met with the green eyes of a scruffy looking man that she assumed was the principal. He was completely caught off guard by her sudden entrance. The brunet reporter turned around when she heard the door open with her hazel eyes widening in excitement. She waved a hand for the chubby camera man beside her to turn around too and film everything that was happening.

"Agent Jureau?" The reporter stood up and walked towards her. "Can you confirm the rumors about the abduction in this school? Are you here to arrest one of the faculty members? Or maybe to conduct some _private _interviews?" She grinned.

"_Actually. _I got a call from a secretary member telling me that there was an unwanted trespasser in this school, trying to get information. It seems that you've been caught in the act. Now, you will turn that camera off, give me the film, and if anyone sees you around here again you will be arrested for trespassing." JJ told her threateningly even though it was all complete lies. In all honesty, lying to the press was the only way to get them to go away.

The camera man lifted his hand and pressed a button that made the red light stop blinking. He bit his lip, looking at the reporter for some guidance, but she had her eyes glued on JJ as if waiting to see if she could catch the blonde agent in a lie.

JJ put her hand out. "The film?" She glared at the camera man, fiercely.

He froze, looking nervously at the reporter. He didn't move to remove the tape, but JJ knew he was uncomfortable under her hard gaze.

The reporter waved her hand, "Give it her." She sighed and picked her journal and bag. "You win this time." She muttered, eyeing the FBI agent warily.

"Yea and you tell your press friends not to come around here either." JJ took the film from the camera man and the pair sulked out the door.

It was just the principal and her alone now. There was an awkward silence between them before he finally spoke up. "Thank you for that. I don't think I told any of my secretaries to call you, but I'm glad that they did." He smiled, courteously at his superior.

"Your secretary didn't call me." JJ set the film down on his desk before sitting down in the chair across from him, ignoring the surprised stare that he gave her. "I spoke to Hogan Greene's mother and I know that this was the last place that Hogan was seen. I'm just here to talk to some of your teachers and see what they remember." She told him.

"Of course." The principal nodded and clicked the mouse on his computer. "Let me just see which teacher he was with before recess." He paused to look at her. "That's when you think he was taken, right?"

"When is their recess?"

"Before the last class, which he didn't show up to. It would only make sense that he was taken then, it's pretty much the only time that kids aren't being monitored closely by teachers."

"It's a likely possibility."

He smirked, "You must have to be good at that to be in the FBI."

"Good at what?" JJ shifted in her chair, confused by his comment.

"Not giving straight answers." He chuckled and typed a little more. "The last teacher Hogan was with is Ms. Parks. You also might want to talk to some of the other teachers in that hallway because they were out at recess that day too." The man across from her stood up and started walking towards the door, gesturing for JJ to follow. He led her down a couple hallways until she saw a dead end and they entered the classroom just before the ending. "Christi." The principal addressed the woman sitting in the room, "This is Agent Jureau from the FBI. She's here to ask you some questions about Hogan Greene."

JJ stepped forward and held her hand out to the woman. "I'm sorry we have to meet under these circumstances." She gave her a well-mannered smile to break the ice.

Ms. Parks, or Christi, shook JJ's hand solemnly. "I hope I can help." Her eyes seemed glum, probably from guilt. She worked with these children and was supposed to prevent things like this from happening under her watch.

"Let's sit." JJ sat down in the chair across from Christi's desk. It was a small chair, but she ignored the slight discomfort that she felt. "Hogan was in your class?"

"My science class, yes." Christi replied, hazily.

"And when did that class start?" JJ asked, hoping that she could get a potential time frame for the abduction.

"Science class started at 1:00 and then at 2:00 we would let them out for recess until 2:25. For the last hour of the day I would teach math." Christi paused, her eyes meeting the ground. "Hogan never came back for math that day."

JJ nodded, understandingly. "Did you go out to recess with them?"

"No and when Hogan didn't come back inside I asked, Patti-uhhh…Ms. Jenkins about him. She said she saw him talking to a man outside by the playground." Christi told her.

"Why didn't she tell anyone?" JJ asked, standing up now. She needed to talk to Ms. Jenkins to find out who Hogan had been talking to that day. "Thank you for your participation." She muttered and Christi said something behind her, but she was already walking over to the principal again. "I need to speak with Ms. Jenkins."

The principal nodded, waving at Christi before leading JJ across the hallway to a classroom with a closed door. He knocked on it, lightly and it opened a few minutes later. "Hello Patti. This is Agent Jureau from the FBI." He smiled.

"I was hoping I could ask you some questions about Hogan Greene." JJ joined the conversation, smiling warmly at the woman.

Patti led both of them into her room. The women sat down across from each other while the principal stood awkwardly in the doorway, listening.

"Ms. Jenkins, that day when Hogan was outside for recess you told Ms. Parks that you saw him talking to someone, a man?" JJ asked, getting straight to the point. This could potentially be a breakthrough in the case if someone had seen the unsub.

"He was talking to a man underneath a tree. The man had dirty blonde hair and was kneeling down in front of Hogan." Ms. Jenkins started to explain, but JJ cut in.

"If you saw this, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"After a few minutes of watching I walked over, but then I realized that it was Hogan's uncle. I recognized him from some school functions, but I still didn't like that they were talking in the middle of the playground. I asked him what he was doing and he said that he was going to take Hogan home because he didn't feel good. He lifted Hogan up and walked back into the building so I just thought he had signed him out." Ms. Jenkins explained the rest, looking at JJ curiously.

"Why didn't he sign him out then?" JJ asked, quietly almost to herself. "Is that all you saw?"

"Yes. That was it." Ms. Jenkins nodded. "Did that help…or…?"

"Yes you were a big help, but I have to go now. I have to go talk to Hogan's mom." JJ shook Ms. Jenkins hand and then walked back over to the principal. "Thank you for letting me come and conduct these interviews. We might have just made a breakthrough."

"I'm glad." The principal smiled and walked her out the front door. "Let me know how it goes!" He called to her as she entered the FBI SUV. Before she started her car she dialed Hotch's number. He answered on the second ring…he was such an over achiever.

"JJ? Did you find anything?" Hotch asked with desperateness clear in his voice. It was obvious that the inspection of the dump site hadn't brought up any new evidence to help the investigation.

"Hogan was seen talking to his uncle during recess and when the teachers asked him what he was doing he said he was taking Hogan home, but there is no record of him ever signing him out. I'm going to Jillian Greene's house now to ask her about it. Can you call Garcia and see if she can get the security tapes from the school?"

"Yes. Do you want anyone to come with you?" Hotch asked her, sounding protective. She'd been alone for most of the day so she knew he was worried about her.

"No I'm fine, plus I think I've built trust with Ms. Greene. She'll open up to me more than anyone else." JJ pointed out truthfully. If there was something she was hiding, it would be easier for JJ to find it out then the other profilers.

"Okay, just be careful." Hotch responded before hanging up.

JJ decided after that call ended that she should call Jillian Greene in advance so that it wouldn't seem like JJ was just dropping in unexpectedly. It rang one too many times before Jillian finally answered, sounding rushed.

"Hello, who is this?"

"Hello Jillian, this is Agent Jureau. I just got finished with some interview at the school and a teacher told me that your brother may have been with Hogan before he was abducted. I was hoping we could talk. Is this a good time?" JJ asked, hopeful that the woman would answer yes so she wouldn't have to return to the station pretty much empty handed.

There was a pause on the other end and then some static from what JJ could only conclude was Jillian putting her hand over the speaker. It wasn't very successful though because JJ could still faintly hear the conversation she was having with a man.

"She wanted to come over now." Jillian told someone. Her voice was barely a whisper. JJ strained to hear, sitting completely still so she wouldn't make noise to disrupt the faint sound coming from her phone.

"Why?" A deep voice asked.

"She said you were with Hogan that day…" Jillian replied to the man, sounding hurt and betrayed. That was obviously new information to her.

"She's lying." The man, Jillian's brother lied. "She's just trying to figure out a way to get information out of us. She does work for the BAU, they're masters of manipulation. Don't let this get between us."

"Are you lying to me, Shane?" She hissed, sharply.

"No! Why would I lie to you?" Shane's voice rose a little bit, making it easier for JJ to hear what they were saying.

"Shh…" Jillian shushed him. "She's still on the line, what should I do?"

"Get rid of her." That was the last statement JJ heard before there was more static and Jillian's voice became clear again.

"Sorry about that. I was just checking my agenda. Now really isn't a good time, I have a doctor's appointment in an hour so I have to leave in 30 minutes. Maybe another time, sorry." Jillian told her, sounding sincerely sad. This made JJ wonder how much of the interview they'd had together were actually lies to begin with.

"Oh…alright. I'll just call tomorrow so we can set up a meeting. Thanks Jillian, bye." JJ hung up the phone, knowing that was exactly what they wanted her to do. She started her car now and backed out of the spot. She was going to the Greene house and she would catch Shane in the act of whatever he was doing. As she concluded that she dialed Hotch's number, only to be met by his voice mail. His phone was off for some reason so she just left a message.

"Hotch, it's JJ. I think Shane Greene is the unsub. I just got off the phone with Jillian and she had a conversation with him and he is manipulating her into thinking that we're lying. I'm going down there now and hopefully I'll find them there. Send back up once you get this, he might be dangerous." JJ hung up and immediately dialed a random speed dial number. It was one of her teammates she just wasn't sure which.

"Hello?" She recognized Reid's voice.

"Spence! It's JJ. I think I know who the unsub is. Can you get Garcia to look up Jillian Greene's address for me?"

"What? Why?" Reid sounded confused by her sudden urgency.

"Spence! Can you just do this for me?" JJ pushed on. She was in the middle of driving to an unknown destination so she really didn't have time to explain the whole entire situation to him. What she really needed was an address.

Reid dialed another number, adding it to their call. She heard Garcia answer with a witty comment, but JJ didn't have time for that.

"Garcia, can you get me Jillian Greene's address?" JJ asked, frantically. Luckily she was stopped at a stoplight so Garcia had a window of time to find it.

Buttons clicked furiously in the background. "5423 Gardenrose Road, 24593." She paused and JJ took the time to type it into the navigation in the SUV before turning her attention back into the call. "What's going on Jayje?" Garcia asked and Reid was listening as well.

"Hogan Greene was last seen at school with his uncle who was supposed to be taking him home, but he never signed him out. I was a little suspicious so I was going to go talk to Jillian Greene about it, but when I called her she was talking to her brother when she thought I couldn't hear. He told her to get rid of me so I have to get down there and see what's going on." JJ told them in one breath. "You guys need to come out to her house too because I don't know if he's dangerous or not."

"Oh god, Jayje. Be careful, I can't have my gumdrop getting hurt out there okay?" Garcia warned her.

"I won't, Garcia. I promise that everything going to be fine." JJ hung up and sped down the road, following the instructions of the GPS. Shane Greene could be dangerous if he was the unsub, but if this was all a dead end trail then it was going to be an awkward moment when she burst through that door. Maybe this was the result Hotch was talking about, when people go too involved. JJ just prayed that nothing too serious would happen, all she needed to do was get down there and hold everything up until the rest of her team got there…easy. Her heart started pumping in her chest and she felt adrenaline pumping through her veins. As she pulled up to the curb outside Jillian Greene's house she thought of the promise she had made to Garcia and she wordlessly wondered if she had just made a promise that she couldn't keep.

* * *

**"Promises are the uniquely human way of ordering the future, making it predictable and reliable to the extent that this is humanly possible." **

Hannah Arendt


	6. Chapter 6

**"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far it is possible to go."**

_T.S. Eliot_

* * *

Before JJ got out of the SUV she decided to try to call Hotch's cell one more time. She wasn't used to going in this blind and alone, without backup. If she wanted to play her cards right she needed Hotch's guidance. The line rang a few times this time before going to voicemail again. She wondered what he was doing right now that was so important that he couldn't answer his phone. Stuffing her phone into her pocket, she put on her bulletproof vest with the letters FBI printed on the front and walked towards the front door. She hadn't pulled her gun out yet because she didn't even know if he was actually going to be dangerous. The moment she started walking up the front steps she heard yelling coming from the back porch. One of the voices she recognized to be Jillian's while the other was a man's voice, probably her brother's.

"What are you talking about?" Shane's voice boomed. "I didn't do anything to him."

"You're lying. Sometimes you forget, Shane, but I grew up with you! I know when you aren't telling me the truth!" Jillian yelled back at him, sounding completely distressed.

"Oh come on…" He started

"It _was_ you!" Jillian carried on, "You took Hogan out of school that day! Where did you take him, Shane?" She demanded and JJ knew that was a mistake. This might anger Shane and get him to do things he didn't mean to. If he could kill kids he could definitely be heartless enough to kill his own sister.

"Oh come on Jillian, you can't possibly think that I did this? I loved that kid." Shane told her. When he called Hogan 'kid' JJ knew that he was depersonalizing his victim. He had to be the unsub, he just had to be. She couldn't help wondering if she was just invested on him being it so much that she was blinding herself from other potential suspects.

"Where did you take him?!" There was a slight pause, "Oh my god, what are you doing with that? Put that away! Where did you get that?!" Jillian yelled, making JJ's stomach drop. Something was happening and she couldn't just stand by and listen.

JJ opened the gate to the back yard, creeping around the side of the house. Even though the backup wasn't here, she was sure that this was what she had to do to find out exactly what was happening. Neither of them saw her as she crouched in the bushes near the screened in porch, holding her gun in her hands.

Shane was standing across from Jillian, who was now tearing up. He was holding a gun in his left hand and using his right hand to stroke it gently. "Oh this old thing?" He shrugged and put it down on the table. "It was a gift."

Jillian visibly relaxed as he set it down. "Why do you have it? What did you do, Shane?"

"It's not what I did…because I'm pretty sure you already pieced that together. It's what I'm going to do." Shane paced back and forth in front of her. "Now that you know…you're going to tell the police…and I can't have that." He picked up the gun off the table again, lifting it up towards her.

"Shane! I'm your little sister; you don't have to do this! I won't tell!" Jillian pleaded, her voice cracking.

JJ dashed out of the bushes and climbed up the steps of the porch to come up behind Shane. "Shane Greene! Put the gun down!" She ordered, holding her gun in front of her so that she was peering down it's black barrel. She kept it trained on his large frame.

Shane turned around to face her while lowering his gun to point at the ground. His green eyes were shining. She was expecting him to lower his gun to the ground or at take another attempt to shoot Jillian, but instead he just cocked his gun slowly while still aiming it at the ground.

"Mr. Greene. Lower your weapon to the ground or I'll shoot. I have backup in the front there's no way you're getting out of this!" JJ lied, praying that it sounded convincing enough to intimidate him.

Instead of doing what he knew was rational; Shane raised his gun at the FBI agent. His hands were visibly shaking and sweat was beading on his forehead. This guy was obviously unstable and contemplating what to do. "You don't have backup!" He shook his head. "You agents…you think you're good at manipulation and getting into people's heads, but I know you're lying. I can see it in your eyes." He stepped towards her, his eyes still gazing into hers. "Your eyes…"

"Step back! Don't come any closer." JJ didn't like him starting to creep towards her. She cocked her gun and rested her index finger on the trigger.

"She looks just like her." Shane stepped back towards Jillian, "Doesn't she?" He asked.

Jillian obviously knew who he was talking about. She looked JJ from head to toe and then shrugged. "Yea…I guess." It was easy to tell that this woman was trying desperatley to keep her composure and give him the answer that he wanted to hear.

"You guess? Same hair, same eyes…same feistiness. I love it." Shane grinned and stepped towards her again.

This time JJ didn't just let his movement towards her slide. She squeezed down on the trigger sending a bullet into the wall of Jillian's house, just barely missing Shane's shoulder. She had missed on purpose, hoping to scare him into putting his gun down.

Unexpectedly, after JJ had shot her gun off, Shane charged straight at her and knocked her gun out of her hand. It slid across the wooden floor, leaving JJ defenseless. As swiftly as he had charged at her, he turned around and shot his own sister. The blonde woman fell to the ground with her arms wrapped around her stomach. JJ charged at him, tackling him to the ground. His own gun slid away from him and JJ jumped off of him, lunging for the weapon. He only hesitated for a moment before diving after her and wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her away from it. She reared back and elbowed him in the gut, causing his grip to loosen considerably. To get out of his grasp she simply kicked backwards and propelled herself off of him. Her body fell to the ground with a thud and he stepped backwards in shock, giving her just enough time to pull herself to her feet again.

"I like the fire in you, Agent…" He looked at her FBI card clipped to her shirt, "Jureau." He chuckled and just as he felt like he was superior, she struck with a swift punch to the gut which just stunned him for a moment, giving her enough time for her next punch; a powerful hit to his jaw. He fell back against the wall, bringing his hand up to his chin. JJ took that second to glance down at the hand she had punched with. She was almost sure it was sprained and maybe even broken. Now she was going to have to go in with her left hand. Shane recovered quickly, stood back up and blinded with anger, he charged straight at her. She side stepped to get out of the way and he lost his balance, but was able to grab her around the waist and bring her down with him. Luckily she landed on top of him so she was able to scramble to her feet, but he grabbed her ankles and yanked her back to the ground. She fell with all the force of her body on her two elbows. The sudden pain caused her to pause for a moment, but only a brief moment before she started to get up again only to realize that Shane wasn't still on the ground anymore. Where was he? She whipped around quickly and found out just what had happened in that brief moment that she had paused. Shane had found one of their guns. One shot was all it took.

And then it was over.

* * *

After visiting the dump site, Hotch and Rossi had decided to release a preliminary profile to some officers so that they could start increasing patrols around the city. During the time, Hotch had felt his phone vibrating in his pocket, but had ignored. The second time it rang he only let it vibrate a few times before nonchalantly stuffing his hand in his pocket and clicking the button to ignore the call. Whoever it was could wait until he finished this meeting.

"Thank you for your time officers. If you need anything or have any questions, feel free to ask anyone on my team." Hotch nodded to them with his arms crossed over his chest. Just as he stood up to leave, a few officers raised their hands with questions for them. This took up 10 more minutes of their time before they finally left the room and Hotch immediately checked his cell. He had two missed calls from JJ and one voicemail. Swiftly, he lifted the phone to his ear and listened to the message.

"What is it, Hotch?" Rossi asked, with a concerned look crossing his face.

"Come on and get Garcia on the phone, NOW." Hotch practically ran out of the meeting room they were in. He dialed Morgan's number and waited impatiently as it rang.

"Hotch! Finally someone got a hold of you!" Morgan exclaimed. "We're almost down to Jillian Greene's house with some backup, but you need to get down here too because JJ isn't picking up her phone. Something's wrong."

"Okay, Rossi and I are on our way right now. Bring her back, Morgan." Hotch told his colleague, a bad feeling bubbling up in his stomach. He had a special connection to JJ, maybe it was over their share of personal loses, or maybe it was because they were both equally stubborn. To Hotch, JJ was the only person who really knew how to make him smile ever since Hailey had died and he knew that he was the only one who could really see through her walls.

Rossi fell in step with the distraught unit chief, his hand cupped over the receiver end of his cell phone. "I have Garcia on the line, what did you need?" He asked, trying to keep up with the man as they trudged through the police station.

"Jillian Greene's address." Hotch paused and saw the confused look that Rossi gave him. "I'll explain on the way, but right now we just need to get down there."

Rossi nodded and they both entered the car together, quickly getting the address that they needed. It took them a good 20 minutes to get there. Two SUVs with FBI plates were parked in front of the house, one in the driveway, the other next to the curb. Two other police cars were also parked in the driveway so Hotch also had to park his SUV by the curb. Rossi didn't have enough time to observe his surroundings before he saw Hotch jogging towards the house so he followed, a bit dumb-founded.

"Hotch? Rossi?" Morgan walked in through the glass door which led to the back porch. "You guys need to see this…" His voice sounded grave.

Hotch's stomach turned again, making him want to throw up. "Okay." He took a quick gulp and then followed Morgan out to the back porch. The furniture was a complete mess and Hotch noticed a gun was lying behind one of the tables, lost and forgotten. Next to the glass door they had walked through was a pool of blood and across from them by the other door was more blood, but only in droplets. Hotch looked over them and observed that they stopped abruptly once they got to the end of the stairs. "Whose blood is this?"

Morgan turned away, walking back towards the first pool of blood. He bent down next to it.

"Morgan!" Hotch demanded, causing him to jump. "Whose blood is this?" HE asked again, this time more firmly.

"This," Morgan pointed to the pool in front of him, "is Jillian Greene's blood. She was shot twice in the stomach and was taken to the hospital already before you got here." He sighed. "That," He pointed to the droplets, "is unknown. It could be Jillian's."

"It could be JJ's." Hotch shook his head. "What did the paramedics say about Jillian? Is she going to survive?"

"She was awake when she left so I think she's going to be fine, why?" Morgan stood back up to face the unit chief's hard, cold stare.

"I need you to talk to her and ask her what she remembers.

"Wait, wait. So are we just going to assume that he took JJ? She could be driving back to the station or something. Maybe getting coffee. I don't know." Morgan suggested, shrugging.

"Her car is here, Morgan. Right now we're going to prepare for the worst. Call Reid, Garcia and Prentiss. Tell them that JJ is missing and they need to come down to Jillian Greene's house." Hotch barked the orders, forcefully.

"They're already on their way."

"Good." Hotch stuffed his hands into his pockets. "Has the medical examiner taken a specimen of the blood yet?" He asked Morgan.

"Yes sir." Morgan replied, looking down at it. "Why would he take her after he shot her though? We never profiled him to be one for taking hostages like this."

"JJ's not a hostage to him. He's been looking for kids, right?" Hotch asked, looking at Morgan for an answer.

"Yes…"

"If he's going to have new children, then he's going to need a new wife." Hotch shook his head and stared over the yard, only hoping that JJ could keep herself and the small children that he knew would be with her safe from this psycho unsub.

* * *

**"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair."**

C.S. Lewis


	7. Chapter 7

**"Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that."**

Martin Luther King Jr.

* * *

"Jennifer…" A distant voice was calling her name. She didn't want to wake up yet, more than anything she just wanted to keep her eyes shut. "Jen…come on. Show me those pretty eyes of yours." The voice sounded clearer now and much closer than it had been before

As her other senses started to clear so did her memory. She had been at Jillian Greene's house when she heard the arguing, Shane had pulled a gun, they had fought and then… All the pain came shooting up her body at once…oh yea. She'd been shot. Where exactly? She wasn't sure. Right now, she was just hoping she hadn't moved enough to let Shane know that she was awake.

"Jen? Are you awake?" His hand touched her cheek, patting it gently.

JJ made sure that she stayed completely still during all of his attempts. Her wrists were tied in front of her, making her bullet wound feel compressed and squeezed together. She knew that it was somewhere on her left shoulder or chest, in that general area.

"Who is that?" The voice of a girl spoke. It was high pitched so JJ guessed that she had to be around 4 or 5. Luckily, her voice was strong and it didn't sound like she was weakened by any wounds or beatings just yet.

"Her name is Jennifer. She's going to be my new wife and your new mommy." His voice was low and sinister. Without even seeing him she knew that he probably had an evil smile on his face. It was definitely time for her to wake up so she could save the poor little girl from him. She made her eyes open slowly to support the impression that she was waking up for the first time. The room they were in was large with three beds, one large one and a bunk bed on the other side. There were two doors, one directly across from her and the other was to her left. A small window was on one of the walls near the ceiling on the wall to her right. It was too high and too small for anyone to escape. She was sitting in a wooden chair in the middle of everything. A small lamp in the corner was the only thing lighting up the concrete room since it was already dark outside. In the corner, next to the lamp, a small blonde girl was huddled in a ball. As her small, tired icey blue eyes met JJ's cobalt ones, she tried to give her the most comforting look that she knew how.

"Well look who's awake!" Shane was now standing in front of her with his face inches from hers. His breath smelled like cigarettes. "I absolutely love those eyes…" He chuckled to himself. "Jennifer meet Susan, isn't she pretty?" He pointed to the small girl huddled in the corner and started to walk over to her. Her tiny body curled up tighter.

"Leave her alone!" JJ yelled at him, protectiveness bubbling inside of her. She wasn't going to let Shane do anything to harm this poor little girl.

Shane whipped around and JJ saw rage flash across his face. He swung his arm around and slapped her across the cheek. The force was so great that JJ almost fell out of the chair that she was sitting it. "Wives don't talk to their husbands like that! I'm the boss and you do whatever I say." He looked at both of them. "Is that clear, Jennifer?"

"So it's not okay for me to voice my opinion, but its okay for you to hit me?" She lifted her hand to feel her cheek and see if it was swelling. "Did you hit your other wife?" JJ asked, boldly. She had no idea where the bravery came from.

Shane brought his hand down and backhanded her again, harder than the first time. "Is that clear, Jennifer?" He waited for a few seconds, but she didn't say a word. "Say yes right now!" He yelled, balling his fist in preparation to hit her again.

"Fine." JJ spat through gritted teeth. It wouldn't do anyone any good for him to punch her across the face right now.

"There you go. That wasn't so hard was it?" Shane got to his knees across from her and looked at her lips just before he gave her a forceful kiss. She tried to pull away, but he just forced himself harder onto her. It lasted for a good five or six seconds before he finally pulled away and allowed her to gulp in some air. Not only did his breath smell like cigarettes, his lips tasted like them too. She wanted to throw up, but she realized that she hadn't eaten all day because of the case, so all she did was get on her hands and knees by the chair and dry heave.

"I'll be back later with some food. You two get to know each other." Shane walked out of the room and locked the door behind him.

The dry heaving lasted for a few more seconds until JJ let out a few more coughs and then it was over. She crawled over to the closest wall and sat against it. Once she was comfortable, she looked over at the girl in the corner.

Susan had visibly relaxed a little bit once Shane had left them alone, but she still didn't look at JJ. It was easy to see that the poor girl was terrified.

"Susan?" JJ asked, trying to use the skills she had to help this girl. "I'm Jennifer, like he said, but you can call me JJ…if you want. I'm with the police." She tried to talk slowly for her so that she wouldn't feel threatened.

Susan turned her head towards JJ, but still looked hostile and untrusting. "The police?" She asked, but continued on without waiting for her answer. "Why haven't you stopped him yet then?" She asked, expectantly.

"I can't do it alone. My friends have to come and help. It might take them a while, but I promise I won't let anything happen to you while we're waiting, okay?" She smiled at Susan, reassuringly.

"Everyone calls me…Susie." The girl corrected JJ, letting herself relax a little more. She was glad that this girl was slowly starting to build trust with her.

"Okay." JJ nodded, "How long have you been here, Susie?" She tilted her head to the side in curiosity. Hopefully she could keep this girl alive until her team came.

"One night." Susie's eyes drifted towards the floor with a home-sick look in her eyes.

"How old are you?" JJ looked the girl from head to toe and she had to say that she was between four and six, but she wasn't sure which one.

"Five." Susie answered, hugging her knees tightly to her chest. "How old are _you_?" She raised her eyebrows and the corners of her lips twitched with what seemed to almost be a smile. _Almost._

"Twenty-nine. I have a son that's just about your age; he's four and a half." JJ gave the girl a friendly smile.

"I bet he's nice." Susie looked at JJ and then she was reminded of her own family. "I want to go home to my mommy." Her big blue eyes started swimming with tears.

JJ scooted towards her. "Hey, it's okay. It'll only be a couple more days at the most. All you have to do is do _whatever_ he says. Even if I don't or if you don't want to do it, I want you to do whatever he tells you to do."

"I will." Tears slid down the small girl's cheek and JJ wiped them away with her thumb. JJ was glad to feel Susie scoot closer to her and lay her head across her chest.

"Don't worry. Everything is going to be alright. I promise I will do everything I can to get you back to your mommy." JJ smiled at the girl and acted completely confident in herself even though she wasn't sure if she was trying to convince the girl…or herself.

* * *

**"Sometimes you feel a weight on your shoulders. That in itself is not a problem. When we say 'weight', people think, 'Oh, it's not good!' But to feel the weight is not necessarily bad. The weight comes with the situation. You just have to know how to relate to the weight in a solemn way."**

Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

* * *

**Sorry this chapter is so short, but I've been really busy so I decided that I needed to at least post something right now to keep it alive. I'll try and update, but it may be only on the weekends now or at least over a couple days. Sorry! Hope you like it. :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**"Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security."**

John Allen Paulos

* * *

_Hotch! I'm so glad you called me back! What happened at the house? No one's telling me anything which makes me feel like something is wrong. Is everyone okay? It better not be my chocolate love muffin in the line of fire AGAIN. _

"Garcia…" Hotch started apprehensively not addressing her joking tone. He wasn't sure how to break the news to one of JJ's best friends. He knew that it would break her heart, but he was the unit chief and he had to do this so they could get on with it.

_Hotch, what's going on? Talk to me._

The teasing in her voice was gone. He had to do it now, in this small window of time. "JJ was shot." Hotch muttered, figuring it was the best place to start. Before he could add the rest of the situation, Garcia's started shooting questions at him.

_Where? Is she okay? Let me talk to her! Did the unsub get away? Why didn't anyone tell me this before? What hospital is she at? Is she even at the hospital? Was she wearing her vest? Sometimes she doesn't put it on…_

"Garcia, Shane shot JJ and then took her with him." Hotch said it as quickly as he could because he had drawn this out for too long already. If they wanted to find her they had to tell their technical analyst what was happening. For a couple seconds all he heard was silence, no typing, no sobbing, he wasn't even sure if she was breathing or not. "Penelope?" He used her first name to try and get through to her.

A slow, shaky breath let out on the other end of the line_. _

_What do you need me to do?_

"Umm…" Hotch was surprised at her reaction. "First find out what hospital they're taking Jillian Greene to and then I want you to look into the Greene family, past and present." He paused for a few seconds when he heard her start typing. "Don't worry, we'll find her."

_I know…_

Garcia muttered this last statement before hanging up on him. _She_ hung up on _him_, but he was too stressed and busy to care.

Just as Hotch turned around to talk to Morgan again he saw an officer approaching him. "Officer Harris? What do you need?" He asked, quickly. He hoped that this man wasn't going to slow down this investigation for something stupid and insignificant.

"Another child has been taken. Her name is Rose Davis and she was abducted while walking home from her bus stop a couple days ago" Officer Harris told Hotch in one breath.

"Why didn't anyone report it until now?"

"It was redirected to the …Police Station so it took a while for us to even find out there was a missing report filled out for her." Officer Harris gave him an apologetic look.

"Alright we'll get on that right away." Hotch nodded at him and then walked up to Emily, Reid, Morgan and Rossi who were all standing on the back porch. All of them looked up as he walked towards them, except for Reid. His eyes were glued to the wooden floor. "Another child has been abducted." He told them.

"Already? How could he take a kid while having to take JJ with him too? There's no way one guy could handle all of that." Morgan shook his head. "You don't think there's another unsub do you?"

"No. The girl was abducted a few days ago, but since all of the minor crimes were redirected the SFPD didn't find out until now." Hotch sighed and put his hand in his pockets. "So that means there's still probably only one unsub."

"We're too many steps behind Greene, we need to catch up if we're gonna find her." Rossi pointed out. "So what do we have for the profile already?"

"Shane Greene is a self-centered narcissist who wants everything to go his way. He most likely suffered the loss of his family, either through death or a divorce and now he's trying to start a new one. He's playing out a fantasy." Emily nodded, starting it off for the rest of them to join in.

"There also had to be a trigger that caused this killing spree to start. Most likely court date or custody agreements maybe even the anniversary of when the original loss actually occurred. Either way it caused him to start hunting out a new family to replace the old one." Morgan added in, looking back and forth from Rossi to Hotch.

"And he obviously kills them if they don't do what he wants, but if they do…who knows how long he might keep them." Rossi added the last part sending a chill down all of his colleagues' spines.

Hotch was the first to recover and start speaking again. "I want Prentiss and Rossi to go interview the parents to get more depth on our unsub. Reid and Morgan, I want you two to go down to the hospital and talk to Jillian see she can tell you what happened. While all of you are on that I'm going to…" He trailed off when he saw Reid crouch down to the floor next to the blood spots. All of the others had their eyes on him as well.

"Reid, what are you doing?" Morgan took a step towards him.

"STOP!" Reid exclaimed forcefully. "Don't move." The genius reached over and picked something up off the ground just in front of Morgan's boot. When he stood back up he held it up for the rest of them to see. Luckily he had gloves on so it was a contamination of evidence.

"Is that a bullet?" Emily's eyes widened with shock.

"Yes!" Reid exclaimed happily. "Do you know what that means?" When he saw the look of confusion on their faces he continued. "If we have the bullet that means JJ's wound could be a through and through! She could be fine!"

"Oh thank god." Everyone looked over at Hotch as he uttered those words. They'd never seen their unit chief look so relieved in their lives. "What?" He asked, confused by the looks that he was getting from his colleagues.

All of them looked away from his gaze. "Nothing." Morgan muttered, "Let's get going."

* * *

"Hey…wake up." JJ shook the little girl that was curled up in her arms. "Susie, wake up." She told her softly. It was morning now and sunlight was pouring into the room from the small window. In front of them on the ground was a meal, surprisingly it was breakfast; bacon, eggs and pancakes for them to share. JJ secretly wondered if they were poisoned with some kind of drug, but then she remembered that Shane was keeping them alive for now as his new family. Great, that was _so_ much better.

The girl moved a little bit, rubbing her eyes with her small palms. "What...?" She asked, tiredly. "What time is it?" She asked, looking up at JJ.

"It's morning now. I'm not completely sure what time though." JJ smiled down at Susie. "He brought food for us. Are you hungry?"

Susie's eyes lit up. "Yes!" She exclaimed practically jumping out of JJ's arms to look over at the tray. She crawled over and slid the tray over to where JJ was sitting. "Wanna share?"

"When was the last time you ate?" JJ asked, curiously before she answered the small girl's question. She shifted her position so that she was sitting cross legged across from the girl with her hands tied in front of her. She glanced down and saw that her shirt was still soaked with her own blood which made her painfully aware that the wound needed to be taken care of soon or it would get infected. JJ felt even weaker today then she did yesterday so she leaned her weight against the wall for support.

"Umm…he took me a day and a half ago. He hasn't fed me since then." Susie took a hungry bite of the bacon and JJ saw the relief flood her eyes. She lustfully wondered what it felt like. "Do you want some?" The girl asked again, holding out a piece of bacon to JJ.

"No you go ahead." JJ knew this girl needed to eat more than she did. Plus JJ was wounded, what was the point of taking up all of the food if she could potentially die from the wound anyway? "Thank you though." She added politely before leaning back against the wall and closing her eyes again.

"Are you okay?" Susie asked and her voice sounded concerned. It was cute that this girl had taken a liking to JJ this quickly.

JJ's eyes slowly opened to meet Susie's. "Yes I'm fine. Don't worry about me." She smiled and then closed her eyes again. It felt so good to relax her body and mind especially at a time like this.

A couple minutes later she felt a small fingers tap her arm. "JJ?" Susie asked, quietly as if she was afraid of waking her up.

The blonde agent opened her eyes again. "Yes?" She blinked a couple times to wake herself up a little bit.

"I'm done so you can have the rest." Susie gave her a smile while nodding down at the plate. There were two pieces of bacon left, one half of a pancake and a small portion of scrambled eggs.

"Are you sure?" JJ looked at her, expectantly.

"Yes, definitely."

JJ gave the small girl a nod and then reached down to pick up one of the pieces of bacon. It was sort of challenging to pick up anything with her hands tied, but she managed. The bacon tasted so good and she felt the pang of hunger in her stomach subside as she ate slowly, savoring each taste. It gave her some of her energy back, but in all truth, her wound was just sucking it away. Once she finished, she pushed the tray away. "Thank you, Susie."

Susie smiled at her. "Umm…what happened to your arm?"

JJ glanced down at her shoulder. "I got hurt before I came here, but it's not as bad as it looks. I'm going to be fine." She lied, knowing that she had to shield this girl from the bad things that were happening around her.

"It's bleeding a lot…do you need a band aid?"

_Yes. _She thought, "No…" She replied, "I can manage until Shane comes back and I'll ask him then if he can fix it."

Susie gave her a slight nod before staring blankly at the wall that they were sitting across from. Minutes passed before she finally spoke again. "Do you really think that your friends are coming to find us?" She looked at JJ with fearful eyes.

"I know they are." JJ replied with complete certainty. "Listen, my team is the best in the world at what we do. We are so good that _superheroes_ come to us to help them with their problems."

"Even Superman?"

"Even Superman. Everyone on the team has a power that makes them special. Our team leader, Hotch, he has the power to turn things to stone with his eyes." JJ smirked to herself as she thought of her boss. She wasn't exactly lying; his gaze could be stone cold sometimes.

"Like Medusa?"

"Yep and he barely ever smiles, but when he does it has the power to make everyone in the room at that one moment, happier than they've ever been in their entire life." JJ explained to the small girl. "So if he ever smiles at you, it's the best feeling in the world. I've only seen it once." She over-exaggerated a bit.

Susie giggled.

"And then there's Dr. Reid. He's a mind-reader so he can read anyone's mind at any time, as long as he can see them. He's also a time traveler, but the one bad thing about his time traveling is that no one from the past can see or hear him when he goes back so the only thing he can do is watch. That's what makes him so smart." JJ smiled at her description of Reid. She missed him so much right in that moment that tears built up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall in front of Susie.

"Who's next?" Susie smiled.

"David Rossi. He's immortal which means that he lives forever without even aging. He's over 200 years old, but he only looks 45. It's mind blowing!

"How'd he get that way?" Susie tilted her head, inquisitively. She was a good listener and she caught all of the details that JJ had failed to mention. This girl could turn out to be a profiler someday with this kind of observation skills.

"In dark ages after the Renaissance in Italy he actually found the fountain of youth that everyone was looking for." JJ came up with the answer on a limb, surprised at how good it seemed after she said it.

"Where is it?"

"I don't know, he won't tell me. His experience and knowledge make him an important member of our team, plus he's never out of work for being sick or anything either." JJ smiled. "Derek Morgan's powers are super speed and super strength. I've seen run faster than a car and punch through a brick wall. It's a pretty amazing sight if I do say so myself."

"How many are left?"

"Two more and they're both girls. There's Emily she has the power of shape shifting, she can become anyone or anything at any time. It makes it kind of hard to tell who and where she is sometimes, but it can really help when we need to go undercover. Last there's Penelope Garcia our eyes in the sky. She can fly _and_ become invisible, which is how she finds out information for us." JJ nodded as she finished, satisfied with her story.

"What's your power?" Susie raised her eyebrows at JJ.

"What?"

"You're on the team so you have to have a power!" Susie exclaimed.

"Oh…oh yea. My power…" JJ paused for a couple seconds to think. "I have two. My first is to be able to see into the future." She smiled.

"Really? Wow! What do you see?"

"I only see flashes, but I see someone bursting through that door. It's…Derek Morgan and he literally bursts through it." JJ stopped. "That's all I can see for now, but if I see anything else I'll let you know."

"Okay so what's your second power?"

"Invisibility to pain which means that I don't feel the feeling any of the things that normal people suffer through when they're hurt. So if he ever hurts me or anything like that you shouldn't feel bad, just remember that I don't feel it." JJ smiled, "Okay?"

"Okay." Susie smiled and let a few seconds pass, "JJ…"

"Yea?"

"Why did he bring us here?"

JJ thoroughly came up with a safe answer before she finally replied. "He wants us to play a game with him."

"What are the rules?" Susie's gaze was straight forward with her expression completely serious.

"There really aren't that many, we just have to pretend that we're his family. If we play along, we'll be fine, but if we don't he'll get mad. So to win this game the trick is to just play along to whatever he says." JJ looked at Susie.

"Okay…" Susie looked up at her. "I'm really happy that you're here." She leaned against JJ again, putting her little head on her chest. "I know as long as you're here, nothing bad will happen."

"That's right. I won't let anything happen." JJ told the girl just before the door started to open. Ironically, she half-wished that she actually had the powers she had described because she would be able to know who was behind the door, what they would do to her and after she found that out she wouldn't be scared because she wouldn't feel the pain anyway. The thought almost made JJ sigh.

Irony: Good in books and in movies, but in real life…you wish it didn't exist.

* * *

**"A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge. The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter:  
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.' The little girl said:  
'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'  
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.  
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.  
'If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go.'" **

**"In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather than expecting them to hold yours..."**

Jay Draiman


	9. Chapter 9

**"Innocence always calls mutely for protection when we would be so much wiser to guard ourselves against it: innocence is like a dumb leper who has lost his bell, wandering the world, meaning no harm."**

Graham Greene

* * *

JJ's wrists ached. They were chained together so tightly with her handcuffs that her hands were starting to feel numb. It was pathetic to think that he had restrained her with her _own_ handcuffs. It made her feel really weak and incapable, but for now she chose to push those thoughts away. She knew that it had been two days since she had woken up in this room and one day since their last meal. Susie was sleeping on the ground next to JJ with her head in her lap. It was sweet and JJ wished she could sleep that soundly, but this girl's life was in her hands so she had to be alert while the girl was asleep just in case Shane decided to drop in. Her thoughts wandered to her team. She closed her eyes and wondered what they were doing right now. Remembering them made her heart ache, but it also made her hopeful. It was nice to know that someone was actually looking for them and she knew how the team worked too. They would find them soon, and for all JJ knew, they could have Shane in custody right now. She felt Susie stir in her lap so she looked down. The girl's eyes were fluttering open and she lifted her small hands to rub them. A yawn escaped her lips before she sat up slowly and leaned against the wall.

"Good morning." JJ gave her a friendly smile. "Did you sleep okay?"

Susie rubbed her eyes again and gave JJ a shrug. There were a few moments of silence before she spoke again, "When do you think he's coming back?" She asked and JJ saw her glance at the red stain on her shirt.

"I'm fine, sweetie." JJ smiled a little. That was actually the truth. It didn't hurt that much when she stayed still and the wound hadn't hit any arteries or bones which was ultimately a good thing. "He'll probably be back soon though."

Susie looked around the room and her eyes rested on the other door across from them. There were two total. One went to the rest of the house they were in while the other had never been opened. "What do you think that door is for?" She looked at JJ.

"I don't know…" JJ wanted to get up and see, but her wrists prevented her from doing much of anything and she wasn't going to make poor Susie do it without her. She considered her options. There were two ways to open these cuffs; either with a key or to pick the lock. She scanned the room for something small enough to pick the lock with, but didn't see anything until she looked at Susie again. "Susie…is that a bobby pin in your hair?"

Susie reached up into her hair and felt it. "Ummm…yea." She pulled it out and looked down at it, confused on why it was so important.

JJ's heart started pumping. That was perfect! "Can you bend it backwards for me so that it's almost straight?" She asked the girl.

Doing as she was told, Susie sent a puzzled look in JJ's direction. "Why?" She handed the almost straight bobby pin to JJ.

"I'm going to try to pick the lock." JJ used her left hand to stick the tip of the bobby pin into the key hole of the right cuff. Twisting it around carefully she tried to get them unlocked. She let out a sigh after a few tries and felt like this wasn't going to work. She was losing hope, but decided not to give up. The next time she tried she felt the switch that unlocked it and with the bobby she pushed on it, forcing the cuff open. When her right hand came free she rubbed it tenderly with her left hand. There was a purple bruise going around her wrist because the cuff had been too tight, but at least it was off.

"You're free!" Susie cheered happily.

"Shhh…we don't want Shane to know because then he'll get angry, okay?" JJ started to get up, but her wound throbbed painfully. This made JJ realized that the bullet must have torn through one of the muscles near her shoulder. That could definitely be a problem.

"W-what's wrong?" Susie sounded scared.

"Nothing, nothing. I'm okay." JJ pushed through the searing pain in her shoulder and stood up, letting her left arm stay limp at her side. "Let's go see what this door is for." She walked towards it and heard Susie following her. As JJ reached up and turned the knob she was surprised to find that it was unlocked. She pushed the door open it revealed a large bathroom with a bath tub, shower, sink, and toilet. None of that really surprised JJ either because they, after all, were his replacement family so he had to recognize their needs, but what did catch JJ's attention was a window in the corner of the room. It was normal, large window that a person could fit through. The only thing you could see on the other side were the untrimmed leaves of a bush that was growing in front of it. She walked over and started to open it with her right arm, but it was old and stuck. She would have used her other arm if it didn't hurt so much to even move it. Susie came over and started to help. The window moved up a bit, but not enough for either of them to get out. A fresh breeze of cool air flowed in, comforting JJ a little as they kept pushing. Suddenly, she heard the other door in the room begin to unlock. "We have to shut this before he sees." She lifted her hand up and pushed it shut again. She also lifted up her right cuff and put it around her wrist again, locking it. She was sure she could pick the lock again later.

Shane trudged inside and JJ saw the momentary panic in his eyes when he didn't see them. He looked to his right quickly and saw them standing in the bathroom together. "Oh…you startled me." He smiled at them as if he was their friend. "I see you've found the bathroom. That's good." He took JJ's cuffed hand and led her back into the main room with Susie following. "How are you?" He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek.

JJ gave him a shrug. "I've been okay." She decided it was time for her to play along with this. "My shoulder hurts though…do you think you can get me a bandage or something, honey?" She smiled sweetly at him.

"Oh yea…of course. Let me see." Shane pulled the sleeve of her shirt down a little so that he could see the wound. He examined it and then nodded. "Alright…I'll go get you a bandage right after this, but you should take a shower before I get back." He looked down at Susie, who was standing behind JJ. "So should she."

JJ nodded obediently, "So what brings you in here then?"

"I just wanted to check in on my two favorite ladies. You two are being a lot more behaved then I would have thought." Shane smiled bright at them. "I love it." He brushed JJ's hair out of her face.

"I'm hungry." Susie whined and JJ glanced down at the girl. She hoped that this wouldn't anger Shane, he was pretty unpredictable.

"Oh don't worry sweetie." Shane started, kneeling down so that he was at eye level with Susie. "When I get home from work I'll bring food…and bandages." He smiled and kissed her forehead gently. JJ was proud to see that she didn't pull away in disgust or anything like that.

"Oh…wait. How will I get undressed with these on?" JJ asked him, trying to act pathetic and helpless. She looked up at him with the puppy dog eyes that she had mastered throughout the years.

"Oh…oh yes of course, just don't break anything. If I come back and there's something broken in here I'll just put these back on. Do we have a deal?" Shane looked at her expectantly as he pulled the key to the cuffs out of his pocket.

"Yes. I won't break anything." JJ wondered why he was conscious to the fact that his window was open. He unlocked her cuffs and she rubbed her wrists tenderly. "Thank you." She smiled, politely.

"I'll see you two later." Shane leaned in for a kiss and JJ had to use every fiber of her being to stop from cringing. He was disgusting and she hated that she had to do this. He pressed his lips to hers and she returned it. As he pulled away she managed stop the bile in her throat from coming up. He smiled at her. "I love you." He told her and then walked out of the room, locking the door behind him.

"Come on…" JJ said walking towards the bathroom. "We need to try to get this open while he's gone." She pulled on the sill again with her right hand and was surprised to see that was opening easier the second time until it reached the point that they had reached the last time. Now they were going to have to pull hard again. With the help of Susie she got it open wide enough for both of them to slip out. She squeezed through the slot first, ignoring the burning pain that was coming from her shoulder. Next, JJ helped Susie out. They walked through the thick bush together, holding hands. As they walked out into the open the first thing JJ saw was a fence. It looked to be about 10 or 11 feet high, but easy enough to climb. The next thing JJ noticed made her heart plummet. There was a device attached to the fence that had a green light blinking on it. She recognized it. That device was a motion detector. She realized that if they got close enough the sensor would either alert Shane, which seemed unlikely considering that he would be too far away to do anything or it would trigger something else. "Don't move." JJ told Susie gently.

JJ walked over to a stick that was lying on the ground and picked it up. Gulping, she threw it towards the fence. A loud beep sounded and the green light on the motion sensor turned red. The next thing heard was a continuous buzzing. The motion sensor triggered the fence to become electric. Great. She walked back over to Susie.

"What's wrong?" Susie asked her blue eyes big.

"We can't climb the fence. It's electric…it will shock us if we try." JJ shook her head. Now she knew why he wasn't worried about the open window. "We better get back inside, but I promise…I'll figure out a way to get us out of here."

"Okay…" Susie smiled and walked back into the bush with JJ following her. The blonde agent lifted the small girl back through the window and then, using most of her strength, pulled herself back through. Once she got up off the bathroom floor, the two of them shut the window again.

"Alright. Do you want to take your bath now?" JJ smiled at Susie, sitting down on the side of the tub and started the water. "Just turn the knob when it's full enough and then call me when you're done, okay?" She smiled and brushed Susie's hair out of her face. "I'll just be in the other room." JJ walked out and shut the bathroom door behind her. She'd really grown to like this girl and there was no way anything was going to happen to her while JJ was here. Shane would have to go through her if he wanted that girl. She climbed to the top of the bunk bed so that she could look out the tiny window on the other side of the room. She saw what seemed like endless farmland with a single dirt road twisting away. This all seemed so hopeless. They were in the middle of nowhere and time was ticking. What if her team had no idea what had happened? What if Jillian died? What if they weren't even close? JJ shook her head and decided to stop going through the 'what ifs.'

"JJ?" A small voice was heard from the bathroom. "I'm done!" Susie called to her.

"Alright. I'm coming." JJ tenderly climbed down the side of the bunk bed and walked into the bathroom where she found a fully dressed, fully cleaned Susie waiting for her. "Wow…you are so grown up. It's like you don't even need my help." She smiled.

Susie smiled, modestly.

"Okay…I guess I'll take my shower then. You can just wait in the other room, sound good?" JJ led Susie back into the main room.

"Yep." Susie walked over to the bed and sat down on it.

JJ shut the door and turned on the shower. She undressed and tried to ignore the blood that was still all over her torso. She stepped under warm water only to look down and see that it was stained red once it reached the drain, but it did feel good to have the water running down her body. Finally she could get a clear look at the wound on her shoulder. It just looked like a clean hole, but she knew that it could be more serious than that taking into account the pain that she felt when she moved her arm. Next she used the soap and shampoo to actually wash her hair and body. When she finally finished she turned off the shower and got dressed into her dirty clothes which felt even dirtier after the shower because her body was so clean.

JJ opened the door again, expecting to see Susie still sitting on the bed, but instead she saw the girl was standing by the other door…it was wide open next to her. JJ gaped with her mouth wide open.

"I got it open!" Susie told JJ with a large beam on her face.

* * *

"What do you have Garcia?" Morgan asked, putting the phone on speaker as he and Reid drove back down to the precinct. He hoped that they were getting closer to figuring this whole thing out.

_"In 1998 Shane Greene was happily married to a woman named Reese Carson, who, my friends, is a blonde woman with blue eyes like you said. Together the couple had two children; one boy and one girl, the girl being younger than the boy. By the time 2005 rolled around Reese had filed for a divorce because she claimed that Shane was abusive. He didn't go to jail, but he did lose custody of both of his children."_

"That is the family that he is trying to replace." Reid nodded. "So if he's going to keep going with this pattern we should expect that he's going to take a blonde boy soon, right Garcia?"

_"Yes, boy genius."_

"Okay, next you should look for Greene family residences near here that Shane could be holding JJ and the girl." Reid told her.

Garcia started typing, but it abruptly stopped. _"What do you think he's doing to them?"_

Reid exchanged a look with Morgan before responding, "Shane wasn't them to be his family so it's likely that he won't harm them unless they don't cooperate or they try to escape. We just have to hope that JJ has figured that out too." He informed her.

_I miss her…_

"Don't worry, Baby Girl. We're gonna get her back." Morgan told her reassuringly even though a voice in the back of his mind told him that Shane had killed a lot of children already, what was going to stop him from killing JJ and the other girl if they didn't please him?

_My Dark Chocolate, you always know how to cheer me up. I'll call you if I get a hit. Garcia out. _

The call ended, leaving both Morgan and Reid alone with their thoughts. After a short drive from the hospital they parked in the parking lot of the police department. When they walked inside they were intercepted by Hotch and Prentiss.

"What did you get from Jillian?" Hotch demanded. It was obvious that they'd had no luck getting anymore leads while back at the station.

"She said JJ was shot on the shoulder and that Shane did try to stop the bleeding so it is highly probable that JJ is still alive." Reid informed them.

"And how did it even happen?" Prentiss asked.

"Jillian said that Shane was angered when JJ called and they started to argue until he finally told her the truth about her son. He was going to kill her because she knew too much until JJ came. They, apparently, had a fight that ended in Shane getting one of the guns and shooting JJ." Morgan spoke up this time, giving them the gist of Jillian's story.

"Okay…well at least we know that we aren't chasing a dead trail now. Did Garcia call and tell you about Shane?" Hotch asked.

"Yes. So what should we do now?" Morgan asked.

"Well I want-" Hotch was cut off by his own phone starting to ring and now, at this urgent time he had to answer it no matter what. Before he pressed the talk button he prayed that it wasn't the call that would inform him of JJ's death. "Oh…" His face fell.

The team's eyes were glued to their chief as he hung up the phone. They all waited for him to carry on and tell them what the person had said.

"A boy has been taken." Hotch told them, grimly. Now Shane had the entire family that he needed and all the time in the world.

* * *

**"Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can spend it. Once you've lost it you can never get it back."**  
Harvey Mackay


	10. Chapter 10

**"Teach the ignorant as much as you can; society is culpable in not providing a free education for all and it must answer for the night which it produces. If the soul is left in darkness sins will be committed. The guilty one is not he who commits the sin, but he who causes the darkness."**

Victor Hugo, _Les Miserables_

* * *

It took JJ a few moments to get over her shock. "How did you-" The little girl standing in front of her cut her off.

"Your bobby pin." She held it up with a bright smile. "Now let's go before he gets back from work!" She exclaimed holding her hand out for JJ to take.

Getting over her surprise, JJ let the adrenaline take over. She walked over to Susie and took her hand, leading her out of the room and down a dark, narrow hallway. At the end there was a single door and JJ reached reluctantly for the handle, but knowing this could be their only chance she yanked it open. She let out a sigh of relief when it turned out to be a living room on the other side. It all looked completely normal, almost too normal for someone with psychopathic tendencies. She wanted to look around a little bit more, but knew that they didn't have that kind of time. On the other end of the neat room was another door, which she could see through the surrounding windows that it lead to outside. Pulling Susie with her, she jogged hastily to the door and jerked it open. Her heart dropped at the sight on the other side. Driving up to the house was Shane's sinister dark green truck. When he parked in the driveway JJ hopped into the bushes and Susie followed.

Shane was whistling a song as he climbed out. He walked to the backseat and opened the door, pulling something out. JJ struggled to see through the branches, but from what she could tell whatever he was pulling out was heavy. Once it was finally out of the car, JJ realized exactly what _it_ was; a little blonde boy. He looked to be about 10 or 11 and was giving Shane one hell of a struggle to get away. He was kicking and swinging blindly with his small fists. That boy reminded her of Henry…which made her heart ache for him. She couldn't just leave him there. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a shovel leaning against the house. _Perfect. _JJ thought as she turned to Susie, bending down so that they were at the same eye level.

"Susie…" JJ started, trying to figure out how to explain what she was about to do.

"Yea?" She whispered back.

"I want you to wait here while I go out there and help that little boy. When I yell run I want you to come out and with that boy, run as fast as you can to get away from here. Can you do that?" JJ asked softly, putting her hands on the small girl's shoulders.

"W-what about you?" Susie's eyes were swimming now.

"Don't worry about me. I'll be okay." JJ gave her a reassuring look and then a tight hug.

"I-I don't wanna leave you." Susie complained.

"Everything's going to be fine." JJ gave her a light kiss on the forehead. "Are you ready?" She asked and then picked up the shovel.

"Y-yea." Susie sounded nervous, but JJ had to trust that the girl would do as she said and get out of here.

Through the branches JJ saw Shane starting to guide the boy towards the house. This was her chance. Once he passed the bush they were in she tiptoed out, jogged up behind them and then struck Shane in the head with the shovel. He fell to the ground like dead weight and let out a moan. JJ advanced and pulled the blindfold off of the boy's face. He looked completely confused, but she didn't have time to explain. Instead she just yelled, "RUN!" As the words escaped her mouth the boy in front of her darted away and Susie was quick to follow. JJ saw that Shane was starting to get up so she clutched her shovel. Once he was on his feet, he pulled out a knife and waved it at her.

"Jennifer…Jennifer…Jennifer. I thought you would learn." Shane shook his head.

JJ didn't respond she only swung the shovel blindly at him to connect with his midsection. Her shoulder stung slightly from the sudden use of her irritated muscles. Shane hunched in pain over for a fraction of a second and then advanced quickly, pulling the shovel out of her grasp by the bottom. Now she was defenseless.

Shane smirked and put his knife away, now only holding the shovel; it was a better weapon…a more painful, but less fatal weapon. He let out a laugh that sent a chill down JJ's spine and then swung the shovel at her. She dodged, lifted up a nearby flowerpot and threw it at him. He moved out of the way and immediately swung the shovel again. This time it connected against the side of JJ's head, making her vision blur. That momentary lapse gave him enough time to swing again and hit her hip, making her fall over. Everything was still blurry and she had a terrible headache, but she ignored the protest from her body and got to her feet again.

"Wow…I forgot how much fight you have, Jen. It's delightful." Shane chuckled.

"You're…you're a monster." JJ's spoke slowly because her head was still throbbing. She felt like the world was still spinning. As he swung for another blow to her head she managed to duck away from it, but he quickly brought it back around to hit her on her side. She coughed and then he swung it again to make the metal collide with the side of her face. The last hit made her fall over again for the second time.

"Pathetic." Shane said powerfully. She heard his footsteps walking towards her, probably to finish her off, but at least she had the security of knowing that she had helped those kids escaped. She was the reason they were alive and that was enough to give her comfort despite the pain that came from the next few painful kicks that he aimed at her midsection. He pulled her off the ground and gave her a hard punch in the face, but she didn't even bother to open her eyes let alone fight back. She fell to the ground again in a powerless heap. Before he started to attack her again she heard him let out a screech. What was happening? To answer her own question she opened her good eye to a squint. Shane struggling against something…someone. Her vision was still blurred. It took a few blinks for it to finally clear a little bit and for her to realize what was going on.

Shane was hunched over, struggling to get a small girl off of his back. It was Susie. She had come back to help JJ, but unfortunately it didn't prevail. He shook her off easily and then pushed her to the ground where she started to cry from the violent action.

JJ's heart fell at the sound, but she felt too weak to move. She heard Shane pull Susie off of the ground and had to be holding her in a way that she couldn't get away. He forced her back into the house and then a few minutes later he came back and roughly carried JJ inside, back to the room they had started in. Even though he had been violent before, he actually took out the bandage he had promised to bring and then wrapped it around her bullet wound.

"Sorry." She heard him mutter, but it wasn't enough. She would never forgive him. He lifted her off the ground and laid her down on the soft surface of the bed before leaving the two of them alone in the room again.

"JJ…" Susie sounded concerned, but the woman didn't bother to open her eyes. It took too much energy, all she wanted to do in that moment was sleep.

"Hmmm?" JJ asked resignedly.

"I'm sorry." Susie's voice cracked as she started to sob. That made JJ realize that she did need to open her eyes and comfort the girl.

JJ lifted her eyes open and then looked over at Susie. Fatigue washed through her body, but she tried to stay awake. "For what?" She asked curiously. This girl had nothing to be sorry for. She had, after all, just saved a federal agent's life.

"Y-you told me to leave, but w-when I saw you…you were laying on the ground…and you didn't get up. I-I…I had to help. That boy he kept running…he'll get help, right?" Susie sniffed, her small blue eyes were puffy and JJ saw the tear stains on her face.

"Of course. They'll be here soon. We just have to be tough for a couple more days; do you think you can do that?" JJ asked her.

"Yea…" Susie said hesitantly.

"Good. Now come on we should get some sleep." JJ scooted backwards in the bed while trying to ignore the searing pain that the action causing. Hopefully she wouldn't be that sore in the morning. In front of her, Susie climbed into the bed and JJ wrapped her arms around her. The darkness engulfed the pair and neither of them knew what the light of the new day would bring.

"Hotch!" Morgan called, running through the San Francisco Police Department. He pushed through a crowd of officers to reach his unit chief. The man was panting slightly from his urgent jog, but he still tried to convey his message. "T-they found…" he panted, stopping for a moment to catch his breath.

Hotch's expression dropped. Did they find JJ's body? He needed to know right now, "Spit it out, Morgan!" He exclaimed callously.

"They…found…." He was still breathless, "a boy along a dirt road a couple counties over. He's the boy who was abducted early yesterday. He claims that he escaped from the unsub." He explained quickly with eagerness coursing through his veins. They had _finally _found something.

Hotch's eyes lit up. "Get him down here."

"He's already on his way."

This surprised Hotch. "Good. Thanks Morgan, let me know when he gets here." He walked into the room where the evidence board was. On it's surface was a picture of the first couple victims, Susie, JJ and the boy they had just discovered, Luke. The unit chief's eyes rested on JJ's picture, he recognized it from somewhere, but he wasn't completely sure. All he knew was that then, she had been happy. The smile on her face expressed that perfectly and the cheerfulness that glowed in her eyes made the corners of Hotch's mouth bend upwards. He didn't know why, but he'd always felt a connection with JJ. They both had a lot in common; they both had kids, they had both lost someone close to them, they were both always the last two people in the offices at night and she seemed to have the same passion in this line of work that he did. That link they had together always made him oddly protective over her, but now? His mouth returned to its normal frown. He'd failed his job, but no matter what it took he _would_ get her back. It was his responsibility and he wasn't going to fail her again. Not at a time like this.

There was a knock on the door before Reid joined him in the room. "Hotch, Luke Hannagan just got here with his parents. Morgan is in the room right now, but hasn't started questioning yet." He explained swiftly.

Hotch nodded at his comment without taking his eyes off the board. He crossed his arms over his just and then replied, "I'll be there."

Reid turned to leave, but right before he reached the door he faced Hotch again. "You miss her, don't you?" He asked.

"What ever happened to the 'don't profile your team members' rule Reid?" Hotch retorted with an aggravated edge on his voice.

"It's okay to miss people, Hotch." Reid answered, ignoring the unit chief's other stubborn answers, "We all miss her and…I know you two were close so it's okay to miss her and it's okay to let people in." He sighed and turned around to leave again.

"I do miss her." Hotch said just as Reid made it to the doorway for the second time. "I keep sitting here and thinking that the one person who could help us figure this out is JJ. She always brings the new perspective, you know?" He sighed, "I just wish that I could help her somehow, but right now…we don't have anything…"

"Yes we do." Reid replied, "We have everything…we just need to figure out how it fits together and when we do…we'll get her back."

Another sigh escaped Hotch's lips before he turned around. "Alright…let's go and see what Luke can tell us." He walked out of the room after Reid and the two profilers walked into the room outside of the interrogation room where they watch the questioning through the two-way mirror. Morgan was sitting across from a small blonde boy and a tired, tear-stricken blonde woman sitting next to him. They both assumed that this was Luke and his mom. A few moments after their arrival, Morgan walked out of the room and up to Hotch for instructions.

"Just ask him basic questions. Figure out where he was, who took him, if JJ and Susie were alive, and how he got away." Hotch ordered quickly.

Morgan seemed to have gotten it all and he walked back into the other room to join Luke and his mother again. On the other side of the mirror, Hotch and Reid were listening for anything that stuck out to them as important.

"Alright Luke we're ready to start." Morgan smiled unthreateningly. He glanced down at the case file, "It says here that you were taken in the supermarket. How did that happen?" He asked.

"My mom went to go check out and I had to use the bathroom. Once I finished and started to leave someone grabbed me from behind. He must have taken me out the back way thought because no one saw anything." Luke explained. This boy seemed very well-spoken.

"Where did he take you?"

Luke's eyebrows creased in thought. "He put a blindfold on me so I couldn't see, but from the supermarket it was a pretty long drive. Longer than back to my house and longer than the drive here. I think it was more than an hour." He told them.

"When you got there, what happened?"

"The man took me out of the car and grabbed me by the back of my neck. He started to lead me somewhere when I heard footsteps coming behind us and then there was a crash and the man let go of my neck." Luke started, "A few seconds later…someone pulled my blindfold off. It was a woman…she was blonde and had really pretty blue eyes. She looked at me and then yelled at me to run, so I did. A girl followed me, she was blonde too. We both heard fighting in the background as we ran and we both turned around for a second. The man, he was blonde too, was fighting the blonde woman. He swung the shovel, but missed and she threw a flower pot at him. He swung the shovel again and hit her in the head and then a second time…somewhere else. She was down for a few seconds, but then got up again." He explained, "I told the girl we needed to keep running so we went a little further, but she turned around again to look. This time when we looked back…the man hit the woman in the side and face with the shovel. She fell and didn't get up. She just laid there and I thought she was dead, but I knew we had to keep going. I was gonna tell the girl to come, but she started running back to the house. I hid behind a tree because we were far enough away and watched what happened. The man was kicking the woman over and over, but she didn't move at all and then he picked her up and hit her in the face. She hit the ground hard after that and still didn't move. The girl I had been with was back by then and she jumped on the man's back. It wasn't long before he had shaken her off and took her back inside. A few minutes later he took the woman inside again too." He sighed and stared at the table. "I ran after that…and didn't look back."

Morgan was speechless for a moment.

Reid looked at Hotch, "Is JJ dead?"

"I don't know, Reid…" Hotch paused. "I just don't know."

* * *

**"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."**

Albert Einstein


	11. Chapter 11

**Sorry that this is a short chapter, but it was supposed to be like that. I think it sounds better that way too and it's also better than no update at all. Hope you like it :) I'll probably update again soon.**

* * *

**"If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together. There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we're apart... I'll always be with you."  
**Christopher Robin

* * *

He didn't like being away from her, he didn't like the feeling of not knowing, and most definitely did _not_ like the fact that she was in the hands of a psychopath. She was, well, she was everything to him. He couldn't live without her or raise their son without her. He kept trying to convince himself that everything was going to be okay, that _she_ was going to be okay, but he knew what serial killers could do and this one was killing _children_. There was no way that he was in the right mind and now he had the most important person in Will's life; JJ.

Hotch had told Will to stay home after he, with Henry, had organized to fly out to San Francisco to get any news as quick as possible. Now he felt like he was cut off and helpless. There was nothing he could do to help her right now, except take care of their son…and wait, but he found that less helpful. Being back at their apartment just made him think even more about her and what could be happening to her. He picked up his phone and decided to call.

It rang a few times before Hotch finally answered. "Hello?" He heard on the other end.

"Hotch? It's Will. Have you guys found anything?" Will asked hopefully. He felt powerless.

"Actually a boy escaped from the man she was with." Hotch started, but from the tone he was using the subject didn't seem too hopeful. "He said that she made a distraction so that both the kids could escape."

A surge of pride went through Will.

"But he ended up winning the fight and beating her up pretty bad. One of the kids, a girl, apparently went back to help her and they were both taken back inside."

"Did he say how bad the fight was?"

"It was bad Will…" Hotch answered almost immediately.

"Did he at least tell you where the house was?"

"We know that it's about an hour away, but he was blindfolded so that's all we have. We're getting closer now…this was just a start. Don't worry, Will. We'll find her." Hotch promised, but it didn't sound sincere.

"So that's all? It's been three days and that's all you have?!" Will exclaimed angrily.

"We actually-" Hotch stopped abruptly. "What?" He was talking to someone, but Will couldn't hear who. "Where?"

"Hotch! What is going on?" Will asked, even more heated now.

"A 911 call came in from JJ's cell. She's not talking though…it's the little girl. I have to go Will. I'll let you know later." Hotch hung up.

Will started pacing and shook his head. He couldn't wait anymore. He had to get to San Francisco with Henry. They needed to know what was going on.

"Daddy?" A small voice sounded from the hallway.

Will was snapped out of his phase. He turned his head to look over at the small boy who looked so much like his mother. "Yea little man?" He lifted Henry up so that the boy was sitting on his lap. He smiled brightly despite his true emotions.

His eyes were big, "When's mommy coming home? She's been gone too long!" He whined and then let out a distressed, overly dramatic sigh.

"You know the bad guys? Well this one is in an extra good hiding spot so they have to look a little longer." Will explained in kid-language.

Henry nodded. "I just want her to come home now…" He looked down at the ground for a few seconds.

"So do I, but guess what? We're gonna go visit your aunts and uncles." Will told him as he carried him upstairs to start packing for the trip they were going to take.

"Why won't mommy be with them?" Henry asked with disappointment clear in his voice. He really wanted to see his mom.

"The bad guy took mommy to his hiding spot."

"She's with the bad guy?" Henry was confused.

"Yes Henry, but she's still a good guy. She's just with the bad guy to try and turn him into a good guy." Will lied, twisting the story a little bit so that it was less scary for Henry. The last thing he wanted was for Henry to know that his mom was in the hands of a bad guy without any defense.

"So she's under the covers?" Henry asked using the word completely wrong.

Will smiled. "Undercover? Yes, but don't worry she'll come back. She always comes back, right buddy?" He asked grinning.

"Right daddy."

* * *

**"When I despair, I remember that all through history the way of truth and love have always won. There have been tyrants and murderers, and for a time, they can seem invincible, but in the end, they always fall. Think of it-always."**

Mahatma Ghandi


	12. Chapter 12

"**None of us knows what might happen even the next minute, yet still we go forward. Because we trust. Because we have Faith."**

Paul Coelho

* * *

**_Hello, this is 911. What is your emergency?_**

_Umm…hello?_

**_Hello, ma'am. This is 911 please state your emergency._**

_She won't wake up. _

**_Who?_**

…

**_Ma'am? Is she breathing?_**

…_.Yes. _

**_Where are you? I can send EMS if you just give me your location. _**

_What do we do?! She won't wake up! _

**_Who? Who won't wake up?_**

_Can you please just tell me what we need to do?_

**_How old are you? Is there an adult there who can help you?_**

_Yes, but he doesn't know what to do either. We need to do something now!_

**_You need to check her ABC's; Airway, Breathing and Circulation. Make sure they're all intact. Can you do that for me…?_**

_Susie._

**_Can you do that for me, Susie?_**

_Yes._

**…**

_She's all good, but she hit her head pretty hard a couple hours ago and…lost a lot of blood._

**_She did? What happened?_**

_She fell. _

**_What's her name?_**

_Jennifer, but I call her JJ…Oh-Oh no. I wasn't supposed to tell you that._

**_Why?_**

…

**_Susie?_**

…

**_Are you there?_**

_I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! It just slipped out. [inaudible man voice in the background]_

**_Who else is there, Susie?_**

_No one. [sniff] What were you saying?_

**_Ummm…well then it's most likely just from fatigue. She will probably wake up soon and at that time you will want to give her plenty of fluids and nutrition. Make sure she gets rest and that you ask her a few basic questions to test for lucidity. _**

_Lud…iticy?_

_**See if her brain is still working right.** _

_Oh…okay._

**_Do you want me to call EMS? They can be there within a few minutes if you need them-_**

_No. We don't need them. _

**_Oh…alright. _**

_Thank you. _

"This call came in about an hour ago from JJ's phone. As you have probably already pieced together; the little girl talking is Susie. She was abducted one day before JJ was taken." Garcia explained while staring up at the screen.

"It's obvious that he was listening in on the call and telling her what to say." Hotch said, "But why?"

"Well JJ wasn't waking up and he couldn't lose her so he knew they needed help. The key was that they couldn't give away their location or identity. He has complete control." Reid sighed and shook his head. Things looked bleak.

"Well…at least now we know that JJ is alive." Morgan tried.

"But isn't waking up." Emily added staring down at the table. What did that mean? Would she ever wake up?

"You heard the operator. She said that she'd wake up soon. We can't keep thinking like this; more evidence will come in time…we just have to wait on it, okay everyone?" Rossi cut in.

"Actually…" Garcia started, clicking a button. "This call came in 30 minutes ago from the same phone. A different operator answered though."

_**911, what is your emergency?** _

_My name is Susie._

**_What is happening, Susie?_**

_I've been taken by a man…and he's holding us in this house. _

**_Us?_**

_JJ and me._

**_Who is JJ?_**

_She's my friend…he hit her so hard that her brain stopped working. He made me call earlier, but I kept the phone. He doesn't know. _

**_Do you have any idea where you are?_**

_No. _

**_Are there any windows?_**

_Yes. _

**_Can you look out of them?_**

_Yes. _

**_What do you see?_**

_A dirt road that's really long. I can't see where it ends. It looks like a farm. _

**_Are there any cars in the driveway?_**

_One. It's a green truck. _

**_Can you see the license plate?_**

_No._

**_Okay, that's fine. You're doing great Susie. How did you get the phone?_**

_He gave it to me and told me to call 911 because JJ was hurt. He didn't know how to help her. _

**_Was he the one who hurt JJ?_**

_Yes._

**_How?_**

_He hit her…over and over. _

**_Is JJ awake?_**

_Yes, but she's in the bathroom. _

**_What's she doing?_**

_She's sick. _

**_Sick?_**

_Throwing up. _

**_Is she finished yet? Can I talk to her?_**

_Hold on…_

**…**

_[cough] Hello?_

**_Is this…JJ?_**

_Yes…Jennifer Jareau. We're being held hostage in a small house on a farm. I'm not sure of our exact location though. _

**_How did this man take you?_**

_I was taking part in an investigation and I went in without backup. He shot me before the rest of my team got there and I guess he must have taken an interest in me because he took me to wherever we are now. _

**_Are you a police officer?_**

_I'm an FBI agent. I work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit. _

**_Oh. Do you need me to-_**

_Get a message to Aaron Hotchner. Tell him that time is running down. If they're gonna crack this case it needs to be soon because Shane can see that I'm running low…and it won't be long before he needs a replacement. _

**_I'll see that it gets to him. What is it that this man wants?_**

_A family. He wants us to be his makeshift family. _

**_Alright, what's your rank?_**

_I'm a Communications Liaison. _

**_And what is your current condition, Agent Jareau?_**

_Umm…GSW to the shoulder. It missed all organs, but I think it hit a muscle or maybe a tendon. A few broken ribs, black eye, probably a minor concussion, ummm a dislocated elbow and a maybe a broken cheekbone. _

**_And the girl? What's her condition?_**

_Not a scratch. She's fine._

**_Have there been any opportunities for escape?_**

_There's an open window, but it only leads to an electric fence. There's no way past it and the other way out is through the door which he locks with his own personal key. We tried to escape already, but it only resulted in further injury._

**_Would you categorize your situation as dangerous?_**

_Earlier I wouldn't have, but now…yes. I would call it dangerous. It's highly sensitive and neither of us ever know when or if he's going to explode. _

**_Who has taken you?_**

_Shane Greene. My team already knows this. Contact them, but listen. Shane is going to be coming back soon so do NOT call back under any circumstances, but tell my team that I may be able to get into contact with them later if I have the opportunity.. _

_**I will. Good luck, Agent.** _

_Thank you. _

"So what does this mean?" Morgan asked, sitting back. "JJ's obviously not in good shape, but this is all we have to go on. If we're gonna find her soon we have to make a breakthrough." He ran his hand over his smooth head.

"We need to dig more into Shane's past. I'll call Garcia and get her to send us his files. We need to go through those." Hotch picked up his phone and started to walk out of the room. "Oh and everyone keep your phones on, JJ could be calling at any moment." With that he left the room.

Reid was sitting up stiffly in his chair, looking down at his phone on the table as if he expected it to ring in that very moment or at least hoped that it would. His face was pale and he looked like he was about to throw up.

"Reid?" Prentiss asked when she saw his facial expression.

"Hmmm?" He didn't look at her. His eyes were glued to the phone.

"Are you okay? You look like you're going to be sick." Prentiss touched his shoulder gently in a soothing way, but it wasn't much help. He only pulled his shoulder away, picked up his phone and got up out of his chair.

"Fine." He muttered as he left the room with his head down.

Prentiss looked over at Rossi for some input. There was a hurt expression in her eyes.

"It's not you." Rossi shook his head. "It's just Reid and JJ…you know? I guess since they're so close its hitting him harder than normal and he doesn't know how to handle it." He shrugged.

"It's hitting us all harder than normal." Prentiss pointed out, receiving a nod from Rossi and Morgan. "I think JJ is just one of those people who can make an impact on anyone she meets…" She shook her head.

"That's why Shane took her." Morgan muttered.

"And that's how we'll get her back." Prentiss added, "_She's_ our motivation to figure this out."

Hotch walked back in with a stack of files in his arms. "Alright everyone. Let's get started." He set them down on the table and everyone, including Reid who had rejoined the group, took one and started to read.

It had been a few hours and everyone had finished reading the files. After that they just discussed the contents out loud only to find out that there was still nothing that could really help them. All of their heads shot up as the door flew open.

"Will someone please tell me what the hell is happening to my wife?" Will practically yelled at the profilers between his pants. He looked like a mess. He had bags under his eyes and he was sweating and panting heavily.

"Will? I told you not to come." Hotch said firmly. "Where's Henry?"

"With me." Garcia stepped through the doorway with JJ's son on her hip. "I couldn't just sit back in my office and wait for you guys to figure this out so when I found out Will was coming…I hopped on the _private jet_, very nice by the way, and flew here."

"Garcia you had no right to-" Hotch was cut off by the ring of a phone. It became dead silent in the room.

Reid's phone was ringing on the table. He stared at it wide-eyed for a moment before answering. "Hello?" He asked with a thumping heart.

_Reid?_

"J-JJ?"

* * *

"**I don't think of all the misery, but of the beauty that still remains."**

Anne Frank


	13. Chapter 13

**"Growth in love comes from a place of absence, where the imagination is left to it's own devices and creates you to be much more then reality would ever allow."**

Coco J. Ginger

* * *

_Yea…it's me. Are you okay? You don't sound good._

"Yea. I'm fine; it's you I'm worried about. How are you holding up?" Reid asked, joy surging through his system. She was alive, she was responsive and she still had her same old compassionate personality.

_That's what I called you guys about. Am I on speaker?_

Reid pressed a button and nodded to the rest of the team. "You are now." He replied to her, not being able to control the smile that he felt creeping onto his face. He was so happy that she was okay even if it was temporary.

_Hey guys. It's me, JJ if Reid didn't already tell you. I need your help because right now…I have nothing left to go on. _

"Okay well we're all here, JJ. Just tell us what you need." Hotch spoke now.

_I-I'm in pretty bad shape and…we need to find a way out, soon. _

"I'm assuming he locks the doors and windows?" Prentiss asked, trying to get some background on where she was.

_No. One of the windows is unlocked, but there's a fence back there…an electric fence that is controlled with this little remote-controlled box thing. Point is: There's no way out. What I need you guys to do is figure out where we are. I can tell you…after he shot me I passed out, but I woke up later in the car and we passed an airport. I'm sure of it. _

"An airport?" Reid asked, thinking of the map of San Francisco that he knew. He thought of what could be seen near it. "Did you see letters on the side of a hill? Like the Hollywood sign?" He asked.

_Ummm…_

"It would have said South San Francisco The Industrial City." Reid clarified.

_Yes! Yes. We passed that and then we went over some bumpy roads. We were on those roads for a long time._

"JJ…what is the air like?" Reid asked quickly. He felt like he was onto something.

_What is the air like? What kind of a question is that, Reid?_

"When you first got to the place you're in, was it hard for you to breathe?"

_Yea, but I did have a bullet wound in the shoulder so that was probably what was causing it. Why? What are you thinking, Reid?_

"I'm not thinking. Now I'm sure, you're in the mountains JJ. He must have some kind of rural house up in the San Bruno Mountains!" Reid exclaimed with excitement. He was glad that the investigation was at least kind of taking off now.

"Garcia, go check and see if any of the properties up there are linked to Shane Greene in any way." Hotch ordered.

_Garcia is there?_

"Yes, gumdrop. You didn't think I'd be sitting back in Virginia at a time like this, did you? You're my girl!" Garcia smiled and set Henry down on the ground before leaving the room to go check on what Hotch had told her to.

"Oh and JJ?" Reid asked, listening to make sure that she was still there.

_Yea?_

"Your elbow…if it's dislocated the pain may be a lot more tolerable if you just put it back in place." Reid informed her, having read that somewhere in a book.

_I-ummm…._

She seemed reluctant, but Reid knew it was the best thing for her. "All you have to do is get Susie to pull your wrist while holding your shoulder in place. Tell her to pull as hard as she can." He persisted.

_No…we can't do that right now. No._

"Be strong, JJ. You'll be more helpful to Susie if you have the use of that arm. Think about it." Reid pushed harder.

_I'll think about it….I miss you Spence. I miss all of you guys, but I think things are starting to wrap up. Something is going to happen soon…I can feel. Whether it's going to be good or bad…I don't know, but it's something. _

"Just be careful." Morgan cut in. "Don't take any unnecessary risks."

_I know…I know. Do what it takes to survive, but don't do anything that will put you in danger. Trust me…I know the drill, but now…it just feels so different. We have to get out of here soon. _

"Mommy?" Henry started a completely new conversation with his mother, walking to the phone.

_Hey baby. _

"When are you coming home?" He sounded disappointed, pleading even. It was easy to tell that the boy was missing his mom, but who could blame him?

_Soon, Henry. Don't worry I'll be home soon. _

"Hey Cher."

_Will._

"JJ…I-I love you...so much. Please be safe for me, okay? For me and Henry." He pleaded with her, knowing that she would do whatever it took to get the girl out unless she was told different. "I need the love of my life back…and Henry needs his mom."

_I know. I love you guys too and I'll see you soon, okay? I miss you all so much, but I think I have to go now though because Shane will be back soon. I love all of you. Spence…figure this out for me okay and Emily please make sure that Hotch and Morgan don't strangle any police officers or punch holes through walls while I'm gone. And Rossi…keep them all in line. I'll trust you with that. Don't worry guys; everything is going to be fine. _

_JJ! He's coming!_

_I have to go. I love you guys. _

"Bye JJ." Will said just before the call cut off. There was a long pause of silence between the whole group. They were all thinking about JJ, but all different things. The point was…

"We have to get her back." Will said out loud what they were all thinking.

"We will." Hotch walked out of the room with a new determination in his step. They w_ould _find her_ and_ that little girl alive.

* * *

"Alright." JJ said to Susie as she hung up the phone. "Go hide this in the bathroom, okay? And stay in there while I talk to Shane." She told the girl while standing firmly in the middle of the room waiting for him.

Susie nodded and ran into the bathroom with the phone.

The door swung open. "Hey babe." Shane walked straight up to JJ and pressed his body against hers so forcefully that she almost lost her balance. "How's your day been?" His face was inches from hers, making it easy for her to smell his breath.

"Have you been drinking, _sweetie?"_ She asked between her teeth. This was not good, a psychopath was bad, but a drunken psychopath was even worse. Deadly even.

"I just stopped by the bar on the way home. I figured that it would make _you_ a lot more fun to be around. No offense, but you've been kind of boring lately. You need to get that fire back in you or things are going to end a lot quicker than either of us want." Shane rolled his eyes. "Now let's get this party started." He reached down and started to unbutton her shirt.

JJ closed her eyes for a moment and then built up enough courage to slap him across the face. Not only did it stop the sickening process, it also made him back away from her. The only bad thing was that he seemed to be amused. He grabbed her by her wrists and she was ashamed at how weak she seemed to be. Even thought he was gripping her with one hand on each wrist she couldn't pull away.

"Finally! That's what I'm talking about. This is why I chose you…I like that aggressiveness that you have. It's sexy." Shane winked at her. "Look," he muttered, "I'm not going to rape you. That's not what I want, but I do want to check on your bullet wound." He reached out and pulled the shoulder of her shirt down. A bandage was covering it, but he pulled it up halfway to examine the wound underneath. "You're good." He muttered. "Where's the kid?"

"She's in the bathroom, taking a bath." JJ lied convincingly while still trying, with no prevail, to pull her wrists our of his grasp. She quickly stopped though because pain was radiating from her elbow.

"Alright." Shane rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to find our son, but it's getting kind of hard with so many cops around so it may be a few days. I hope that's okay." He kissed her forcefully on the lips, but she only pushed him away. He let go of one of her wrists and slapped her only causing her, stubbornly, to claw his cheek and leave behind a series of scratch marks. "You little…" He didn't say the last word.

JJ kicked him in the shin and then, with the only strength she had left, she punched him in the cheek. He caught himself just before he fell, but that gave her enough time to kick him in the stomach. This was their chance. He fell in a heap on the ground. If she could just get him unconscious…Her eyes caught the lamp in the corner.

Susie walked back in at the exact moment when JJ brought the lamp down on Shane's head. He fell, lifeless, on the ground. "J-JJ?" She asked, staring with wide eyes down at his body.

JJ dropped the lamp by his body and then held out her hand. "Come on Susie. We have to go right now." She bent down and grabbed the key to the door our of Shane's pocket.

Susie ran over and grabbed JJ's hand before the pair sprinted out of the room for a second time and out of the house. Now the only thing they had to do…was climb down a mountain without Shane catching up to them. They were going to need a whole lot of luck.

* * *

**"Here's the thing about luck...you don't know if it's good or bad until you have some perspective."**

Alice Hoffman


	14. Chapter 14

"**The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding."**

Albert Camus

* * *

"Son of a-" He looked around the room quickly only to see that it was empty and the door was wide open. "Damn it!" He shoved his hand into his pocket and sure enough, the key to the door was missing. They had escaped, but a smile still came to Shane's face because he knew that there was no way they could get very far in these thick forests. All he would have to do was hop into his car and start driving. He pushed himself off the ground which made his head throb violently. As the pain surged through him he told himself that when he found them that woman was going to die. No questions asked. He liked feisty, but she was just too much too much for him to handle. As he grabbed his car keys he noticed that the sun was starting to set so he also grabbed the flashlight sitting on the coffee table. In his car there was a map of the mountain so it would be easy to find places where he thought they could sleep for the night. These girls were naïve if they thought they could escape him that easily. He wasn't the type to give up.

Shane climbed into his car and almost instantly got an idea. On his phone with a few simple clicks he downloaded the sound of a siren. It was easy to hook it up to his car speakers and roll down the windows so that it sounded like a cop car. This was a simple way to get them to come out. He drove down the road slowly, shining his flashlight through the trees. He wasn't seeing anything at first. Maybe they'd gotten farther down the mountain than he'd previously expected. He turned up the siren noise and kept his hopes high.

* * *

"My feet hurt!" Susie complained as she started to slow down and fall behind. They had both been walking for what seemed like hours. When they had first started the sun had been up, but now it had already set so JJ picked up their pace. She wanted to get a good distance away from Shane's house before settling down for the night.

"Come on. Be strong, okay? We only have to walk for a little bit longer." JJ reassured the girl, taking her hand and pulling her along through the woods. It was getting harder and harder to see the things around her. There were countless times when she tripped over roots and branches, but was too weak to catch herself so she just fell helplessly into the brush. Every time Susie had helped her up. She really was a sweet little girl.

"Alright." JJ shook her head after falling another time. It was starting to frustrate her and she was panting heavily from the physical exhaustion. "We can stop now, but we have to get up early tomorrow and keep moving. By the end of the day you should be with you mom again." She smiled warmly at the thought.

Susie hugged JJ in excitement. "Yay!" She exclaimed and then they settled down together against a tree. They were worn out so it was easy for sleep to overcome the both of them…until JJ woke up to a familiar sound. Sirens. They had finally come. She gently shook the little girl who was sleeping next to her.

"Susie!" She whispered rapidly as the sirens got closer. "Wake up! My friends are here! We're going to get home early." She got to her feet and pulled the tired girl up with her. They had to stop them from going all the way back down the mountain. It was now or never.

The sirens sounded really close now and upon hearing the noise louder, Susie became wide awake. The pair ran to the road and waited there until headlights came into view.

"Oh no." It only took JJ a moment to realize that the car traveling towards them was not a cop car. It was Shane's truck. She shook her head and hurried, with Susie, back into the brush. "It's him Susie." She explained in a whisper. "If he comes over here I want you to stay hidden and whatever happens _do not _come out. If I tell you to run, you run. Go towards the lights until you reach them, okay?" She said with urgency, knowing that their journey together was about to come to an end.

* * *

There she was. Even if it was for a split second, Shane was sure that he had seen his "wife" in the middle of the street holding hands with their daughter. He turned the siren off, picked up his flashlight and then, with his keys, exited the car. It was time to end this. For good. He shined his flashlight through the bushes slowly for any sign of threat. Jennifer was full of surprises and right now he really wasn't in the mood. "Jen…where are you? I just came to give you a ride back." He tried to pull of the friendly thing again. It wasn't a good act for him.

Shane decided to stop in his tracks and listen for a few minutes. Maybe they were already running and he had been too busy talking to hear them take off. As time passed with no sounds, he concluded that they had to be hiding somewhere so he carried on with his search through the shrubbery of the woods. "Jen? Susie?" He called into the darkness unproductively. He knew that they were most likely not going to respond, but it was worth a shot.

That was when he heard it. A shuffle in the bushes. It was slight and barely audible, but in the silence of the night it was heard as clear as day. He walked towards it while making sure to be ready for anything. When he shined the flashlight into the bush the beam reflected off two sets of blonde hair. It was them, but before he could charge Jennifer was already getting up. It looked like she was weak and having trouble getting to her feet so he knew this was going to be an easy fight…or at least he thought it was going to be. She walked out of the bush slowly with her hands up as if to surrender, but he knew that this couldn't be her true purpose. Why would she go through all of that just to give up? Exactly. She wouldn't. This was a trick of some sort. "Jen. I'm so glad your deciding to give this all up and come back to me." He smiled, playing along with her charade.

Jennifer walked towards him with her legs shaking underneath her. She looked like a complete, fatigued, mess. He pitied her. "Please don't kill me." She pleaded.

"What you did was really bad Jennifer. I'm not so sure I can let you completely off the hook this time." Shane stared at her small frame and watched as she neared him. The pain he saw glowing in her eyes made him feel bad for her. Maybe he didn't have to hurt her even more since she was already in pain.

"I…I just wanted to go home." Tears came to her eyes and that was it. He could watch Jennifer cry…somehow, without even knowing it, he had broken her. Maybe now he would finally have all the control.

"Fine." Shane put his arm around Jennifer to help her along. "What about the girl?"

"I lost her on the way down here. I-I don't know where she went." Jennifer's eyes darted back and forth as if she was searching the scenery for the girl.

Shane shook his head. "I saw two people in the bush."

"Nope, just me."

Shane nodded, "Go to the car. I'll be there in a minute I think I dropped my keys somewhere." He told her. He trusted her to follow his orders plus he knew that she was too weak to run at all. Once she left he returned to the bush with his flashlight and searched for the girl. He was sure that he had seen two blonde heads. He was never wrong. As he looked through it, nothing turned up. Maybe it was just a mistake. He sighed, it wouldn't happen again. Twirling his keys through his fingers, he returned to the car with JJ waiting outside of it for him. He saw something in her eyes. That feistiness was back. She had tricked him…again, but as she charged towards him he darted to the back of his truck and pulled something out of the back. A crowbar. This was going to end quickly.

* * *

The Johnsons were a pleasant family that lived at the bottom of the San Bruno Mountains. It was a nice spot for a house. The forests from the mountain were still in range while they were also not separated from the city. In all honesty, it really was the perfect spot to build their home. It was a two story house with large glass windows on the second story to look over the city. The family, two parents and two sons were gathered around the TV watching one of their favorite family shows. While the parents tried to watch TV, the boys argued over one of their toys.

"No! NO! It doesn't go that way Jimmy!" One of the boys complained as the other tried to jam some of their leggo pieces together. They both looked to be around 4 or 5 years old, maybe even twins. The first boy attempted to grab the pieces out of Jimmy's hands.

"Stop!" Jimmy protested, pulling away. "I can figure it out _without _your help." His eyes flashed with anger.

"But you're doing it wrong!" The other boy practically yelled, getting frustrated with his brother now. He would most definitely grow up to be a very stubborn man…they both would. The first boy reached for his brother's pieces again.

"David! Leave. Me. ALONE!" Jimmy yelled into David's face before getting up and moving across the living room so that his brother was a whole coffee table away from him.

"Alright boys, settle down." Mr. Johnson joined the conversation. "David, why don't you go and get your won leggo pieces from your room?" He asked.

"I don't w_ant to!"_ David replied fiercely. "Jimmy's are right here, I want to play with _his!"_ He yelled at his father while crossing his arms over his chest and pouting dramatically. This seemed to be a normal event because Mr. Johnson didn't even flinch.

"David…" His father shook his head disapprovingly. "Be polite."

"_No!"_ David growled at his father. "This isn't fair! I just want to play with Jimmy's leggos. Why doesn't he have to share?"

"Those are his."

"But you make me share my stuff _all the time!"_ David protested heatedly.

"No we don't." His father shook his head.

"YES YOU DO!" David yelled so furiously that his father thought that steam was going to start streaming out of his ears and nose.

"David, calm down before we have to put you in the timeout corner!" Mrs. Johnson scolded in defense of her husband. Before the little boy could respond with an answer that would've, most likely, landed him a spot in the 'timeout corner', there was a knock on their door. Confusion covered each of their faces simultaneously.

"It's 10:00." Mr. Johnson commented as he got up from the couch. Even though it was a Saturday, 10:00 was still late for a visit from someone.

Mrs. Johnson, David and Jimmy all watched as Mr. Johnson walked towards the door. As he got even closer there was another series of frequent knocks. Fear covered Mrs. Johnson's face and she positioned herself in front of her boys. Giving his family a smile of reassurance, Mr. Johnson pulled the door open. At first he didn't see anything until his eyes drifted down. A fairly dirty little girl was standing on his porch.

"C-can you help me?" She sounded cold and scared.

Mr. Johnson shot a glance back at his wife, who nodded before leading the girl into their house. "Call 911." He ordered to his wife. "And Jimmy, go get this little girl a blanket." He told his son when he felt how cold the little girl's skin was. As she sat down, David became curious.

"What's _your _name?" He asked, receiving a glare from his father.

"Susie." She replied slowly. "What's yours?"

"David." He still seemed to be a bit curious, but his father was intrigued now so he didn't cut into their conversation. "How did you get here?"

"I ran."

"From where?"

"I don't know. Up there." Susie pointed upwards towards the San Bruno Mountains.

"Why did you run?" David didn't seem to understand why someone would want to run so far through the woods at this time of night.

"Because I didn't want him to catch up with me."

"Who?" David asked.

Tears filled Susie's eyes. "The man." She replied, shaking her head.

"That's enough, David." Mr. Johnson said. "Will you go get her a cup of water, please?" He asked while his other son brought a blanket up to Susie, who accepted it gratefully. "Don't worry, Susie. The police will be here soon."

"Her friends…"

"Who?"

"Never mind." Susie shook her head, not wanting to delve into that story at that moment. Really, all she wanted to do was sleep, but with the police coming soon she knew she had to fight to stay awake for JJ. Someone had to tell them what happened to her. Someone had to help them find her. _Someone _had to go back for her.

Susie was that someone.

* * *

It was 10:00 and, even though it had been already was starting to take its toll individually on everyone on the team.

Hotch looked ready to rip his hair out. He wasn't sure who he was angry at…maybe it was the world…maybe it was whatever God was up there, but all he knew was that he was angry that this had to happen to her of all people. Why her? He should've been there to protect her. He should have been by her side. It should have been him. Why her? There was no answer.

Emily was solemn. There was something inside of her that was wearing away as time went on. Hope. She felt like they were getting farther and farther from finding whoever was doing this. With every passing hour her hope feigned away only to be replaced with the feeling of helplessness. Her best friend was gone and there was nothing she could do about it.

Rossi had a look in his eye that was exceedingly rare for him. Usually his eyes were glowing with wisdom and thought, but now they were blank…literally. No emotion or thought seemed to be in them. They were empty. He was losing himself in this search…as was everyone.

A mess was the only phrase that could be used to describe Will. Not only was he a physical mess, with messy hair, clothes and a five o'clock shadow, but he was also an emotional mess. Men were supposed to be strong in a situation like this, but JJ was everything to him and not having her close to him or even getting to talk to her made every day awful for him. Controlling his emotions was the least of his worries. He couldn't bear the thought of living without her. She was his girlfriend, the mother of his child, his soul mate and his best friend…she was his and he was hers. That was the way it was supposed to be, but sometimes…life gets in the way.

Morgan

Henry was starting to see that something was wrong. The way that his dad was carrying himself and the way that everyone around him was acting was what clued him in. He wasn't fully sure of what was going on, but what he did know was that his mother was in trouble and that he wanted more than anything for her to be okay.

Reid had just started his sixth cup of coffee for the day, which had started at 7:00 in the morning. He didn't want to sleep, well…he couldn't sleep. Thinking of her and what she could be going through kept him awake at night. No one deserved to go through this. Now Reid got it. He understood what it felt like for all those families who waited anxiously for loved ones to return. The helplessness, the concern, the fear. For the first time in a long time, Reid prayed. He prayed for others, for the poor, for forgiveness, but mostly for JJ…he prayed that her story, unlike a lot of their cases, would have a happy ending.

"Hey." Morgan said, walking into the empty room that Reid had been sitting in. There was urgency in his voice that made Reid become wide awake. "They just found a girl up in the mountains and her name is Susie. We think that it might be the girl that JJ was trapped with. She was taken to the hospital, but she didn't have any injuries so she's coming here with her mom soon." He looked eager. "Come on." He gestured for Reid to follow him to the interrogation room. This was going to be it. After this they would find her. The question was…would she be alive or would they be too late?

* * *

"**It's being here now that's important. There's no past and there's no future. Time is a very misleading thing. All there is ever, is the now. We can gain experience from the past, but we can't relive it; and we can hope for the future, but we don't know if there is one."**

George Harrison


	15. Chapter 15

"**But the world moves on, even when you don't want it to, even when change feels like the end of everything. It never stops. That's harsh and magical and somewhat comforting because nothing is immutable, however much we want it to be. Moments cannot be caught like fossils in amber, ever- perfect, ever-beautiful. They go dark and raw, full of shadows, leaving you with the memories. And the world moves on."**

Ann Aguirre

* * *

Emily was appointed to go in and talk to Susie because Hotch was assuming that she would be more comfortable with a woman. Reid, Morgan, Rossi and Hotch were all watching on the other side of the mirror. Emily started by building trust with the girl, asking her name, telling her that Susie was a pretty name…small things like that. It didn't take long for her to start to feel comfortable around Emily. R

"So…Susie," The questioning was starting, "Can you tell me how you got away?"

Susie's eyes noticeably darkened at that subject. It was easy to see that her mind was working to remember exactly what had happened. "I was in the bathroom hiding the phone when he came in. I could hear them talking, but I didn't come out. The next thing I heard was a thud and when I walked out I saw JJ standing over him. I was terrified because of what happened the first time we tried to escape, but when she said to go…I followed. JJ couldn't run very fast because of her shoulder and her stomach, but she promised that everything would be okay." Her eyes clouded and it looked like she was about to cry. The tears never came. Reid, who had been watching, saw a lot of JJ in that girl especially with the fact that she refused to let her tears fall.

"What happened after that?"

"We jogged for a really long time, but once we couldn't see the house anymore JJ said we could walk. We were walking through the woods and I could tell that she was scared. I don't know why." Susie shrugged.

Reid and Morgan exchanged a knowing look. They both recalled the story that JJ had told them about why she was afraid of the woods. Reid wondered if she had really been joking or not. Reason immediately shut that thought down. She was just afraid of the woods, who knows why.

"We walked for a lot of time." Susie was about to start again when Emily cut in.

"How long? Hours or minutes?" She asked gently.

"Hours. A lot of hours." Susie shook her head. "I told JJ that my feet hurt, but she said we only had to walk a little bit longer until we could stop. After that it started to get darker so JJ kept tripping over things that we couldn't see. She looked like she was hurting a lot. We stopped after that and she told me that I would get to see my mommy again so I was excited." She looked over at her mom, who was seated next to her, and smiled.

Emily nodded and took a moment to comprehend what she had said. "And then…?"

"We fell asleep."

"When did you wake up?"

"JJ woke me up. She she said that her friends were there and I could hear the police car coming. We walked out into the road and waited for them to get there. I saw a car coming and I got excited, but JJ pulled me back into the woods. She said that it was his car and that I should hide no matter what and if she told me to run that I had to this time. I couldn't stop no matter what until I got to the lights that we could see." Susie explained, "He came over to where we were hiding and shined his light. He told us to come out so JJ did, but I stayed where I was because of what she told me. When she walked up to him she looked really sad and she begged him not to kill her. He didn't, but he thought he saw me so I got up as quietly as I could and then went into a different hiding place. After JJ left to go to the car he looked for me in my other hiding spot, but I wasn't there so he left…I heard fighting, but I knew that I had to leave. I ran as fast as I could away from the sounds. I could hear JJ…I knew she was losing the fight, but…I just kept running." She was clearly guilty.

"You did the right thing, Susie." Emily nodded. "Do you remember what the house you were in looked like?" She asked hopefully.

"Yes."

"Alright. Can you describe it for me?" Emily got out a pen and paper to right down what the girl was saying.

"It was white with only one floor and there was a barn in the backyard. It looked like a farm, but I didn't see any animals." Susie explained. "There were no trees around the house and it had a fence around the back that made a buzzing noise."

"Okay." Emily scribbled it all down. "Now let's go back for one more moment. When you were running away after Shane and JJ went back to the car…what did you hear?" She asked narrowing her eyes. They had to know if JJ was still alive.

"I heard them fighting and I heard something that sounded like glass cracking. The last thing I heard was JJ's scream. I don't know what happened to her, but I heard her scream and I kept running." Tears were sliding down Susie's face and her mother cradled her.

Emily nodded looking back at the mirror. All she saw was her reflection, but she knew the men were on the other side. The possibility of JJ being alive seemed dim.

"Are you her friends?"

"What?" Emily turned around to look at the girl curiously.

"Are you the friends that JJ was talking about?" Susie was staring at Emily with big blue eyes.

"Yes."

"She talked a lot about you guys and how great you were." Susie smiled a little bit. "She said you were coming. The whole time when we were waiting she said you were going to come." Susie looked at Emily sadly. "I miss her."

"JJ?"

Susie nodded, "She was really nice and really brave. I was always so scared, but she wasn't. She wasn't afraid of anything." She smiled.

"She's always been that way." Emily smiled. "And just remember that _because _she's nice and _because _she's brave she will make it out. That's the way I think of it." She told the little girl.

Susie smiled, but it didn't stay long. "I wish she was here."

"I do too."

* * *

"**If you don't get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don't want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can't hold on to it forever."**

Dan Millman


	16. Chapter 16

"**All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride."**

Sophocles

* * *

"She said that the house was white with one floor. Might have been a farm, she's not sure." Emily recited what Susie had told her to Garcia. "Does that narrow down the search?" She asked optimistically.

"Not by much."

"So there are no residences owned by the Greene family?" Emily asked, hopeful that maybe Garcia had missed something. That just this once the technical analyst had made a minor mistake that could potentially break the case wide open for them.

"None." Her voice was dull, not like the usual Garcia.

"Hey, what's wrong? Do you need me to come up there?" Emily asked, now concerned for her friend. This case was coming down hard on everyone, even Garcia. _Especially_ Garcia.

"No. I just…" Garcia trailed off and stayed silent for one long minute. "I want her back, Emily. I can't even imagine what's happening to her and I know she puts on a brave face for everyone, but what if she's not as tough as she looks. I mean, this is JJ we're talking about. She'll try her hardest, but how much can she take?"

"I'm coming up there." Emily hung up the phone and started to make her way up the catwalk. She glanced over at saw Susie walking up to Henry. She stopped where she was and watched their interaction.

"Hi! I'm Henry, what's your name?" Henry grinned widely and held out a hand to his new friend, probably something that his dad had taught him. It was adorable.

Susie eyed his hand, warily before shaking it. She obviously wasn't used to doing things like that. "I'm Susie." She recognized his name, "I know your mom."

"You do?"

"Yea. She's super nice and really pretty." She nodded and looked down at the leggos that he had been playing with. "Can I play?"

Henry tilted his head. "But you're a girl…"

"Girls are just as good as boys." Susie protested, putting some of the leggos together.

Henry rolled his eyes and muttered something about cooties. He bent down next to her and started putting them together too. "Where did you see my mommy? She hasn't been home for a long time." He sighed.

Emily bit her lip, praying that Susie wouldn't tell Henry about JJ's situation. He didn't need to know about that yet.

"She helped me get away from a bad guy." Susie told him, smiling. "Miss. Emily said that she'll be back soon."

"Good." Henry grinned.

Will was also talking to Susie's mom. They also seemed to be having a pleasant conversation and eventually they both made their way back to their children.

"Hey buddy, how would you like it if Susie and her mom came with us to dinner?" Will asked, lifting his son off of the ground.

Henry glanced back at Susie. "Okay!" He exclaimed, giving her a big smile.

Emily smiled a little bit at that and then carried on to Garcia's layer. She knocked as a warning before walking into the room. The analyst was typing hastily on the computer, but it must not have been important because when the door opened she turned away from the computer. Her eyes were puffy and there were tear stains on her face.

"Hey…" Garcia looked at Emily with a sad smile.

Emily smiled back, "Hey." She sat down in the chair next to Garcia's. There was a short, well-needed silence between the women to just acknowledge and appreciate the other's presence.

"I think we all really take her for granted." Garcia muttered, shaking her head. "She does so much and…she doesn't deserve any of this." More tears raced down her cheeks. "I feel like the only reason we can't find her is because we're trying so hard."

Emily nodded. "I know…" She sighed, "But we can't give up…we have to keep looking."

Garcia nodded, "Can you stay though? I like having some company, especially at a time like this." Her eyes were still glistening.

"Yea, of course." Emily face the computers and watched Garcia's fingers dance along the keyboard with ease. On the screen, things were popping up left and right. Looking at all of the family records and names gave Emily an idea. "Hey Garcia…?"

"Hmm?" Garcia barely acknowledged her.

"Did you check for residences on the Shane's mom's side of the family? They would have a different last name." Emily asked just to clarify.

"His mom's side?" Garcia shook her head and turned back to the screen to get the information. "Nothing's turning up so far…" Her eyes were scanning the screen quickly until something caught her eye. "Wait…"

"What?"

"I've got something." Garcia clicked some buttons. "It's a white house in the San Bruno Mountains with one story and a barn in the back yard." She looked over at Emily with wide eyes.

"That's it!" Emily remembered the girl saying something about a barn being in the back yard of the house she had been trapped in. That was where JJ was. She was sure of it. They'd finally done it! They'd cracked the case.

"Emily!" Garcia snapped her out of her thoughts, "Go get Hotch!"

* * *

The long, rough drive up the mountain had been tense and silent. No one dared to talk. All of their minds were pre-occupied on thoughts of JJ. Their favorite memories and experiences with her. No one of them knew what was ahead so they only chose to think about what had already happened.

Reid almost wanted to smile at the thought of all of the time he'd spent with her. He'd even had a small crush on her before she'd met Will. When they'd first met, he remembered completely embarrassing himself.

"_Hi. I'm Agent Jareau, but most people call me JJ. I don't think we've met yet. I'm going to be accompanying you guys as a Communications Liaison on a couple of cases." The woman in front of him was stunning. She had straight blonde hair and bright blue eyes, not to mention the nice hourglass figure that she maintained. _

_Reid smiled at her. They had met before, figures that she wouldn't remember it. He hadn't spoken much; Morgan took care of that for him. "I'm Dr. Reid…well, Spencer Reid. I guess." He smiled nervously at her, rubbing his sweaty hand against his pants._

_JJ smiled, "Doctor?" _

"_I have a couple of doctorates." Reid shrugged like it was no big deal. _

"_You must be smart." JJ narrowed her eyes, examining him. "Actually, I think I've heard about you before, the genius right? You joined the BAU at like 25." _

"_That's right." Reid smiled and sipped his coffee. _

"_Good for you." JJ smiled and nodded at him before looking at something behind him. "I think we might be meeting in the conference room soon." She started to walk elegantly towards the catwalk, but just as she passed by him their shoulders collided and his coffee cup slipped out of his hand. It spilled all over her white blouse. _

"_Oh…oh my gosh. I'm so sorry, JJ." Reid started babbling on about how sorry he was for spilling his coffee all over her. He couldn't stop apologizing to her because he felt extremely guilty for messing up her nice white blouse. _

_She tried to calm him down. "Reid." _

_He didn't respond, only kept trying to wipe it up. _

"_Reid…" _

_He apologized a couple more times, biting his lip. _

"_Spence!"_

_Reid looked up at that. "Uh…it's Spencer." He muttered, thinking that she'd already forgotten his name. Probably. He wouldn't be surprised a lot of girls in the past had done the exact same thing. _

"_I know." JJ smiled, brightly._

He loved that memory. She had been so sweet about everything. She always was.

Morgan, while looking out the window at the passing trees, thought of the first time that the team went to a pool together during the summer when they'd had some time off. They literally did everything together. It was great.

_Hotch and Rossi spent their time sitting in the shallow end, talking about something. It looked to be a heated conversation. Probably BAU related. Reid and Garcia were inside in the hot tub. Emily was just starting to get in while keeping her hair out of the water. JJ was laying out with her eyes closed, trying to tan. Morgan wasn't going to have that. He gave Emily a wink before climbing out of the pool. He had to admit that both women looked pretty good in their bathing suits. He glanced back at Emily as he walked up to JJ. She shook her head to warn him, knowing what he was going to do, but he waved her off. _

_JJ looked like she was asleep, but as he walked over she slowly opened her eyes. "Morgan. What do you want? Need someone to rub some sunscreen on your back?" She smirked. _

"_I thought you were better than this, Pennsylvania." Morgan shook his head and easily lifted her off of the seat. She squirmed, yelling for him to put her down, but he managed to keep his grip on her. He walked over to the pool and dropped her into the deep end. She popped up quickly, paddling. _

"_I'm telling Garcia about this." JJ grabbed onto the side of the pool. _

_Morgan's heart dropped. "Uh oh." If there was anyone on the team that he was afraid of. It was Garcia. _

Emily was sitting in the back of the SUV, next to Reid. She closed her eyes. When thinking of JJ, she was always reminded of the dinner they'd had together before she'd had to leave for Paris.

_Emily had been expecting her to cry or beg her not leave. That was the type of reaction someone would have in this kind of situation, but not JJ. She was cool and collected, seemingly okay with the whole situation. They talked for a little less than 30 minutes. They couldn't talk for more than an hour. There was a small possibility that Doyle could be watching JJ so if she stayed for too long he would find Emily. _

"_I'm sorry that you have to do this." Emily told her, thinking of how she'd have to lie to everyone just to keep her safe in the end. It really wasn't that fair. She wondered if it was better knowing that she was safe and lying or thinking that she was dead._

"_I'm not. If it'll keep you safe then I'd do it forever." JJ shook her head modestly. "I'm sorry that __**you**__ have to do this, Em. I wish that you didn't have to leave the country."_

"_Doyle's looking for me."_

"_I know and I'm going to miss you so much. I don't know what I'm going to do without you around." JJ let out a sigh. "It's going to be weird not having someone to help me gang up on Morgan. I'm out-numbered." She managed to lighten up the situation once again._

_Emily laughed, "I know. I'm sorry."_

"_It's like I actually am losing you."_

"_But you aren't. I promise that once this all gets sorted out I will come back. I will." Emily promised her, not sure if it was actually genuine or not. She looked at a clock hanging nearby. "I should probably leave soon."_

_JJ nodded, looking at the clock as well. She slid an envelope across the table. "This is everything that you'll need. Hotch also wanted me to tell you that he says goodbye and good luck." She met Emily's eyes. "I'll keep your secret for as long as you need, okay? No rush." _

"_Thank you, JJ." _

"_Be safe." _

Rossi loved JJ as much as all of the others. She was the only one out of all of the team that welcomed him back regardless. The others had judged and been hostile towards having a new member, but JJ…she wasn't like that.

_There was a knock at his door, probably another one of his so-called "team mates" coming to judge him and interrogate him even more. Oh joy._

"_Come in." He called out. _

_A sweet-looking blonde woman came in with a stack of papers in her arms. She smiled at him. "Hi, I'm Agent Jareau, JJ if you'd like." She set down the papers in one of the chairs and then held out a hand to him. He shook it with a small smile. She seemed like a nice, bubbly woman and had definitely, in the few seconds she'd come, brightened the mood in his room. _

"_David Rossi." He grinned and then looked at the papers she'd brought. "Are those for me?" _

"_Nope. They're all for me." JJ rolled her eyes and sighed. "I just figured that while I had some time I'd come and introduce myself. Frankly I think we did need another person on the team again. Maybe they'll start spreading out the paperwork."_

"_Probably not." Rossi chuckled, shaking his head. "Are you a profiler?"_

"_No. I'm a Communications Liaison. I mostly handle the media during cases." JJ beamed at him, "I heard that you were pretty good with the press back in the day." She raised an eyebrow._

"_Back in the day?"_

"_That's not what I meant." JJ answered with a sweet smile, recovering quickly from her minor slip up. She really must be good in front of the media if she was that good at covering up bad answers. That was a great skill to have in that line of work. _

"_I was joking." Rossi laughed. _

"_Oh thank god." JJ smiled, "I think you're gonna be a great addition to this team. You just have to wait for everyone to warm up to you. Trust me though, it's easier to associate with them then it seems. It's just they're still missing Gideon."_

"_You aren't?"_

"_I am, but I think you'll need at least one friend in all of this and I'm willing to give you a chance." JJ smiled a little. "I should probably get back to work, but it was nice meeting you Dave. If you need anything, my door's always open."_

Hotch could think of a lot moments with JJ that had hit home with him. She really knew how to get to him and read his real emotions. She was the only one that could. The most significant had probably been at Haley's funeral. That had, by far, been one of the worst days of his life.

_All of the people were crying over her, remembering her. He didn't want to remember her. He wanted her back. He wanted to hold her one more time, run his fingers through her soft blonde hair, but he would never get the chance. She was gone and he had to accept that. After his speech, he decided to take a walk through the cemetery, over to a nearby pond. A tear slid down his cheek. It was so peaceful over there. Haley would have loved it. He heard a noise behind him and turned around to see JJ approaching. He quickly wiped his tear away, not wanting to feel vulnerable. JJ and him were alike in that aspect._

"_Hey." JJ walked up beside him and looked sparkling water of the pond._

_Hotch didn't reply. His stare was blank._

"_That speech you told…it was beautiful. I'm sure she loved it." She gave him a nice smile._

"_I don't need you to comfort me, JJ." Hotch snapped at her._

"_I'm not trying to do that, Hotch. I'm just here so you know that you aren't alone, okay? You aren't." JJ was unfazed by his sudden anger. _

_There was a long silence that, to him, felt like hours. "She's really gone..." He stated after that long period. _

"_She's really gone," JJ looked over at him with big blue eyes, "but she'll always be with you. She'll always be with Jack. She'll always be a part of your lives. That's the important thing to remember here."_

_Hotch wondered how she knew what this felt like. He knew that she had probably lost someone before, most people had, but she had a lot more insight into it than most people would. It made him wonder about her…and her life. _

"_She knew you loved her." JJ spoke again, not waiting for his response. "Be thankful for that. Not everyone gets that kind of chance." She touched her necklace for a few seconds and then fixed her eyes on the surface of the pond. _

_Hotch shook his head. "Haley didn't deserve to die like this. I could have saved her."_

"_No. Hotch, stop. You couldn't have. Foyet was too far ahead of us for anyone to have gotten there in time. You did everything you could, okay?" JJ tried to persuade him. "Let yourself off of the hook."_

_He kept his gaze on the pond. _

"_Aaron." JJ tried without getting a response again, "Aaron! Look at me." She repeated firmly. _

_Hotch met her eyes. _

"_This was not your fault." JJ said it firmly with such certainty that it almost felt like the truth. _

_Hotch nodded. "I know." _

"_I'm sorry, Hotch. I'm so sorry for Haley, but as long as you keep remembering her and you never try to push her away it'll be better. Remember her in a good way and keep her in your life for Jack. That's what she would have wanted." JJ told him, smiling a little bit. _

_Hotch stood there for a few seconds in silence before finally speaking, "Thank you." He smiled. _

_They stood there together, looking over the smooth, beautiful water in front of them. It was a gorgeous little spot that they had found. _

_Hotch felt like it was nice to have someone there, spending this well-needed silence with him. Just having her there, standing next to him made it a little bit better than before. The sun reflected off of the pond and warmed his heart. He looked over at JJ, whose eyes were shining in the sunlight. "JJ…" He started, getting her attention. "Who did you-" He had been about to ask her who she had lost in her life to make her know these things, but he never got to finish._

"_We should be getting back." JJ nodded at him and then started to make her way back to the funeral. She was so mysterious. _

The car skidded to a stop on the dirt road. As the team got out, Emily noticed that there was a fence surrounding the back yard. This was definitely the right house. They walked up to the door, but didn't even bother to call out. Morgan quickly took the door down with a swift kick and they all barged in, splitting into the rooms. Various clears came from all directions.

Hotch have been the one who walked down the hall. He saw a doorway and pulled it open quickly. On the other side was a solid, all concrete room. There was a bunk bed, lamp and a single chair in it. That was it. He also noticed some blood on the floor and cautiously stepped over it to check the bathroom. It was clear. "Clear!" He called out. This had been the room they were held it. He wondered if the blood on the floor was JJ's. He pushed the thought away and walked out.

Emily, Hotch and Rossi met up together in the living room after clearing their rooms. They had all tucked away their guns by then. There was an eerie silence throughout the house that made everything seem even more mysterious.

"Where are Reid and Morgan?" Rossi asked, looking around casually.

"Come on." Hotch said, "They went upstairs." He pulled out his gun. Rossi and Emily did the same as they climbed the stairs. The tension was slowly building with each step. Just as Hotch reached the top there was a loud series of thumps. The unit chief took off down the hallway with Rossi and Emily close behind. As he barged into the room, Morgan was already putting handcuffs on Shane Greene with Reid standing behind him.

"Morgan, what happened?" Hotch asked.

"He was sitting in here, reading a book when he found him and then he pulled out a knife." Morgan reported to his chief as he pulled Greene off of the ground. "The rest of the floor is clear."

Hotch looked at Shane. "Where is she?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He barely got to finish before Hotch yelled in his face.

"WHERE IS SHE?"

Shane pulled his head back. "So straightforward…" He sighed and shook his head, "I already buried her…high up in the mountains. I still remember exactly how to get there, every turn, every landmark. It was a beautiful little spot."

"You're lying." Morgan said, choosing for the moment not to believe a word that he said.

"The murder weapon is in my truck, if you doubt me then go ahead and check the blood yourself. It's hers." Shane turned his head to look Morgan in the eyes. "She's dead, Agent Morgan. You're too late this time."

There was no time for anyone to react before Morgan swung his fist swiftly to connect to Greene's face. The force was so great that it made him fall to the ground. None of the other agents protested.

Hotch had been about to do the same thing. He couldn't think. He only saw red. There was no way this was happening. They had not lost another one of their own. He'd promised he'd never let it happen again and he never broke promises.

Rossi shook his head. He was the only one out of all of them that seemed to be thinking straight. There was a possibility that Shane was lying, but it was unlikely. He was a narcissist. If she was dead, he would want to flaunt it as he was doing now. Maybe she really was dead. Maybe.

Reid felt sick. There was no way that this was true. JJ couldn't be dead. She was a fighter and she always had been. She wouldn't give up on getting away. She wouldn't give up hope and she _would not _give up on life. He couldn't tell whether that was true or if this was just a coping mechanism for him to get through the loss of his best friend. He decided to go with the first option. Jennifer Jareau was not dead. There was still hope.

Emily couldn't breathe. She had to get out of there. She trampled down the stairs and ran out of the house. This wasn't helping her breathe. The thought of JJ actually being gone made her want to throw up. JJ put so much joy in people's lives. Without her in the world, who would? She brightened everyone's day and so many people would be devastated if she died. _Devastated_. She changed lives every day. This couldn't be happening. This was just a nightmare that Emily would wake up from in a few short minutes. As they ticked by, she finally realized that this was real. JJ was dead. Someone had to tell Will. Someone had to tell Susie. Someone had to tell Garcia. Someone had to tell Henry.

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"**I guess by now I should know enough about loss to realize that you never really stop missing someone-you just learn to live around the huge gaping hole of their absence."**

Alyson Noel


	17. Chapter 17

Thanks for all the reviews! Hope you guys are still entertained. I'll try and keep updating as long as you guys keep reading! Thanks, enjoy.

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"**I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so that you can learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."**

Marilyn Monroe

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"We've searched the whole property, she's not here Hotch." Reid told the unit chief, his voice small. "She's gone." His voice crack and he hung his head, not being able to look the older man in the eyes.

Hotch let out a sigh. He couldn't promise that she was alive, but he refused to give in to the fact that she was dead. When he found her body he would believe it. For now, they would keep looking. He put a hand on Reid's shoulder for a few quick moments and then turned around to go talk to Shane again. They had decided to keep him on the premises so that they could interrogate him. This was it. If they were going to find JJ, this was the time to do it. He walked into the house with Reid following. They both entered the room that Shane was sitting in.

Across the property Emily was talking to Will. Someone had to tell him what was going on before he found out for himself. He did have the right to know after all.

"Hello?" Will's voice was hopeful on the other end.

Emily hated that she had to be the one to shoot him down. "Will, it's Emily. We're on the property right now and we found Shane…" She started, not sure how she was going to end it.

"What about JJ? Is she okay? How bad is it Emily?" Will asked.

"Shane, well…" Emily found it hard to choke these words out, "He said that he already buried her…"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"He said that she is dead." Emily said it quickly, not wanting to words to linger. There was a long silence on the other end. She wasn't sure if he'd hung up or not so when too much time passed she spoke, "Will?"

"Is he telling the truth?"

"Will, we don't know-" Emily started to say.

"Yes you do!" Will cut in, "You're profilers you read body language, how can you not know if he's lying or not? JJ can't be dead! She can't be…" His voice trailed off.

"We don't know that she is for sure. She may still be alive, but…"

"There's a good chance that she really is gone." Will ended the sentence for her, his voice small and vulnerable.

"I'm sorry." Emily said and when she heard no response she decided to go, "I have to go now, but I'll fill you in on what we find later. And Will?"

"Yea?"

"She loved you. Hold on to that."

"I loved her too." His voice cracked mid sentence and she heard him sniffing on the other end. Her heart ached for the man, but even more her heart ached for JJ. Why did this have to happen to her? It wasn't fair, but then again…what was?

"Bye." Emily hung up and wiped a tear off of her cheek. She took a few moments to compose herself before looking down at her phone. She saw numerous missed calls from Garcia. Great, she had to tell her too.

"Emily? What the hell is going on? Why won't anyone answer their phones?!" She exclaimed, obviously upset. "All I know is that a few police officers brought a bloody crowbar back for testing and I'm freaking out. Tell me what's going on."

"We found Shane and he told us…" Emily paused and gulped, "That JJ was dead."

Silence.

"Garcia?"

Nothing.

"Penelope?"

She was completely quiet.

"Penelope! Answer me!"

"I-I'm here." Her voice was a whisper, barely audible over the phone.

"We still aren't sure if she really is dead, but there is a good possibility that it's true…" Emily trailed off feeling sympathetic towards her friend. She knew exactly how she was feeling; helpless. They had tried to help JJ, but they had been too late. She was dead and it was their fault.

She was silent again and Emily followed suit so that the two women were just on both of ends of the phone, thinking. There was no noise. It was peaceful for a few moments almost like an escape from all of their troubles, but it had to end. Emily needed the crowbar's blood results.

"Garcia?"

"Hmmm?" She was quiet. This was definitely hitting her hard, Garcia was never this quiet. Ever.

"Has that toxicology report came back yet? We need to know whose blood is on the crowbar." Emily asked, quietly. She hated that she had to make her friend do work when she was in such a state of shock and distress.

"Ummm…" The clicking of the keys were slower than usual, "It's back…the blood from the crowbar is JJ's." Her voice was still extrememly quiet.

"Okay, thank you. I'll call you later and tell you what's going on." Emily told her before hanging up and walking a little ways down the dirt road. For now, while they had some down time, she just needed to get away.

Hotch walked straight up to Shane, who was leaning back comfortably in his chair. He looked relaxed. At a time like this, after taking someone's life, he looked relaxed. Hotch frowned and gave him one of his coldest stares.

"Look who it is!" Shane exclaimed, smiling. "Gotten the toxicology report on the blood yet?" He asked, tilting his head. "Or do you always have that look on your face?" He stared at Hotch.

"Shut up." Hotch said harshly before continuing. "Where is she? Where did you bury her?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Because I'm the one who gets to help the judge decide how many years you'll spend in prison. Holding out evidence is a crime and I'll make sure you do your time for it…" Hotch persuaded, "Unless you tell me where she is."

Shane smirked, "You're very convincing Agent Hotchner."

"So you'll tell me?"

"No." Shane shook his head, "But that was a very compelling argument. I'm impressed."

"Damn it, Greene. What are you getting out of this? Do you enjoy watching us squirm? JJ was a _human being _with a husband, a son, and a _family_. She was a compassionate, kindhearted person and you just took that away. If she's dead…I swear to god I will end you."

"And you'll go to jail."

"Where I'll do my time happily with the comfort of knowing that the world is one psychotic coward less." Hotch growled in Shane's face. "What do you want? What will it take for you to tell me where she is?"

"How about we make a deal?"

Hotch's mind quickly flashed to the deal that Foyet had wanted to make with him. That conversation had started with that exact question. _If you stop hunting me, I'll stop hunting them. _He thought of Haley, Jack and now JJ. Sorrow washed over him. His life had come full circle. He looked down at Shane. "No." He said firmly. He would not give in, not on this.

"Oh come on. It's nothing big, Hotchner. Just hear me out."

"No."

"All I want is no death penalty. I know I committed two murders and with all of these charges I could get a ticket to death row. All I want is a chance to live. Can't you give me that? I'll tell you where she is if you promise me that I can live." He pleaded.

"Why should I? You decided to take away JJ's life. You don't deserve yours." Hotch barked at him.

"Do you want to know where she is?" Shane countered.

Hotch was silent for a few seconds, keeping direct eye contact with Shane. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Reid fidget behind him. He nodded, "Fine. Tell me where she is and no death penalty."

Shane nodded and blinked a few times to try and remember. "Go up the dirt road and when it comes to a dead end take a left. Take that road until you see a caution sign. Turn right at the next intersection. She's buried…well…dumped on the edge of the trees. You'll have to walk a little ways in, but you should see her. She was blonde after all." He smirked. "Good luck."

Reid and Hotch exited, joining up with the rest of the team.

"I talked to Garcia," Emily started with a grim look on her face, "the toxicology report came back. The blood on the crowbar…was JJ's."

"Shane told us where he left her." Hotch nodded to the team. "Let's go find out for ourselves."

They all climbed into the car with Hotch driving and Reid in the passenger's seat to give him the directions to their destination. The sky was darkening as they approached the caution sign and turned right. All 5 hearts in the car were speeding up with every mile closer they got. As the car came to a stop and they all climbed out, no one said a word. There was tension in the air. A breeze blew their way, but that did little to calm any of them down. Getting out their flash lights, the team started a slow walk into the woods with Hotch leading the way.

"Everyone spread  
out." He ordered walking straight ahead.

Morgan and Rossi went left.

Emily and Reid went right.

Beams of flashlights were easy to see flashing through the trees. Nothing was catching any of their eyes. A half an hour went by with no discovery. They were all starting to think the same thing, what if Shane had given them a fake lead? Either Hotch or Morgan, whoever got there first, would kill him with their bare hands.

Time was passing slowly and painfully. Everyone was starting to lose hope. Reid turned to Emily while lowering his flashlight. "Emily…" He started, shaking his head. "What if he wasn't lying? What if…" He couldn't finish.

"Let's keep looking." Emily gave him a quick, reassuring look before walking on.

Reid followed reluctantly, losing even more hope with every step. He couldn't imagine life without JJ. She was his best friend and without her…He didn't want to think about it. They were going to find her. They had to. So many people were counting on them that they just _had _to. He looked up quickly when he heard Emily gasp in front of him. Her beam of light was shining through the trees, but something caught his eye; blonde hair.

"Oh my god." Reid whispered, cupping his hand over his mouth.

Morgan and Rossi were searching through the tree with no luck. They were getting farther and farther away from the beams of their team mates. It wasn't long before they reached the eastern edge of the forest.

Morgan shook his head, wanting to punch something or someone. "She's not here." He muttered through gritted teeth.

"Let's just start walking back. Maybe Hotch or Reid and Emily found her." Rossi turned around and started walking back the way they came, towards the flashlights shining from their team mates. "And Morgan?" He stopped and turned to the younger man.

"What?" He snapped.

Rossi's eyes flashed. "You need get yourself under control. Your temper isn't helping anyone, if anything its making things worse. I can see that you're angry and I understand why, but do you really think that punching a wall or a tree or Shane is going to help JJ?" He glared at Morgan, who was silent. "Do you?" He asked more forcefully.

"No." He muttered, "I just hate being so…"

"Powerless? Not in control?" Rossi answered for Morgan, still holding the cold glare between them.

"Uh…yea."

"We're all in the same boat so why don't you try harder to find her rather than getting angry at everyone. We all want to find her, not just you. So get over yourself. Am I clear?" Rossi threatened.

No response from Morgan. He was too proud.

Rossi rolled his eyes, "Am I clear?!"

"Yes. I understand." Morgan let out a sigh and looked up at the sky. He didn't want to look Rossi in the eyes.

"Alright-" He never got to finish his sentence.

"SHE'S OVER HERE! COME HERE! WE FOUND HER!" Emily's yell was frantic. She was obviously in a hysterical state.

Hotch launched into a full sprint when he heard Emily. He was a whole forest away from her on the northern edge, but he was racing through the trees with urgency. He dodged trees left and right, trying to follow Emily's voice as best he could. He heard the loud steps of Morgan and Rossi coming from his left. They were both sprinting as well. He dashed towards where he heard the voice and he heard them behind him.

"OVER HERE!" Emily was still yelling to guide them her way. "WE'RE OVER HERE!"

They were close now, much closer than before. The three men were sprinting faster than they ever had before. It was mostly from adrenaline.

"We're over here! I can hear you guys! Come towards my voice!" Emily yelled.

"We're here." Hotch said as he approached Emily's dark frame. He glanced behind him and saw Morgan and Rossi run up. He looked around through the darkness and a chill went down his spine as he realized how cold it was outside. He stared at Emily, expectantly. "Where's Reid?" He asked.

Emily was crying. It was easy to tell even without shining a flashlight at her. She nodded to her left, "Over there…with JJ."

Hotch's heart dropped as he saw Reid hugging a small frame on the ground. It was JJ. She really was gone…He shook his head and put his hand on his hips.

Morgan walked over and embraced Emily in a tight hug, already acting on the advice that Rossi had given him earlier. She hugged him back tightly for a moment before pulling away and giving him a meaningful look. He tried to be as strong as he could for her. He had to be her rock.

Rossi hung his head low and turned away from everyone. He couldn't take it. He couldn't look them in the eye knowing that they had all failed in saving the arguably most innocent person on the team. They had failed JJ.

"What are you doing?" They all heard Reid's voice.

Emily jogged over to Reid and crouched down, looking up at the rest of the team as well. Her eyes were desperate and still filling with tears.

"What?" Hotch asked on behalf of the rest of the team members.

"She's alive!" Reid yelled, "Call the paramedics and someone get down here and help us warm her up." He ordered, taking charge for once in his life. She wasn't conscious, but he had felt her pulse so he was sure she was alive, despite the paleness of her face. He knew that had to keep JJ alive for as long as he could, but based on the wounds he had already examined on her he wasn't sure that she had a lot of time left.

* * *

"**In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."**

Robert Frost


	18. Chapter 18

"**We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us."**

E.M. Forster

* * *

A flutter. They all saw it. A flutter of her eyes. Every member froze where they were, watching her closely. Reid and Hotch were both knelt down on both sides of her to keep her warm. Hypothermia was the last thing she needed right now. The men made eye contact and Hotch gave Reid a small nod as if giving him permission. He knew that Reid would probably be the best one to keep her calm at a time like this.

The young doctor looked down at his best friend. Her eye was swollen and there was a large cut on her cheek. He also saw a few ligature marks on her neck. He glanced down and saw that her elbow was still dislocated. She had probably never had the chance to fix it. As for her other injuries, it was too dark for him to see. He took a deep breath to compose himself, "JJ? Can you hear me? Open your eyes for me."

No response.

"JJ…please. I'm here, you're safe just open your eyes and let us know that you're okay. We need to know that you're okay…" Reid pleaded.

Nothing.

Worried, Reid quickly checked to see if she had a pulse. Momentary panic set in when he was trying to find it, but eventually he felt a weak thumping underneath his fingers. She was still alive. Just as he was about to start speaking to her again, her eyes fluttered.

A flutter. It seemed like that was all it took to get their hopes up. This time it was more like a series of them. She was really trying to get her eyes all the way open, but it seemed to be an exceedingly difficult task for her. After around the fourth try or so her eyes finally opened slowly. Her once radiant blue eyes were now glazed over with pain. They darted between Hotch and Reid frantically as if she was looking for something she recognized, something familiar to her. Fear was painted all over her face.

"Hey…" Reid smiled brightly now that she was responsive…or at least he thought she was. He took her hand, glad that coincidentally it wasn't the arm with the bad elbow. "I'm here, JJ. I'm right here. You're safe and everything's going to be okay." He spoke slowly and in a gentle tone so that she wouldn't be scared of him.

JJ's eyes darted to Reid as he spoke, but they still looked blank. She was broken, not only physically, but emotionally. It seemed like, even though she had a pulse, that there was no life left in her. None of the fierce stubbornness or flare that she used to have was there anymore. Jennifer Jareau was broken. As she shifted her weight slightly, a whimper came out of her mouth and she closed her eyes tightly in pain.

"Are you okay?" Reid looked down at her, "Where does it hurt most?"

Unexpectedly, she actually responded to his question. It was short, but enough to let them know she was actually listening. "M-my…b..back." That was all she could manage to say in that moment. She still looked like she was in serious pain.

Reid wanted to check her back to see how bad it was, but he knew that would cause her even more pain. It wasn't necessary and the paramedics would probably take care of it. They would take care of her. He looked up at the other team members, "Where are the paramedics?"

Morgan shrugged, shaking his head. "We're in the middle of the mountains, Reid. What do you expect?" He was pacing back and forth now because he couldn't stand still.

When Reid turned back to JJ he found her eyes closed. His eyes flashed over to Hotch, who looked calm. "What happened?"

Hotch shook his head, "She shut them. We don't exactly need her to keep them open anyway. It'll save her strength to keep them shut for now. Let her rest." He spoke so calmly that Reid himself calmed down. They both looked down at the frame of the petite blonde woman that was lying on the ground between them.

Minutes passed…Reid couldn't stand this. Waiting…especially on something that he couldn't control. It was driving him completely insane. All he wanted to do was help her, but he didn't have any medical training. There's a big difference between reading anatomy books and actually performing real medical assistance. He rubbed his thumb across the back of her hand gently.

He felt a small squeeze of her hand and then she spoke again. It was barely audible, but Hotch and Reid were close enough for them to hear. "S-spe…n-nce?" It was broken up and extremely weak, but he had heard it. That was all she had wanted.

"I'm here, JJ. It's me…Spence." It was weird calling himself Spence since it was usually just JJ who did it. "You're safe now, we found you. We weren't going to stop until we found you. You're going to be okay, we're all going to be okay and you're gonna go back home to Will and Henry and-and…_to us_. You have to hold on Jayje. Stay strong for a little bit longer because, well…because I love you so much and I can't live without you. _We_ can't live without you so stay with me, okay? Stay with me." Reid told her.

No response.

"JJ?" He was concerned again.

Nothing.

Reid reached down and ran his fingers along her bruised neck for a pulse. His heart fluttered when he couldn't feel anything at first, but when he still, after a few more seconds of searching, couldn't feel the steady beating of her heart beneath his fingers…alarm set in. There was no pulse there. He shook her a little bit, "JJ?"

She didn't move.

"Reid?" Hotch asked, but the genius continued to shake her with a little bit more force, ignoring the unit chief. "REID! What is going on?" He could see that there was a new sense of urgency in the young agent's eyes. He was pale and looked just about ready to throw up.

"She's not breathing!" Reid started to do CPR on her, but it didn't seem to be helping. "SHE'S DYING. SOMEONE DO SOMETHING BEFORE-" He yelled, but was cut off by upcoming sirens.

An ambulance could easily be seen through the trees. It skidded to a stop in the grass at the edge of the woods. Luckily they were gathered near the outer border of the forest so it didn't take the two paramedics long to reach JJ. They got to work quickly, yelling things at each other as they started to stabilize her.

"She's unresponsive!"

"Starting CPR!"

"No change."

"Starting second set…"

"I have a pulse! Let's get her to the ambulance."

"I see a GSW to the shoulder and a dislocated elbow."

"And a few broken ribs, a broken cheekbone, possible internal bleeding and maybe a minor concussion. Call the hospital and tell them we're coming."

The two paramedics, being as gentle as they possibly could, carried JJ, who was now unconscious, out of the forest and lifted her into the ambulance. Before they left one of them turned back to the team, "We have room for two extras." He said urgently.

Reid nodded at the team before climbing in. It was a unanimous decision to let him go, but as for the second spot, it was up for grabs.

Surprisingly, Hotch was the first of the remaining team members to speak up. "I'll go." He climbed into the ambulance after Reid. He cared about JJ, sure everyone did, but he felt like he needed to be there for her this time. Usually he was the one who comforted the team in the waiting room, well not with her. He had to know what was going on. He had to be there for her…because he'd already failed her once and there was no way in hell that he was going to let that happen again.

They hooked her up to all of the machines that showed her status; blood pressure, heart rate…things like that. The steady beeping of her heart rate was the only thing that was really giving the two agents hope. One of the medics started to unbutton her shirt to get a good look at her gunshot wound. He pulled the old gauze off and examined the small hole in her shoulder, muttering something to his partner about more bandages.

He looked at Reid and Hotch, "Your friend-" He began.

"JJ."

"JJ is stable, but the gunshot wound looks like it may have hit one of the muscles in her shoulder which could be bad if we don't assess it and treat it the right way. Also, she may have internal bleeding from the beating she took to her back and abdomen. That shouldn't be fatal though because it can be easily fixed. There may be small complications, but that is nothing to be worried about with her current condition. Umm… and we'll probably have to bring a plastic surgeon in to fix her cheekbone…" He finished, "And it seems that her throat and neck area are very swollen which could be a problem once they start surgery. It is likely they'll have to put a breathing tube in while the swelling goes down…I think that's it for now. I'll let you know her condition as we go."

His partner placed more bandages on the wound while they traveled. A few minutes went by of the two medics tending to her minor injuries, nothing changed. As they reached the edge of the mountains a beeping noise started coming from one of the machines.

"Her BP is dropping!"

The once regular beeping on the heart rate machine flat lined. Her heart wasn't pumping anymore. Technically speaking, she was dead…again.

"Starting CPR." One of them started to push down on her chest.

"No change."

"Second set…"

"No change."

"Last set…" If this didn't work, she would be proclaimed dead for good.

"I got her! I have a pulse."

Immediately from coming back to life, JJ went into a cough fit. Once of the medics put a cloth over her mouth. It felt like forever until it was finally over. She trembled when she was finished and one of the doctors pulled the cloth away from her mouth. It was covered in blood.

"Yep." The paramedic said, "There's definitely internal bleeding." He told Hotch and Reid. They were both now staring gravely at JJ who was still shaking in weakness.

"We need to take care of the elbow before we get to the hospital. It'll just be in the way and she needs to go straight to surgery." The other said, looking down at the disfigured elbow in front of him. "You hold her shoulder." He obeyed and then the other took a nice grip on her hand. Her eyes shot open before they did it and she shook her head, pleadingly.

"Hey you." The paramedic nodded to Hotch, "Hold this young lady's hand."

Hotch looked down and took her other hand. He gazed at her and leaned in, "Everything's going to be okay JJ. Just look at me. Keep your eyes on me."

JJ's blue eyes met Hotch's brown ones.

"1…2…3!" The paramedic holding her hand yanked it down as hard as he could and there was a sickening cracking sound.

JJ closed her eyes and screamed in pain. It was the loudest noise they'd heard her make yet and was by far the worst. It was a long, high-pitched scream that ripped into the hearts of both Hotch and Reid. A few minutes after she finished, her eyes re-opened again and rested on Hotch. Tears raced down her cheeks.

"Good job, JJ. Way to be strong." He smiled.

The paramedics wrapped her whole arm to keep in place. A few more agonizing minutes passed before they arrived at the hospital and JJ's life was put into the hands of a team of surgeons. Reid and Hotch headed to the waiting room.

* * *

"Hello? Emily? What happened? Did you guys find anything? Please tell me that you have some good news…please." Garcia stopped what she had been doing and listened to the other end of the phone.

"Can you go get Will? He's not answering his phone and I need to talk to him too."

"No Emily! I will not go get Will until you tell me what is going on!" Garcia exclaimed, forcefully.

"We found her." Emily answered, "Now can you go get Will? I don't want to tell the same story twice, okay? I know he's there…he's just not answering his phone. Please…"

"Oh-umm…yea. I'll go get him, hold on." Garcia rose from her chair and walked out of the room. A few minutes later she re-entered with Will, luckily having already explained what was happening to him.

"Emily?" Will asked. He looked tired and unshaven still, but now there were also tear stains on his face. He had been crying.

"Will, Garcia…" Emily started, "We found JJ…in the woods…Reid and I did. She was alive, but her injuries were pretty bad. After the rest of the team came she started to wake up, but then we lost her. She was proclaimed dead for two minutes until the paramedics finally arrived and were able to revive her. They took her into the ambulance with Hotch and Reid, where they said she had to be revived a second time on the drive to the hospital. It's definitely touch-and-go, but we're all at Richardson Memorial Hospital waiting if you guys want to join us. She's in surgery right now, but hopefully she'll make it out okay."

It took Will a few moments to register everything she had said. "JJ is…alive?"

"Yes, she is."

"But you guys said that Shane buried her…"

"We said we weren't sure."

Will shook his head, letting more tears fall down his face. "I-I can't believe it…she's alive. I'm coming down there. I'll be there in five minutes." He raced out the door, picked up Henry and then left the police department for the hospital.

"Garcia?" Emily asked, thinking that she seemed chillingly quiet.

There was a faint sound of sniffling in the background.

"Garcia…?"

"I-I'm here…I'm just…I'm so glad that she's alive. JJ is alive…" Garcia shook her head. "I never thought that it would end up this way. It all seemed so hopeless, but…she's alive. I'm coming down there too. I'll be there soon."

"Wait, Garcia?"

"Yea?"

"Can you tell Susie and her mom too? Tell them to come down here. I'm sure Susie would be happy to know that JJ is alive…for now." Emily informed her with a small smile on her face.

"Yea I'll tell them."

"Thanks Garcia."

"No…thank you Emily!" Garcia hung up and so did Emily.

Everyone was so happy, but that worried Emily because…what if they all came down ehre to wait and then JJ never made it off the table. What if she made it out of surgery, but with a major complication? What if she was in a coma? What if she lost her sight? Or memory? That was too much negative. It was time for them to think positive. JJ would make it off the table. She would recover and she would return to work in a matter of weeks. She would…and there was no question about it.

* * *

"**It is the possibility that keeps me going, and though you may call me a dreamer or a fool or any other thing, I believe that anything is possible."**

Nicholas Sparks


	19. Chapter 19

**"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our separate ways, I to die, and you to live. Which of these two is better only God knows."**

Socrates

* * *

A hospital waiting room can either be the greatest heavens or hell on earth. People sit and wait for hours on end for news about loved ones until the doctors come through those double doors to either disappoint or please them. The only people that can decide the fate are a handful of specially trained surgeons, but sometimes…even that isn't enough. Sometimes there's nothing they can do. Sometimes they can do everything. Good or Bad. Heaven or Hell. Yes or No. Up or Down. Love or Hate. Light or Dark.

Live or Die.

Reid was staring at a blank white wall. He found comfort in it. The paint was evenly distributed and the bright white color gave him peace. He lost himself while staring at that wall and for one moment he stopped thinking about the situation. Instead of thinking about this whole ordeal he decided to think about the good things that JJ did and…was. She had everything; the full package. Compassion, Bravery, Loyalty, Sympathy, Ferocity, Strength, Responsibility, Integrity…the list goes on and on, but most importantly she was someone that you could never forget.

Time ticked on and every passing second was bearing down on the team members. Morgan was the first to take some action. He stood up and trudged over to the nurses' station on a mission. Putting a hand down on the counter he looked at the woman sitting across from him.

"We haven't been updated on Jennifer Jareau's condition in…" He glanced down at his watch, "three hours. Can you _please," _He said the normally polite word with extraordinary sternness, _"_get someone down here to tell us what is going on?"

The nurse typed something into the computer, "What is your connection to her?"

"We're…family." Morgan told the nurse.

She gave him a challenging look, "No you're not. Sir, I can't give any of her information out unless you are part of her family. I'm sorry, but patient confidentiality-"

"I don't give a damn about patient confidentiality. Jennifer Jareau is like a sister to me. I've known her for seven years and I need to know how she is. We're all a family. If something happens to one of our own, it happens to all of us. Now tell me what is happening!" Morgan demanded fiercely.

The nurse didn't back down. "Sir," she began again, "do you realize that giving away this patient's information is a breach of protocol that could get me fired? It's against the law. You of all people should understand."

"Do you really think I'm going to let the law get in my way?" Morgan shook his head. "I want to know how she is."

"You aren't her family!"

"I am." All heads turned towards the doors as Will entered. He walked right up next to Morgan, right into the action. "Tell us where she is." He demanded.

"What is your relation to Ms. Jareau?" The nurse asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm her husband. Now can you please tell us what is happenin' to my wife?" Will retorted quickly, glaring at the nurse that was sitting across the eisle from her.

She looked persuaded, "Ummm…Jennifer Jareau is in surgery right now. It says here that it was scheduled to end a half an hour ago."

"What does that mean?"

"I'm not a doctor, but I would guess that she probably had some complications during surgery that will extend the time. I'm sure it's nothing to be worried about, now when her surgery is two hours longer than it should've been you should start asking questions." Before they left she smiled, "I'm sorry about earlier."

Morgan didn't want to say anything. He just wanted to walk away, but there was a part of him that knew he should be polite. "It's really no problem at all. Thank you." He sulked back over to the group and sat down.

"She's still in surgery." Will announced, sitting down. "The nurse seems to think that she'll be out soon."

"We can only hope…" Morgan muttered.

* * *

Being a surgeon was a demanding job that never seemed to end. Doctor Phillips, a surgical intern who had just recently joined the staff, had been told to go check in on the surgery that was running long in OR 4. He put on his mask and scrubbed his hands down thoroughly before entering the room. This would be his first time going into an OR. It was a big moment. As he passed through .the doors he was met with a loud beeping noise and a lot of loud talking between the surgeons.

"BP is dropping!" One yelled

"We have to find out where the bleeding is coming from before she bleeds out!" One of the others returned as he pushed gauze down to wherever the blood seemed to be coming from.

There were four or five surgeons standing around her. One was working on her cheek bone, a plastic surgeon. There were two general surgeons on either side of her who were tending to her bleeding abdomen while an orthopedic surgeon was also standing there to fix her ribs and elbow. Lastly there was a neurosurgeon tending to her GSW so that he could fix the muscles and nerves that the bullet had ripped through. This patient was a mess.

"Found it! It's coming from the liver."

"It looks like it's been so compressed that the lining ripped. The blood is seeping into the abdominal cavity. We have to repair the tear." The older looking surgeon told his colleague.

The two general surgeons managed to stop the bleeding from inside the liver and sow up the tear that was causing all of the bleeding. By the time that happened, the beeping from the machine had stopped. She was finally stable again and Dr. Phillips could step in.

"Everything going alright?" He walked over to the table and examined it. At first he wanted to throw up at the sight, but he adjusted. After all, he had seen it in his textbooks plenty of times. How was this really any different?

"Well we just managed to stop the bleeding in her abdomen." The general surgeons reported.

The plastic surgeon looked up, "Her cheekbone is looking good. After a week with a bandage her face should look the same as it did before." He smiled, obviously pleased with his work.

When no one else said anything Dr. Phillips spoke up, "Dr. Hepburn?" He asked the neurosurgeon.

"Oh ummm…" He looked up for a few seconds, "Her arm looks good, but there is a lot of nerve and muscle damage. It will be a while before she can fully use this arm again, but I don't think there will be any permanent damage. Just a lot of pain…and recovery time."

The orthopedic surgeon smiled at the intern next, "Her bones look good. She was strong and from the looks of it…she was a fighter-"

"What even happened to her?" Dr. Phillips asked looking over all her wounds and injuries. It was almost sickening. He knew how much that would to have hurt and would hurt in the future. He looked up at her face. She actually seemed to be an attractive woman. What could have done this to her?

"She works for the FBI-" The orthopedic surgeon explained.

"She does?"

"Stop interrupting me…" He snapped, getting irritated with the new intern.

"Sorry."

"She works for the FBI and I heard that they were on a case or something and she was taken by the killer. Apparently she was kept there for like a week or two." He shrugged, shaking his head. He hoped that this kind of thing would never happen to him or his wife and kids.

"I heard that she saved two kids too." The general surgeon added.

Dr. Phillips stared at her, "Wow." He muttered.

"Anyway, her bones are good. I think she may need a metal plate put in for her elbow because it looks like one of the plates itself was cracked. No wonder. The paramedics said she screamed really loud when they popped it back into place."

"You know sometimes I think that the paramedics should have to keep taking classes while they're working so that they know to check things like that. Imagine how much pain that would have caused. It was a completely unnecessary thing to do." The neurosurgeon felt a chill go down his spine.

"Poor woman." Dr. Phillips sighed, "Well I'll go tell her family. Thanks for the update."

* * *

All heads snapped upwards as they saw the doors open into the waiting room. Susie and her mother entered the room to join the team with their waiting. Henry and Susie quickly sparked up an innocent conversation and didn't stop talking. It brought a casual, calming feeling to situation when everyone saw their purity. It was adorable.

The double doors on the other side of the room were pushed open. They all expected that it was going to be another doctor that was going to deliver news to someone else who was waiting.

"Jennifer Jareau?" The doctor called out, looking around the waiting room.

Every man that had been sitting down, Morgan, Hotch, Will, Reid, and Rossi, all got to their feet at once making the young doctor flinch and step backwards. He looked at all of them with an intimidated expression on his face.

"I'm her husband." Will was the first out of all of them to speak.

It took a moment for the doctor to recover, "Oh alright. Well Ms. Jareau is doing good at the moment. Her cheekbone and elbow had both been fixed, but right now the general surgeons are taking care of her internal bleeding and the neurosurgeon is working to fix the muscles in her shoulder. They told me that it looked like she was going to be fine, but her recovery time may be a little long." He reported quickly.

"As long as she recovers I'm okay with that." Will announced, sitting back down in his chair.

* * *

**"Our wounds are often the openings into the best and most beautiful part of us."**

David Richo


	20. Chapter 20

**I am so sorry about the update. I was just editing a mistake in one of the chapters and then it got out of order so I had to repost one of them. Sorry about that, didn't mean to leave anyone hanging. I'm sorry that this chapter is short too, but we're getting close to the end so I have to start thinking about how I want to finish it. So hang in there :) Hope you like this chapter.**

* * *

**"Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous possessive love that grabs at what it can."**

Yann Martel, _Life of Pi_

* * *

The door was cracked. A few more steps and he would get to see the woman he loved…alive, but yet he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was nervous that maybe she wouldn't be the same person that she was. After all, she had been through a huge trauma. No one could blame her if she changed, but he hoped she didn't. That was why he finally decided to go in.

He couldn't let hope decide it for him.

It only took a few short steps for him to push the door open. As he laid eyes on the woman that he loved with all of his heart, he felt the breath slipping from his lungs. She was lying back against a pillow with a bandage on the left side of her face. Her left arm was being elevated by a sling that hung from a ceiling and the last thing he noticed was her shoulder. It was bandaged heavily making it looking unproportional to the rest of her body.

But she still looked beautiful, breath-taking even.

Will took slow, gentle steps towards her bed. She was asleep and he didn't want her to wake up with a start at the sight of him. That also made him wonder…the recovery. It would most likely be a hell full of medications, nightmares and maybe even therapy. It was worth it…for her.

As gently as he possibly could, he reached down and picked up her hand to hold it in his. He barely clutched it as if he was scared that he would break it. She looked so pale and fragile like she actually was made out of glass. He couldn't even imagine what kind of pain she went through…alone. Why couldn't he have been there? Why couldn't he have helped her?

He could feel the guilt building up inside of him.

Will rubbed her hand gently and closed his eyes. At least she was safe now, he had to look at it that way. He knew that was what she would have wanted. When he opened his eyes again he was surprised to see that her eyes were fluttering open too. His heart skipped a beat. As her they came all the way open to reveal those deep blue eyes, she slowly scanned the room until her eyes rested on Will. It looked like she wanted to say something, but as she started to open her mouth pain filled eyes and all she could let out was a whimper.

"You don't have to talk, sweetheart." Will rubbed her hand, "I'm here…you don't have to say anything." He said soothingly.

"I just…wanted to tell you that I'm sorry that this happened and…I'm really proud of you. You s_aved_ two little kids, JJ. That's amazing, it really is." Will gave her a crooked smile, "You're an amazing woman and…well…I love you. I love you so much, JJ…" He squeezed her hand a little and watched her give a small smile.

There was a pause and then, almost too quiet to hear, JJ spoke. "I love you too." It was barely a whisper, but it was loud enough for Will.

He lifted her hand up and kissed it gently, "Alright, cher. I think there's some other people that want to get some time with you, but I'll come back later. With Henry…"

Will stood up and made his way out of the room. Outside of the door he was met by her whole team, waiting to see her. He met their eyes and gave them a smile. "She's awake, but…I think it kind of hurts her to talk so you guys might have to keep up the conversation."

"She's okay?" Reid asked his voice full of anticipation.

Will nodded slowly, "She's okay."

Hotch turned around to face his team, "Are you guys ready to go in? We have to be calm so we don't smother her too much." He told them, glancing backwards at the door. He was itching to see JJ, he had to make sure that she was, in fact, okay.

"We're ready." Emily spoke for most of the team and then stepped towards the door with the rest of the team following.

Hotch was the one who pulled it open and walked inside with Emily directly behind him and then Reid, Rossi, Morgan and Garcia coming in after that. They made a semicircle around her bed, all looking down at her. It was silent. No one could find words that seemed good enough to say to her right now.

It turned out that JJ was the first to speak, "Hi." That was all she could really bare to say with the pain that was radiating from her cheekbone.

"Hey." Reid replied giving her a goofy grin. He stopped for a few seconds before continuing, "It's really great to see you Jayje. We were all really worried that we'd…we'd never would." He looked down at his feet so that no one would see the tears threatening to leave his eyes. His best friend had almost died; he had the right to cry, but he wouldn't, not in front of the rest of the team.

"I don't know if you know yet…" Hotch started, "but Susie and Luke both made it back without so much as a scratch. That's something you should really be proud of JJ. It's incredible." He nodded and smiled when he saw her blush.

"That's just what she does though. It's JJ we're talking about." Morgan smiled down at his colleague.

Everyone nodded.

Garcia and Emily had been silent the whole time. They were both at a loss for words; it was hard to think of anything to say to her.

The men carried the conversation along with many different things; Shane's trial, how they had found her, things like that. They were doing a surprisingly good job at keeping her occupied until another long silence came.

This time it was Emily who broke it, "I really missed you JJ." Was all she could managed to come up with, but by the look on JJ's face she saw that it was enough. It was enough for JJ to know that she cared and that she was happy she was okay.

"So did I." Garcia added, tears sliding down her cheeks. "It's weird…I also listen to you guys going places and investigating thing, but I never really stop to think that you won't come back. So when you didn't…I-I…" There was a short pause, "I couldn't handle it."

"None of us could." Morgan joined in, stepped over to Garcia and putting an arm around her.

JJ felt her heart warm in that moment. She loved each and every member of that team, they all meant the world to her and to have them here made everything better. She smiled a little bit, wishing that she could say something back, but it hurt too much. She couldn't…so she just hoped that her eyes were telling most of the story. They were profilers after all.

"But the point is…" Rossi smiled, summing it all up. "We can't be a team without you."

They all nodded.

A tear slid down her cheek, but they were tears of joy. Because everything had worked out, because they were all standing here in front of her, because she was alive, because she hadn't lost who she was. That was why they were tears of joy.

With that, the team left her alone to dwell in her own thoughts, or at least she thought that was the last of her visitors until the door started to open for the third time.

A woman that she didn't recognize walked through the door and she narrowed her eyes, wondering if she was a doctor…but she didn't have any scrubs on. Now she was confused, why was this lady in her room? She hoped it wasn't to lecture for breaking protocol or anything like that because if it was she just might have to fake passing out.

As the woman made her way in a small girl entered behind her, it was Susie and the woman, from what JJ could assume, was her mom. They were both smiling brightly at her. She wished she could have greeted them, but the words just didn't want to come. The pain was too much.

"Hello…ummm Agent Jareau." The woman seemed to feel a little bit awkward, having never met her before.

"JJ." Susie smiled, correcting her mother.

"Hello JJ, I'm Mary Costell, Susie's mom. I just wanted to come by with her and…well…thank you. Thank you so much for what you did because I know that everything could have happened so much differently if you hadn't…" She stopped and restarted, "I don't know if I'll ever be able to thank you enough. You're a mother too so you can only imagine how much gratitude I have. What you did was fearless, so…just… thank you."

JJ nodded in response and looked down to meet Susie's eyes.

"Hi JJ." Susie said grinning. "I ran just like you told me to and then the police brought me back to my mommy. You were right; you said I would see her again. Oh and I met your friends, they're really nice. And Henry…he's really nice too! He said that you always stopped the bad guys…and he was right."

Mary gave her a smile, "We're both really glad that you're okay." She shook her head, "I didn't even know who you were and I was rooting for you to make it out okay. And you did."

JJ decided that it was time for her to manage a few words, "I did." Was all that she decided to say, it was a type of closure. Her cheekbone throbbed, but she realized that it didn't hurt as much as the first time. She might have to ease back into it, but in time she would be talking again.

In time she would get back on her feet and start doing the things that she had before this.

Who was it that said time healed all wounds?

She didn't care; all she knew was that they were right.

As long as she had the time to do it and the people to help her, she _would _bounce back, she _would _get back on her feet.

She _would _heal.

* * *

**"We've been there and come back. When you fall in the pit, people are supposed to help you up. But you have to get up on your own. We'll take your arms, but you have to get your legs underneath you and stand."**

Bucky Sinister


	21. Chapter 21

**"My team, let me tell you about my team. Agent Morgan fought to protect his identity from the very people who could save him. Why, because trust has to be earned, and there are very few people he truly trusts. Reid's intellect is a shield which protects him from his emotions, and at the moment his shield is under repair. Prentiss overcompensates because she doesn't yet feel she's part of the team, she needn't worry. Every day Agent Jareau fields dozens of requests for our team, and every night she goes home hoping she made the right choices. Garcia fills her office with figurines and color, to remind herself to smile as the horror fills her screens. And Agent Gideon in many ways is damned by his profound knowledge of others, which is why he shares so little of himself, yet he pours his heart into every case we handle**."

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner

* * *

It had been two months. Two whole months that it had taken her to recover and no one, especially her, had thought that it would take her that long. The physical only took a couple of sore weeks to heal, but the mental recovery…that's what had taken her most the time. The fear had been the worst for her because it was so constant. Everywhere she went she saw him. On the news, outside jogging on the sidewalk, even walking to the park with Henry she would turn the corner and see him sitting on a park bench. It got to the point where she didn't want to leave the house anymore. Her mind told her that Shane was in jail… that he was gone, but her gut told her that he was still out there…waiting to get her back. It took over her life. She barely ate anything for a whole week because she was so paranoid, but that weekend when Will was home enough to notice her state he forced her to eat something and encouraged her to go out again. With his help the fear started to subside or at least she learned how to handle it.

The nightmares were just as persistent. Almost every single night she would wake up in a sweat because of a terrifying dream that she'd had. They were completely horrific. For some reason they always seemed to explore what more Shane could have done to her and Susie if they had stayed longer. While she was there all he did was kiss her, but with more time would it have escalated? It was so real that she could almost smell his cigarette filled breath. She found that the only solution was to keep herself awake…and it worked for all of two days until she finally just passed out on the couch. Luckily that long nap that she had didn't include any nightmares, which she was thankful for. With time, they became less steady, she'd only have them maybe one night a week, but somehow…she thought that was worse because it would strike at a random moment when she felt safe only to rip that sense of security away from her.

You'd also think that when a tragedy happens you'd want attention and you'd want people by your side, but for JJ…it was completely different. She wanted isolation so that she could think about, well…everything. It seemed like whenever she got a few seconds alone, Will would come rushing in or one of her friends would call in or drop by to check on her. She knew that because of all her problems that she'd been having that they were all afraid of her trying to do any damage to herself, but that was the last thing on her mind. She _just _wanted to think, that was it, but apparently that answer wasn't good enough.

Headaches and migraines were also very common and she assumed it was because of the concussion she'd sustained during the attack. It was a recurring thing, but most of the time Will knew that when she was having one that he should leave her alone and keep quiet because the only thing worse than having a migraine is having a migraine when there is a lot of noise around. It makes it so much worse; she'd learned that the hard way. One day, she'd had a terrible headache, but luckily Will and Henry were both out of the house so it was peacefully quiet. That was, until Emily came knocking on the door…loud knocking. JJ tried to cover her ears, but it did nothing to help. Emily called through the door, saying that she knew JJ was in there and that she should come out, but JJ was literally frozen in pain. It felt like someone was pounding down on her forehead. She didn't dare to move…until Emily finally stopped knocking.

"Please…go away." That was all JJ could muster, but it was loud enough for Emily to hear. Her friend left immediately after that and JJ knew that it hurt Emily more than she would ever let on.

That was what made JJ realize just how much she had been pushing people away. She'd been so absorbed in the fear and the pain that she didn't bother to think about the love and warmth that she was surrounded with.

She'd lost herself.

But at least then she knew the problem and she had to get back to the place she had been before it had happened. The recovery process started. Over the course of a week or two she mended bridges, faced fears and got back on her feet. The only thing left for her was the psych evaluation and then she could finally get back to work, doing the thing she loved with the people that she loved.

That was, if she passed.

"It's not like you're crazy, JJ. You'll pass with flying colors." Reid encouraged her over the phone. He sounded overly enthusiastic about all of this, probably because he was ready to have her back on the team already.

JJ let out a sigh, "I know. It's just…well, it hasn't been the same lately. You know that, things got rough there for a while there and I don't want her to know about that because then she'll think that I'm not ready to come back."

"She'll love you."

JJ rolled her eyes without realizing that he couldn't see it and she'd just left a huge amount of awkward silence between them. "Since when were you so good at cheering people up?" She smiled.

"I learned a few tricks from you. I mean, after all the things you did for me, I had to return the favor. You're my best friend, Jayje and you deserve this. I know that, you know that and the person in your evaluation will know that." Reid told her.

"You seem pretty sure." JJ gulped nervously. She held the phone up to her ear as she walked down the sidewalk towards the BAU. She had gotten into walking ever since she'd gotten back because she found the fresh air and peace comforting. By the soft static of the wind she heard on the other end she could tell that he was walking somewhere too.

Reid let out a soft chuckle. "That's because I know you, Jayje."

"You know me? What is that supposed to mean?"

Reid paused, "It _means_ that I know you're charming and charismatic and…everyone who meets you never forgets it. I know that you always get nervous about things like this, but _every single time _you do everything perfect. Every single time, JJ. You have nothing to worry about, trust me."

"I do trust you, but-"

"But nothing. Get in there and kick ass like you always do." Reid cut her off on an impulse.

JJ paused in surprise, "Did you just-"

"GO!" He hung up.

JJ blinked for a few seconds, taking a moment to process what had just happened. She smiled a little bit at Reid's enthusiasm before continuing to walk. The BAU building was now in her view only a few more streets away. The closer she got the more nervous she became. By the time she was approaching the door she felt nauseas. She stopped in front of the door and just stared blankly at it, wondering if she actually was ready to go through with this. The nightmares were still happening and she wasn't exactly fully recovered, mentally anyway. She reached down and touched the scar on her elbow that had come from the surgery to put the metal plate in. It made her shudder. Shane had physically become a part of her that she could never let go of. Silently, she wondered if that was why she felt so violated and insecure. That was when she realized she was profiling herself and she quickly put an end to it, or at least Reid did.

"JJ! I thought I told you to get in there!" He walked up beside her. This was the first time in three or four weeks that he had seen her because of all the stuff she'd been going through. He couldn't have been happier.

JJ turned to look at him, her blue eyes filled with distress. "Reid…"

"No. JJ you have to do this. We need you…well, I need you back on the team for good…" Reid insisted, giving her an encouraging look.

JJ shook her head slowly, "I just don't think I'm ready, Reid."

"Jennifer Jareau not ready? That's unheard of." Reid gave her an incredulous look, "JJ…listen. The guy that they brought in while you've been gone his name is More, Agent Thomas More. He is the most headstrong person I've ever met. Even more then you and Hotch combined. Strauss brought him in and he's always talking about protocol. He even told Garcia to stop joking around on a phone call once."

"He did?"

"He did and he always tells me that my facts are irrelevant to what we're talking about. I'll have you know that most of the time I have a point when I go into something, but he doesn't care. He's so infuriating. We just need you back…_desperately."_ Reid explained, persuasively.

"Fine." JJ rolled her eyes, "But only because you're so persistent." She let out a quick sigh and then pushed the doors open confidently. It was early so she wasn't surprised to find that no one was in for work yet…except for Hotch. She spotted him on the catwalk and when he made eye contact with her he gave a small nod before retreating back to his office to continue his work.

She glanced back at Reid, who shrugged. "That's more than I ever get."

"Well…it is Hotch." JJ smiled and grabbed both of his hands in hers, "Alright…well thank you, Spence…for everything." She squeezed his hands, "I better go do this before I change my mind again. Wish me luck!" She let go and started walking down the hallway that her evaluation was supposed to be held in.

"Good luck, JJ!" He called behind her.

JJ walked to the small conference room that she was familiar with. It was the room that Strauss had interviewed the team in after Foyet had…the point was that she remembered it and not in a pleasant way. Through the window she saw a woman sitting in the room which made her realize that there really was no way that she could turn back now. She knocked lightly on the door and the woman opened it a few seconds later.

"Hello! You must be Agent Jareau, I'm Dr. Leighton, but don't let the "dr." scare you. I'm just a psychologist, nothing too fancy." The doctor joked lightly, smiling vibrantly at JJ. "Please sit. I'll just grab my clipboard and we can get started." She turned her back to JJ and walked over to get her clipboard.

Without a word, JJ sat down in a chair and crossed her legs. This woman seemed nice; maybe she could actually get through this. As long as she kept her emotions in check she could survive. _If _she could even manage to do that.

"So…" The doctor started, sitting down in front of JJ, still smiling. "I heard you were quite an agent." She looked down at her clipboard, probably to look at JJ's file. "The first media liaison for the BAU and I've also heard you're very helpful with getting through to a victim's family. Compassion is a good quality to have, Agent Jareau."

"Uh…JJ, please." JJ gave the doctor a bright smile back. This was the first time since she got back that she had used her media smile and she had to admit that it felt good.

Dr. Leighton grinned, "I also heard what you did for those kids. That is incredible, JJ. You saved two lives by putting your own in jeopardy. To be honest, I'm not sure I even see those kinds of qualities in people higher up in the chain."

JJ could tell this woman was empathizing with her and she didn't mind, but it just felt fake…like it wasn't sincere and the woman was just doing this as part of her job. She only nodded in response.

"What were their names again?" She asked.

"Who?"

"The children that you were with."

This woman was sloppy. JJ knew that Dr. Leighton had her file right in front of her so this was obviously a test to see if JJ still remembered everything. "The boy was Luke. I…uhh…never learned his last name. The other was a girl, Susie Costell."

"Oh yes…" Dr. Leighton nodded, "Luke was the first one back, correct?" She continued after JJ gave her a quick nod, "How did he escape?"

JJ flashed back to it. Luke and Susie were running down the long dirt road that lead to god knows where and just as she looked back at her captor, Shane slammed a shovel into the side of her face, breaking her cheekbone. She visibly flinched. "Umm…"

"JJ?"

"Sorry, sorry. Ummm…Luke was barely out of the car with him…" She started, but Dr. Leighton interrupted promptly.

"Who?"

JJ knew this was another test. She wanted JJ to say his name, but the odd thing was that it was actually threatening for her. If she said his name, it made it more real…more personal and she was scared. Reid was the first person that came to her mind, he needed her. "Shane Greene." She answered confidently.

"Alright, continue."

"Well, basically I hit Shane with a shovel. Both kids ran until Shane started winning the fight. He hit me with shovel so many times that I could see straight anymore until…Susie came back. She was so brave to do that." JJ smiled a little bit, "But it only got her caught again."

Dr. Leighton looked confused, "So how did she end up getting out at all?"

"The next day when Shane came in I knocked him out. Susie and I both escaped, but Shane was after us. We thought we could hide from him, or I did anyway, but he found us. He found us by disguising his car as a police car. The moment I heard the siren…I-I thought I was saved, but it was just Shane. So we hid in the bushes until he found us there too so I gave myself up and gave Susie the chance to escape. She ran all the way to one of the houses while I tried to fight Shane again."

"You tried again?" The doctor actually looked genuinely interested. This part of the story had never been filled in because there had been no one to tell it. That was, until now.

JJ nodded with her gaze trained on the ground, "He grabbed a crowbar and threatened to hit me with it, but I didn't back down. I couldn't stand it anymore."

"Stand what anymore?"

"Living."

"Oh." Dr. Leighton gave her a sympathetic look.

"I charged at him, but he hit me somewhere with the crowbar. I don't even know where. After that, everything is just a blur of pain. It was all I felt. I didn't even feel him pull me out of the truck and dump me in the woods because I was so blinded by the pain. The only reason I came out of the daze was because I heard Reid's voice when they finally came. It sounded like an angel to me. That was when I knew that I couldn't give up on them." JJ told the doctor.

"And then they took you to the hospital." Dr. Leighton filled in, ending that portion of the conversation. She moved onto a new topic, "Let me ask you…how constant have the nightmares been?"

"How did you-"

"Sweetie, from what you just told me…I know." She nodded, "How constant?"

JJ shook her head, thinking about them. She wasn't sure if she was ready to open up to a complete stranger. "In the beginning it was all the time. I could eat or sleep, it was what made the fear even worse. I couldn't leave the house for a whole week either. I just felt like he was coming for me…" She couldn't go on. It was too personal.

"You know, JJ…it's okay to open up and let people in. It helps, trust me please." Dr. Leighton touched JJ's hand lightly.

JJ hesitated and then continued, "I couldn't escape it. My husband, Will and my friends were the ones who managed to snap me out of it. I realized that I surrounded with so much love that I didn't have to be scared anymore. I knew that they were there for me and it helped, it really did."

"That's good to hear." Dr. Leighton looked at her.

"But…I still feel like he's a part of me though, like he left his mark." JJ touched her scar and the doctor looked at it, but didn't seem surprised.

"Contrary to what you might think, it's very common for people to feel like that after a traumatic event. All you need to focus on is getting yourself to believe that he's gone. Nightmares end and scars fade, but the love that you feel for your friends and your husband is forever and that is something that you need to remember, okay?" The doctor rubbed her hand.

JJ didn't respond. All she did was stare blankly at one of the off-white walls.

"Okay?" The doctor pushed.

"Alright."

"Earlier," Dr. Leighton started curiously, "you said that you couldn't stand living anymore….how about now?"

JJ smiled a little bit, "I think I can _stand it_." It was more amusing when she said it out loud, "I mean, the pain is gone now and I'm ready to move on with my life. I'm ready to let go of all the fears that were holding me back , but also hold on to the memories because they make me stronger."

Dr. Leighton leaned back, "Well said JJ…" She held eye contact for a few more seconds and then looked down at the chart. "You do not need a follow up visit. Here is your chart, you are officially cleared. Good luck in the BAU, you deserve it."

JJ looked down at the slip of paper with a smile. "Thank you, Dr. Leighton. Thank you so much." She gave the doctor a quick handshake and then exited the room feeling like she could breathe again. At the end of the hallway she could see Reid waiting for her, sipping his coffee. In his other hand he was holding a second cup.

He smiled brightly, "I knew she'd love you."

"Is that for me?" JJ returned his smile.

Reid nodded and handed it to her. "I'm glad you're finally coming back, JJ."

"I am too. I guess Agent More is just going to have to transfer somewhere else then." JJ shrugged, sipping her coffee quietly.

"Who?"

"Agent Foster."

Reid nodded, "Oh." He sipped his coffee and stared at the floor.

"Spencer Reid." JJ raised an eyebrow, "Who is Thomas More?"

Reid gulped and looked at her, shyly. "An humanistic author from the English Renaissance. He was also sainted if that makes it any better." He smiled a little bit, hoping that she wouldn't be mad. "I only lied because you weren't going to go in. I knew you could do it. You just need a little push, that's all." He expected her to be mad.

"Spence…I missed you so much. You have no idea." JJ gave him a tight hug.

Reid smirked a little bit, "I think I do." He hugged her just as tight.

* * *

**"They do their jobs with integrity. And most importantly, they honor their oath. "I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic. I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same. That I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion. That I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter, so help me God."**

Emily Prentiss

* * *

**A/N: This next chapter is probably going to take a while for me to write so I tried to make this one pretty long. The next one will probably be the last one...probably. I don't want to say that it will be because if I get another idea, who knows? We'll see.**


	22. Chapter 22

**"I believe humanity was born from conflict. Maybe that's why in all of us lives a dark side. Some of us choose to embrace it. Some have no choice. The rest of us fight it. But in the end, it's as natural as the air we breathe. At some point, all of us are forced to face the truth. Ourselves. For me, that day has come. I was 18 when I faced a man who chose to embrace his dark side, and by doing so, he took my humanity. Every day since I have put on a mask to hide what now suffocates me. The truth. And nothing speaks louder than the truth."**

Penelope Garcia

* * *

Paperwork had been piling up for Erin Strauss lately. Pressure from headquarters, signing off on case reports and other miscellaneous papers that no one else seemed to be responsible for. It was a definitely stressful, there was no question about that, but she knew how to handle it. Experience had taught her time management, self-discipline and many other helpful skills, but even knowing that…it was hard to have a positive attitude with a stack of papers still waiting to be done. Just as she finished one and reached up to begin another, there was a knock on her door. She almost thought of it as a rescue, but made sure to show no emotion.

"Enter." She called out.

The door was pushed open and a man walked in. He had a small stack of papers in his hands, "Agent Strauss...these were supposed to be sent to your office." He set them down on her desk with a small, nervous smile.

"What are they?" She didn't look up from the sheet that she was already working on.

The man cleared his throat, nonchalantly. "They're…umm…they're regarding Agent Jareau's re-instatement to the BAU. She finished her psych evaluation today." He reported, "You just need to sign off."

Strauss looked up at him, her gaze ice cold. "I know what to do." She snapped, "I will review them and return them to you when I'm finished."

The agent nodded and walked out, clearly letting out a sigh of relief once he was outside the door.

Strauss looked through the file and everything looked fine. She had been cleared psychologically, which was a very good sign, especially after a trauma. The fourth page of the stapled packet was the first co-worker evaluation. Her team had been asked to evaluate her performance on the team as best they could. The replies that she read didn't surprise her, but she did find herself exceedingly impressed.

* * *

**Name:**

David Rossi

**Rank:**

Supervisory Special Agent

**Unit:**

Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Short Evaluation of Co-worker:**

In my time at the BAU I have not encountered an individual as exceptional as Agent Jennifer Jareau. Not only does she do her work with class, but she also connects and empathizes with every family and every victim that she comes across and that in itself should be considered extremely extraordinary. And another thing: while Agent Jareau exceeds expectations and pushes boundaries, rarely does she receive a thank you, but does she stop? Does she expect recognition for her actions? No. She doesn't. Modesty is a humbling, which is more of what the FBI needs. This job needs people like her to show others how loving, caring and _feeling_ aren't always disadvantages.

Working with her was a privilege and if she were to come back I would be overjoyed.

**Would you recommend re-instatement?**

Yes.

* * *

**Name: **

Derek Morgan

**Rank: **

Supervisory Special Agent

**Unit:**

Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Short Evaluation of Co-worker:**

When I think about Jennifer Jareau I feel angry. Yes, angry, but not because of how she was or how she acted. I feel angry because of Shane Greene, the person who tortured her. I hate that he was in control and could do whatever he wanted to her without any of us there to help. But you know what? That made her stronger. Jennifer Jareau is stronger, maybe stronger than any of us and that is one of the few facts that I can trust to be the truth. And I know that with every case, every win, every loss, every child, every family, every moment…she will only get stronger.

**Would you recommend re-instatement?**

Hell yes.

* * *

**Name:**

Penelope Garcia

**Rank:**

Technical Analyst

**Unit:**

Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Short Evaluation of Co-worker:**

I've never really done anything like this before, but I'm going to give it a chance…for JJ. If that doesn't tell you all it needs to, then I think you're looking too much into this. I, along with a high percentage of other Americans, believe that everything happens for a reason. I believe that Jennifer Jareau came into my life for a reason, I believe that she came to this job for a reason and I believe that she was put through hell for a reason. Now, as I am given the chance to help make something happen, I will give _you _the opportunity to know my reason.

Agent Jareau should be brought back because she doesn't believe everything happens for a reason. She profiles, observes, concludes and in every way possible she helps people to heal. Maybe not everything happens for a reason, I'll admit, but that's the only way I can make sense of it. Agent Jareau is special because she doesn't have to make sense of it…she already has. Somehow life seems to make sense to her and she can communicate how to make sense of it to other people.

**Would you recommend re-instatement?**

Of course.

* * *

**Name: **

Emily Prentiss

**Rank:**

Supervisory Special Agent

**Unit:**

Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Short Evaluation of Co-worker:**

Jennifer Jareau is an amazing woman for plenty of reason, only a few of which I will address. First, when I had joined the unit and no one was really warming up to me, she didn't isolate me at all. She collaborates with everyone and understands that teamwork is part of the job. Second, she has so much passion. When she believes in something, nothing can stop her and when she puts her faith into you it is easy to tell that she believes in you more than you even believe in yourself. Last, Agent Jareau is brave. I don't even think there is anything I need to write after that. There is plenty of proof and testimonies to vouch for it. She puts herself before everyone else and, to me, that is what the FBI is about. That is what life is about.

**Would you recommend re-instatement?**

To not recommend her re-instatement would be an insult to the FBI itself.

* * *

**Name: **

Doctor Spencer Reid

**Rank:**

Supervisory Special Agent

**Unit:**

Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Short Evaluation of Co-worker:**

Honestly…I stared at this sheet of paper for an entire hour, just trying to think of what to say, or how to show you how great JJ actually is. But I couldn't get this one memory out of my mind. I walked into work one day and I was tired…I hadn't slept at all the previous night. I walked straight up to the coffee machine and JJ walked up behind me. Without even knowing I had been tired or that I wasn't really up for conversation, she started talking my ear off. I found comfort in it, in knowing that she was so happy even though I wasn't. I kind of just walked away without a care in the world. That night, over some dinner with the rest of the team without JJ, I found out that her mother had died the night before. And yet, she still came to work that cheerful in the morning. Her walls were so thick and deep that even I, as a profiler, would have never guessed that there was anything wrong. She builds walls to shield herself from hurt because she, like a lot of us, has been hurt more than once. She pushes through because she knows that she has to keep going, like a shark, because if she stops moving she'll die. The time that it takes someone to let go and move on are trademarks of their character. JJ finds away to do both and still manage to build up her walls before anyone can notice. It shows her incredible inner strength and security. It shows simply what JJ is: unbreakable.

**Would you recommend re-instatement?**

Yes. I would recommend that JJ should be reinstated.

* * *

**Name:**

Aaron Hotchner

**Rank:**

Supervisory Special Agent

**Unit:**

Behavioral Analysis Unit

**Short Evaluation of Co-worker:**

Every single day Agent Jareau has to choose from different cases around the country that are pleading for help. Every single day she has a battle within herself and every single day a part of her is chipped away, broken. But then she returns. No matter how broken, how worn she actually is, she comes to work and strives to make other people's lives better. Everyone here is looking for something. For some it's skill, for some belief, for some freedom, but for Agent Jareau it was different. Her intention was simply a hope for a better day.

A pleasant thought, but also all too unattainable. It was an ignorant, but pleasant reason that she held onto. With every win, it strengthened, with every loss, it was faltered. Even so, through all of that…it was there, it clung to life, feeding on the thought that change _could _happen.

That is an attitude that deserves to be here...not the people who strive for skill, or belief, or freedom. Hoping for change is never-ending, but can also be rewarding. That's why she showed up every day and that's why she will continue to show up to work. She needs this job so that she can try her hardest to do the impossible: make a change. If that isn't something that's valued here, then what is? Camaraderie? Bravery? What is the point to having that if there is no goal at the end, no finish line? JJ has always had that finish line in mind, even when the rest of us didn't. That is something to be remembered here. She is working for something every day. She's working for something that the rest of us are subconsciously working for too, something the world needs.

Every single day Agent Jareau will return, that is something to count on. No matter how broken, worn or chipped she is, she will always come. Not for herself, but for other people…for a better day.

**Would you recommend re-instatement?**

Yes, I would.

* * *

Strauss stared down at the paper for one extra moment, signed it, and then returned to the paperwork that she had been working so diligently on before.

* * *

**"Sometimes there are no words, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day. Sometimes you do everything right, everything exactly right, and still you feel like you failed. Did it need to end that way? Could something have been done to prevent the tragedy in the first place? Eighty-nine murders at the pig farm. The deaths of Mason and Lucas Turner and make 91 lives snuffed out. Kelly Shane will go home and try to recover,to reconnect with her family, but she'll never be a child again. William Hightower, who gave his leg for his country, gave the rest of himself to avenge his sister's murder. That makes 93 lives forever altered, not counting family and friends in the small town of Sarnia, Ontario, who thought that monsters didn't exist until they learned that they spent their lives with one. And what about my team? How many more times will they be able to look into the abyss, how many times before they won't ever recover the pieces of themselves that this job takes? Like I said, sometimes there are no word, no clever quotes to neatly sum up what's happened that day … Sometimes the day just…ends."**

Aaron "Hotch" Hotchner

* * *

**A/N: **This is not the last chapter. In fact, I am almost finished with the last chapter, but then I thought of this and knew that it had to go before the last chapter because it really wasn't "last chapter material" and wasn't nearly long enough. I hope this gives you kind of a sneak peek, well, not so much of a sneak peek. More of a chapter to hold you off until the end. Don't worry though, even though this one is short...the last chapter is really long. I can't wait to post it and I can almost promise it will be done by the end of this week. Be ready for the end! I hope you like this chapter and make sure you review!


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: **If this isn't clear...the italicized parts are flashbacks of JJ's first day of the BAU and the normal is present day. Also, the bold text in the flashbacks are JJ's thoughts. I thought it was pretty easy to understand so I hope no one has any trouble :) Enjoy!

* * *

**"What happened to you... it isn't fair, but what you're doing to her isn't fair either. And if anyone should understand what that feels like it's you. You have the power, you can do what you want to do, but for once you can chose to use that power to do for Ellie what should have been done for you. You can chose letting her go. You can chose teaching her that, yes, there are monsters, and it's okay to be afraid of them. But it's not okay to let them win, and it's not okay to be one."**

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau

* * *

**_Okay, JJ it's just your first day…nothing to be worried about. You've been training hard for years and you know exactly what to say and do. Be polite, stand tall, make an impression. That's all you have to do to get noticed and once that happens you get accepted. That's it, easy. Well…it should be. _**

_JJ's mind was racing as she drove silently from her apartment to Behavioral Analysis Unit of the FBI in Quantico, Virginia. Finally, she'd made it. After years of practicing and preparing in FBI training, she had made it. She was where she was meant to be. To her, a girl who had grown up in a microscopic town in Pennsylvania, this was all a dream come true. She was an FBI agent, she was important. _

**_Just keep telling yourself that. Don't be nervous, you're already an FBI agent now all you have to do is become a part of a team that has been together for years before you even began your training. No problem there. They would accept a newcomer, right? _**

_She pulled smoothly into a parking spot just outside of the intimidating brick building. It was a convenient parking spot actually…right in front of the entrance, but she was too busy worrying about her first day to notice. After the car was off she hesitated to get out. Even though she felt a little bit weird, she remained sitting inside her car for a few extra seconds to prepare herself for the day ahead of her. _

**_This is it… It's the beginning. Once you get through those doors you'll-_**

_Suddenly there was a loud knocking noise against her window. She jumped and whipped her head to the left where she saw a tan, muscular man just outside her car looking back at her with an amused brown gaze. He motioned for her to roll her window down, but instead, because her car was already turned off she simply opened the door and climbed out so that she was standing directly in front of him. _

_"Everything okay?" The man glanced at her car and then rested his stare back on her. _

_JJ nodded with a small smile, realizing that she had just been about to give herself a little pep-talk, "Everything is fine…thanks." She smiled a little bit more, "It's my first day and I'm just a little bit nervous." Telling a complete stranger felt weird, but also cleansing._

_"Wait…" The man examined her, "You're Agent Jareau…the Communications Liaison?" _

_JJ stared back at him, wondering how he knew her name already. "Yes." She replied smoothly trying not to think about the fact that this stranger really wasn't really a stranger after all. _

_"It's nice to meet you. I'm Agent Morgan, a profiler for the BAU. Hotch told us that an Agent Jareau was going to be joining the team, but…" He smiled at her and took a long pause. "I don't know…I just pictured you differently."_

_JJ stared at him, a little bit annoyed. Was he hitting on her? Really? It was only her first day and she had only just found out who he was a couple of seconds ago. "Umm…?" She narrowed her eyes at him, skeptically._

_Agent Morgan realized her annoyance quickly and shook his head, "No, no…not like that. I mean, you're pretty and everything, but…I'm not coming onto you…no offense." He gave her an effortless, apologetic smile. _

_"It's fine, really." JJ smiled a little, excepting his apology. She started walking towards the building and he followed, falling in step next to her. "But…if you didn't think I was going to look like this, what __**were**__ you expecting?" She found herself anticipating her answer, but she wasn't sure why._

_ "I don't know…" He said, "I just wasn't expecting a blonde." Now he was smiling, it was a joke._

_ "Well, thank you Agent Morgan. It's nice to meet you too." JJ retorted, sarcastically with a small smirk on her face. _

_"You can call me Derek." _

_"Well, Derek…you can call me JJ."_

* * *

The week following her psych evaluation, after all her paperwork had been filed, JJ was all set to come back to work. It was about time. She'd been itching to get back every since she had passed the evaluations, but apparently there were a lot of people who had to sign off before she could officially come back. The anticipation just about killed her. Eventually they finally informed her that she could start back at BAU on Monday. It was crazy to think that after all that had happened to her; she still ended up in the same place. At the BAU…where she belonged.

That Monday morning was stressful. She was anxious about returning to work. What if she wasn't as good as she used to be? What if she'd lost that spring in her step that she'd had before? Profiling, like all other things, required practice. And through these past few weeks she hadn't had any. She wondered if Hotch was going to start her off with doing media things again. Honestly, she wouldn't protest. Being in front of the media was one of the places that she felt very secure and comfortable. Up there, she knew that she wouldn't mess up. She trusted her ability, but profiling…it was fairly new to her so she wasn't sure if she could hop back on the horse as quickly.

JJ got up even earlier than usual that day so that she could take a shower, do her make-up and get dressed. She did each task carefully, wanting to look her best for her return. Even though she had tried to be as quiet as she possibly could, Will was awake by the time she finished. As she did one last look in the mirror he walked up behind her and wrapped his strong arms around her waist.

"You look great." Will squeezed her tightly while resting his head gently on her shoulder.

JJ smiled a little bit and leaned into him, "I don't know why, but I just feel like I'm starting all over. I'm nervous..." She admitted, biting her lip and letting out a short sigh.

"Nervous?" Will shook his head like it was the most ridiculous thought in the world, "JJ. They loved you three months ago and they'll still love you now. You have no reason to be nervous, trust me." He kissed her cheek tenderly, lovingly.

JJ stared into her reflection, "It's going to be a good day." She nodded as she spoke, not sure if she was talking to Will or to herself. Either way, it cheered her up considerably. She turned around in his arms and planted a soft, affectionate kiss on his lips. "I love you, you know that right?" She whispered, touching her forehead to his.

"Of course I do." Will kissed her forehead and pulled away a little bit so that he could look her in the eyes, "I love you too, hun."

JJ kissed him again and it may have turned into making out if she hadn't pulled away. He kissed her forehead again and then she stepped away from him, "I'll see you tonight."

Will smiled and pursed his lips, "Can't wait."

JJ smirked and climbed down the stairs, hearing the loud footsteps of Will following her. It was comforting to know that he was behind her, literally, and also behind her in her wishes to go back to the BAU. A long, nervous sigh escaped her lips. This was it. This was only way to figure out if she could really get back into work again: by just jumping right back in and seeing how it went.

She pulled the front door open, sent one last glance back at Will, and then walked out into the world again. Everything was back to normal. Birds chirped, cars cruised leisurely down the road, there was soft breeze, and even the sky was still depressingly cloudy. As she reached up to the car door and pulled it open, she caught a glimpse of a scar on her arm. Everything wasn't back to normal, she realized. But maybe it didn't have to be. Maybe things were supposed to be this way.

Maybe, no, she was _sure _that this had made her stronger.

As she made the short commute to the BAU, she was reminded of all the experiences that she'd had during her days with the FBI, good and bad. Well, mostly good.

She remembered Polly Homefeldt, the girl who had survived the murders in her hometown. She'd had to watch her best friend die right in front of her at the hands of her other friend just to survive. It was horrific. This was one of the first cases that had really made a big impression on JJ. Maybe because it was in her hometown and she had literally been those girls when she was young, or maybe just because of how shaken up that poor girl had seemed. To lose a best friend was one thing, but to have to watch another do something so terrible…it was inhuman.

She remembered Ellie Spicer, the girl that had touched so close to Morgan's heart that he almost lost himself. She knew that Morgan was still in touch with her too and that touched JJ's own heart deeply because that girl had lost so much that day and Morgan was incredible to help. That had been the first time that she had really, _really_ contributed to a case first hand by saving that little girl. It was the best feeling in the world.

She remembered Chris Summers, the goth boy who had been blamed by his own father for starting a website that was encouraging teenagers to choke themselves. Suicide was a touchy subject for her, so this case had been especially hard. At least the boy had survived in the end and they had caught his dad, happy endings were what they worked for. That had also been the case that she told Hotch about her sister, it felt good to tell someone about her and to also use it to touch base with Hotch.

She remembered Charlie, Aimee and all the kids they saved from being burned on Mosley Lane where a couple had been taking kids for a long time…too long. This case was good and bad. They'd saved three kids, one of which was the son of a woman who had been waiting 10 years to find him, but for one boy they'd been too late and JJ had to be the one to tell his parents. She always was; it was kind of her responsibility. The look on their face was one she'd never, ever forget.

She remembered Hunter Wright, the boy who had been taken hostage by his own father. She had been the one who had found them arguing in the basement and it had taken a few punches from the unsub to get that boy out safe. It had been worth it, plus it earned her a reputation at the BAU and from Morgan.

And lastly, she remembered Kate Joyce, the girl who had been taken by two boys who were the same age as her. They'd left her in the ocean to die, but her parents and the team had never stopped looking. Her parents had been a mess, but had JJ managed to keep them calm and comfort them along the way until they made a breakthrough and finally found Kate, clinging to a buoy in the ocean. It was a miracle. And after she was safe and in the hospital, Kate's father had asked JJ to meet her because while they had been waiting to find Kate, they had built a bond. They had connected with JJ from the beginning and even after, the connection was still there and their bond had held strong. When she had actually met Kate Joyce, she found herself impressed. That girl had been a fighter, she reminded JJ a lot of herself when she was a teenager. Never giving up, perseverance. That was why later, when they told her she had to leave the BAU, she did without a fight, to hold up to who she used to be and to who that girl was.

As she remembered all these victims that had become a part of her she realized that, while the BAU did have cases that ended badly, a lot more of them ending happily. That was why she was in this line of work and could still be passionate about it. Lives were saved that should've been lost, because of them.

That thought made it a lot easier for her to get out of her car and walk confidently towards the BAU. She _would _go back in there because the people out there needed people like her, they needed people to look for them when they're missing, find the killer after they've died, and most importantly, help their families move on.

* * *

_Derek lead JJ through the doors of the BAU for the first time, which for her was an especially momentous occasion that she tried to take in every moment of. Once they actually were inside, he told her that he would show her all of the most important places, which thankfully started with the much-needed coffee machine. They each filled a cup to sustain them for the rest of the day. Next, he decided to show her the technical analyst's office or "lair" as he so-called it. _

_He stopped at the door before he opened it, "Okay…before we go in I just want to warn you. Agent Garcia is…well, crazy and outgoing. Let's just say, it's probably not going to be what you're expecting, but in a good…better way."_

_"Umm…what?"_

_Derek shook his head and smiled, "Never mind, don't worry about it." _

_She found herself a little bit nervous again, sure Derek had calmed her down a little bit since she was in the parking lot, but now she was about to meet the technical analyst for the FBI...__**the **__technical analyst. Before he had said anything she had been almost sure that the technical analyst was going to be a boring, serious man with glasses and a hard stare. _

_Well, she was right about the glasses. _

_As they walked in she was met with the vivacious Penelope Garcia, who was wearing, to JJ's surprise, a bright green dress and a vibrant, multicolored headband to match it. When she easily spun around in her chair and smiled at them, JJ felt a lot less nervous than before. This wasn't threatening at all. _

_"Well hello there," She smiled at JJ, "Looks like we have a new face here at the BAU! __**Finally**__, I was starting to get bored with everyone else. I'm Penelope Garcia…pleased to make your acquaintance." She held her hand out. _

_ JJ shook it, "Jennifer Jareau, JJ if you'd like." She smiled back at Penelope while glancing at Derek who was leaning comfortably against one of her desks. Everything in this room was colorful and there were a lot of cute little figurines and fuzzy pens. It was bright and definitely nothing at all like what she had expected the FBI to look like._

_"JJ, it is." Penelope grinned, "So…is today your first day?" _

_JJ nodded, "And I honestly have no idea where anything is. It's a good thing someone caught me before I started wandering around looking clueless." She smiled and looked over at Derek again. _

_Penelope laughed and then looked over at him too, "I see you've met the delicious Derek Morgan, of course he'd want to show __**you**__ around…" She rolled her eyes, "He's always been a ladies' man, but before you start trying to close the deal, just know, he's mine." She smirked jokingly, but JJ got the feeling that it wasn't that much of a joke. _

_Morgan winked at JJ before turning back to Penelope, "Woah Babygirl…don't scare away the girls before they even have the chance at all this. JJ here may have wanted a shot with me before you said that…" He joked lightly. _

_Penelope's eyes rested on JJ._

_JJ rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, definitely. The moment I looked into those deep brown eyes and then brushed against those chiseled muscles…I fell hard and now, I can't wait to get my hands on you." She shot back, smiling. _

_Morgan gave her a seductive smile. _

_JJ blew him a kiss in return._

_Penelope was laughing in the background, "I like you, JJ. I can already tell that we're gonna be really good friends, you just wait and see." She looked at her inquisitively, "Are you a profiler…?" She guessed on a limb. _

_"No just a Communications Liaison." JJ answered, holding up her badge to show Penelope her title. She held her head high and proud, it had taken a lot of work to get into the FBI, especially the BAU, but now she was here and that was definitely something to be proud of. _

_"And what does a fancy Communications Liaison do?" Penelope asked as she took JJ's badge and looked at the title on it. She raised her eyebrows in curiosity._

_JJ gave her a small shrug, "It's actually pretty new career field, but I'll probably just handle the media and __**communicate**__ with families and police departments around the country. Let's just say I'm kind of like the person who filters between the BAU and the rest of the world. " She explained smoothly, effortlessly._

_Penelope nodded, "Oh wow…sounds like a big responsibility." She handed the badge back to JJ._

_She looked down at it and shrugged, "We'll see."_

_"Yes we will. Well, good for you JJ. That actually sounds like a quality job, especially because you're not another profiler. I hate them." She smiled a little bit and glanced at Derek mischievously, like she had only said that to aggravate him. _

_"Hey! Woah, woah. Don't try and influence people to believe what you believe. Profilers aren't that bad. Being one, I personally think that we're great, but I'll never be able to convince you of that will I?" Derek joined the conversation abruptly. _

_Penelope shook her head. "Nope you won't." She turned back to JJ, "Trust me. You'll know my hatred once you get to know them. Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful first day JJ and if you ever wanna come in here and gossip about our favorite piece of man candy, feel free."_

* * *

Her heels clomped against the concrete as she walked towards the door. It was still dark outside so she glanced down at her watch. It was 6:00 in the morning which meant that the sun would probably be rising soon. It was also likely that, because she was so early, no one else was going to be there.

That's what she had thought, at least.

As she walked through the doors she was genuinely surprised to find the whole team waiting for her with encouraging and exhausted smiles on their faces. It was obvious to her that most of them usually never got up this early.

The first to approach her was Reid, which really wasn't a surprise to her. "Welcome back JJ," he said softly, "It's about time."

Tears welled up in JJ's eyes, but never fell. She stepped forward and embraced Reid in a quick, but warm hug, squeezing him welcomingly. This was so sweet of all of them and maybe she was just taking out her affection on Reid. "You guys…" She started, "You really didn't have to do anything for me."

"Yes we did." Emily spoke up, "There was no way we were going to let you come to work to an empty office on your first day back. Plus, we all really missed you. Especially me, it's hard being the only woman on the team. Believe me." She hugged JJ, who was chuckling slightly.

When they pulled away, JJ put her hands on Emily's shoulders and then made direct eye contact with her, "Trust me, I believe you."

They both laughed, sharing a quick moment together before Emily stepped backwards to let Morgan give her quick hug as well.

All Morgan said was, "I'm so glad your back Jayje." And even though it was short and to the point it still meant a lot to her, especially because it wasn't a joke or a tease. It meant he was serious and that he really meant what he was saying…it meant he cared.

JJ reunited with Rossi and Garcia next. Their reactions were a mix between gladness and a lot of crying (which was mostly Garcia). She appreciated both.

Lastly, Hotch approached her. It was a slow walk and it almost looked like he was hesitating as he walked towards her. "Hey," A small, rare smile reached his lips, "I just want to say that…you were missed JJ and it's really great to have you back after so long."

They didn't hug, but the meaning was still there.

"This…it really means a lot." JJ smiled a little bit, "It's nice to know that, even though I did lose it for a little bit there, you guys still care. And I want you to know that when I was in that dark place, just knowing that you guys were visiting me all the time, it helped. So thank you."

Tears streamed down Garcia's face, "You're always so smooth with your words…I missed that." She stepped forward and hugged JJ a second time.

The smile that had previously been on Hotch's face was long gone now. "Alright guys, I hate to say this, but we have to get back to work."

The team dispersed, all going to the places that they would be doing their paperwork.

JJ and Hotch walked up to the catwalk together.

"I figured since you're just getting back that you don't want to have to deal with picking out the cases so I decided that for now, I'll pick them and then we can ease you back into it again." Hotch looked over at her for her input.

JJ nodded slowly, "That sounds like a good idea and it's probably for the best." She paused, "But if I don't do that…then what do you want me to do?"

Hotch stopped when they reached her office. "Well, from what I understand, you have some old case reports that still need to be filled out. The due date has been delayed, but you should probably get them done."

JJ gave him a small smile and nodded. The thought of doing case reports brought a smile to her face. She was getting back into her old routine and the normalcy of it all comforted her. As she sat down, before she started on the case reports, she knew there was something she needed to do first. In one of the drawers of her desk there was a small, fuzzy black jewelry box. She set it down on her desk directly in front of her.

Slowly she reached backwards and gently undid the hook of her necklace. She slid it off and then held it carefully in her hand.

Over those past few months she'd learned something.

Before everything had happened she'd always thought of her sister as some kind of guardian for her. She had always thought that somehow, her sister was attached to that necklace.

During her time with Shane she'd been secretly wishing that her necklace was with her because that would mean that her sister was watching over her. And the two months after she'd gotten back, she never took it off.

But that made her realize something.

Whether she had it on or not, her sister was with her. The necklace only represented her, but without even having it on…she could feel that her sister was with her and that was all the comfort that she could have ever asked for.

JJ gently lowered the necklace into the box and then tucked it away.

* * *

_Derek stayed in Penelope's liar after JJ left and she was glad to have a little bit of time to herself so that she could go find her boss and maybe even find her way to wherever her office was. She would have asked Derek or Penelope, but after she had excused herself they had launched into a conversation about his love life that she wasn't sure she wanted to interrupt. Hopefully she would find someone else who could help her. Coincidentally, the moment she shut the door to Penelope's office and turned around she ran directly into someone. The guy had a cup of coffee in his hands and when they collided, it splashed to the ground. _

_"Oh…I'm so sorry. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The guy said, he looked young, probably pretty close to her age and was adorably lanky. He had long brown hair that was perfectly messy and she noticed that when it fell into his face he nonchalantly flipped it out of his hazel eyes. He had a nervous smile on his face that made her wonder if he was as new to this job as she was._

_"Oh no, I'm the one that should be sorry. It's your coffee that's on the ground." JJ looked down at it, "Hopefully there's a cleaning crew around here that'll come through and clean it up for you."_

_Reid bent down and picked up the now empty cup. As he stood back up his hair fell into his eyes which caused him to casually flip it out. He scanned the small badge that was clipped to her chest, "Agent Jareau?"_

_"Yes."_

_Reid nodded and smiled, "Oh well, Hotch told us last week that you were going to be starting here. He talked very highly of you actually. I've been thinking we need a new addition to the team anyway, someone who will spice things up a little bit. You look like that kind of person, honestly."_

_"How can you tell?" JJ raised an eyebrow, expectantly. _

_"Your smile." He answered easily as if he knew that she was going to ask that question and had prepared an answer. He observed her for a moment, "I can already tell that you're charismatic and you're not one to judge people at first glance. Those are two very good qualities. Two qualities that I value, actually." _

**_Profilers…_**

_She smiled, "What did you say your name was?"_

_"I didn't. I'm Dr. Spencer Reid and it's very nice to meet you." He didn't shake her hand, which she found weird, but didn't ask questions. _

_As JJ tucked away his name into her memory she also noted that this was the third member of her team that she had met today which she thought was a good, steady start for her first day at this job."It's very nice to meet you too. What kind of doctor are you?" She asked in curiosity. He looked extremely young to have gotten a Ph.D._

_"Well, I have two doctorates: One in Math from Caltech and one in Chemistry. I also have two BAs in Psychology and Sociology." Reid explained, talking so quickly that she almost missed everything that he had said. _

_JJ stared at him in surprise, "How did you do that?"_

_"I graduated from high school when I was twelve and just went from there. I have an eidetic memory so whatever I see, read or hear…I remember. It's a blessing and curse, really." Reid gave her a modest smile and shrugged. _

_"Wow, that's impressive."_

_"You're young too though and from what I can tell your accomplishments are impressive. Being the first communications liaison is pretty good considering that the FBI doesn't usually tend to accept change." Reid smiled at her. "I, for one, enjoy new faces."_

_"So do I, Dr. Reid." JJ smiled at him, "And you know what? I'm glad that I ran into you…even if it did spill your coffee." She chuckled a little bit, "Let me know if you're going to get a refill though because I'm almost done with this cup." She held up her cup._

_"Will do." Reid started to walk away. _

_"Oh and Dr. Reid?" She called, making him turn around and come back._

_"You can just call me Reid." He told her. _

_JJ smiled brightly, "Okay, well most people call me JJ. Anyway, can you tell me where Agent Hotchner's office is? It might be important to meet him before this day ends." She joked lightly even though she really was in a rush. _

_Reid nodded, "Sure. It's right through those doors, up the ramp and onto the catwalk. After that just look on the nametags until you see it. Oh and if you didn't already know…your office is a couple doors down from his." _

_JJ looked at him, defensively. "I __**did**__ know."_

_Reid smiled at her again and leaned in slightly, "I said __**if.**__" He started to walk away again. _

_"Okay I lied…I didn't know." JJ called to him as he traveled down the hall. She figured that she should at least be honest and own up to it._

_"Knew it!" Reid called back over his shoulder before he too disappeared into Penelope Garcia's lair. _

_And then JJ understood why Garcia said she hated profilers._

* * *

After the first hour of doing work, Morgan looked up from his paperwork. He gazed up into JJ's office and saw her there, doing paperwork as if everything was as normal as ever. And then he noticed her stop working for a moment and look out of the window of her office. She scanned the pit of offices until her eyes met his. He gave her a small smile.

She smiled back and then went back to work.

Morgan sighed and stood up, unsatisfied. He leisurely made his was up to the coffee machine and refilled his cup, but he wasn't ready to get back to work just yet so he decided to make a stop by Emily's desk. He leaned comfortably against the edge, "Hey." He smiled.

Emily looked up from her paperwork, "Can I help you with something?" She raised an eyebrow.

"I just needed a break and I knew you did too so I thought that I would just stand here and you could have the pleasure of looking at me for a while." Morgan smiled and winked down at her.

Emily smirked and leaned back in her chair, "Oh yes. Every day I look forward to the moment that you'll come by my desk so that I can just sit back and _observe._" She replied with stinging sarcasm.

Morgan turned around and smiled, "Don't pretend that you don't like it."

"Oh I_ love _it, but you better watch out though. If Garcia finds out you've been flirting with other women, well…I think we both know how bad that would be." Emily pointed out with a shrug, "Your choice." She added.

Morgan nodded and turned back around, "Good point." He muttered, staring up curiously into JJ's office again. Although he knew that she would never want him to admit it, he was worried about her. He wanted to be sure that she was still okay. Coming back to a job after so long can be hard, especially after going through something like what she had been through.

"Do you think she's okay?" He asked suddenly, turning back to face Emily.

She immediately knew who he was talking about, "She acts like she's okay…and I know she knows how to handle herself. The best thing that we can do is try to be supportive without being obvious…you know how she hates that."

"I do. It's just…I want her to know that I'm here and I'm willing to listen if she wants to talk…" Morgan sighed heavily.

Emily shook her head, "That's the thing though Derek. She doesn't want to talk. She just…holds it all in and I'm afraid that's a bad thing, you know? It eats away at you if you do that, you'll tear yourself apart."

"You think that's gonna happen to her?"

"I think it's already happened and she's just now getting over it." Emily answered, "I don't know how to help, but…she's tough and I think even though she won't ask for help she knows how to help herself, you know what I mean?"

Morgan nodded slowly, deep in thought. "Yea I think so. I just don't want her to be alone during all of this."

Emily shook her head again, "She isn't. She has Will and Henry and Reid and…and us." She said, "We're all there and she knows, she knows that we're here."

"Does she, though?"

Emily nodded, "I know that she does."

Reid had been doing his paperwork, minding his own business until he heard Emily and Morgan talking a couple of desks away from him. He instantly became curious so as casually as he could manage, he walked over. "What are you two talking about?"

Emily looked up at him and answered easily, "JJ." They had nothing to hide. If anything, they wanted his opinion.

Reid's eyes shifted up to her office where he saw her sitting there working peacefully, diligently. "Why? She looks fine."

"That's what we were talking about. Do you think she's okay? I mean, we all know that she can put up walls that can fool the best profilers. But you two are close and you're sure that she's okay?" Morgan asked Reid.

"You really want to know what I think?" Reid asked, setting his coffee cup down on Emily's desk.

Emily hesitated, wondering if saying yes would open a door that she wanted to stay closed. Sometimes Reid could go off into a ranting phase, but something told her that this was different so she simply nodded. "Yes."

Reid took in a breath, "I think that you two need to stop worrying. JJ is an independent, capable woman that doesn't need two of her closest friends talking about her problems over coffee in the morning like she's some kind of victim. I think what she needs from us is normal. Even though that's hard for you two, we need to be normal. If we act like nothing ever happened, so will she. And then, everything will fall back into place."

Morgan nodded, his eyebrows creased in thought. "Normal…"

Reid nodded briskly, "Now…I'm not a psychiatrist or anything but I do have a BA in psychology and I think that's the best thing we can do. Listen, she means the world to me and it is hard not to worry about her, but it's possible…and necessary."

Morgan sighed and sipped his coffee before replying, "It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into this." He muttered.

"Why wouldn't I? All that time she spent in the hospital and in those "dark places" as she called it…I couldn't stop worrying, but now she's back. That's the point here, she's back and she's okay. She _is_ okay." Reid looked from Morgan to Emily.

Emily nodded and closed her eyes, "I see what you're saying. You're probably right…we need to back off and be ourselves." She smiled and lightened the mood, "Alright then Morgan…go ahead, start inappropriately flirting with your co-worker again."

"Only as long as you shoot back sarcastic answers." Morgan chuckled.

Reid nodded, "And I'll be back doing my paperwork, subconsciously wondering how you two even managed to get into the BAU in the first place." He walked back over to his desk and sat down, starting his work again.

Normal…that was what she needed and that was what she was going to get.

* * *

**_Okay, he said…through the glass doors, up the catwalk and then look for Agent Hotchner's name plate. That's all I have to do. It's not a maze. I just have to find Agent Hotchner's office and then mine. Really, how hard could it be? _**

_JJ walked up the catwalk and started scanning the small plates next to the doors. Many of them were blank and she wondered if one of those was going to end up being her office. Hopefully she would find that out when she found Agent Hotchner. She kept walking…_

**_Agent Andersen…Agent Herman….Agent Teter…Agent Kelley…wait. What was that one? Did I read it wrong? Nope…perfectly clear: Agent Jareau. That's my office! Well, great I love the window…I can look over the whole BAU from here. So this means that Agent Hotchner's office has to be close. The next one is…Agent Jensick and then Agent Reese. Finally! There's Agent Hotchner's office…or should I call him Hotch? Well, I'm about to find out. _**

_JJ stared at the door for a few extra seconds to collect herself and make sure that she looked as professional as possible. She lifted her knuckles and knocked lightly on the door. It was so soft that she wasn't even sure that he heard it. _

**_Maybe I should knock again. Be confident this time. Knock hard, you have the right to be heard. _**

_Just as she lifted her hand to knock again, she heard a response on the other side of the door. It was a low, but smooth voice obviously belonging to a man that was older than her. For a moment she wondered how much older he was going to be, but then she realized that he had called for her to come in. _

_She pushed the door open confidently and walked straight up to the man at the desk. He had dark brown hair, almost black and deep brown eyes. The look in his eyes was intense, so much so that she was forced to consider whether he was angry at her or not. _

**_Maybe he's angry that I was so late meeting him. I can just tell him that I got lost on my way here. He'd believe that, right? I mean, he's supposed to be reasonable…he's a profiler for God's sake. This is not a good way to be starting out with my boss. Great…_**

_Unexpectedly as she approached he cracked a small smile and his eyes became less serious, "Agent Jareau. Good morning." He shook her hand quickly as if he was in a rush, "How are you liking your first day at the BAU?" _

_JJ smiled brightly at the man in front of her, "Everyone is very friendly. I've already met Agents Morgan, Reid, and Garcia and I have to say that this team is definitely…interesting, in a good way." She let out a small laugh. _

_Agent Hotchner nodded and then gestured to the seat across from his desk, "Sit." He commanded gently almost like an invitation. _

_As she sat, he also lowered himself into his own chair. _

_"Alright, so I assume you already found your office. It's only a couple doors down from this one if you came from that way…" Agent Hotchner pointed the way that she had walked on her way to find him. _

_"Yes sir, I found it." JJ nodded respectfully. _

_Agent Hotchner nodded, "Good, well, I would like you start your work right away. We will be going on a case tomorrow in Jacksonville, Florida and today I will be presenting it to the team, but usually the one doing the briefing in the conference room will be you because, starting after this case, you will be in charge of picking the cases that we take around the country." He explained. _

_She nodded along with what he was saying, "And what time would you like me to come into work every morning? The same time as today or maybe even earlier?" She asked curiously. Today, she had arrived at 8:00, but from the looks of it…he had been at work much longer than that. _

_"I would prefer you to be in before 7:00. Do you think you can do that?" Agent Hotchner asked, but it didn't really seem like it was much of a choice. _

_JJ answered easily, without thinking. "Yes, of course." _

_Agent Hotchner nodded, "Good…" He paused, "I think you're going to be an important asset to this team. We've never been able to control the media very well so having you with us is going to be extremely helpful, especially with press conferences."_

_"Thank you, Agent Hotchner."_

_"Hotch. Oh, that reminds me…I read in your file that you go by the nickname 'JJ' is that correct?" Hotch asked, raising his eyebrow. _

_"Yes sir, it is." JJ answered. _

_Hotch nodded, "Alright then JJ, now I would like you to go settle into your office and start unpacking some of the boxes that I had put in there of case files. By tonight I will expect you to be fully prepared for a case. Also, go home and pack a "go" bag which you will have here, ready so that when we need to travel you're already packed."_

_JJ nodded again, taking in all the new information at once. "Alright sir. I'll get started on all of that right away. It was very nice to meet you and thank you again for giving me this job opportunity." She reached out and shook his hand a second time. _

_"I hope it works out." Hotch gave her a nod of encouragement before returning to his paperwork without warning as if he had forgotten that she was even standing there at all. _

_JJ took that as a sign that he was ready for her to leave his office now, but before she could make it all the way out the door she heard Hotch's voice sound behind her. _

_"And JJ?" _

_JJ turned around to look at him only to find that his eyes were on her, "Yes sir?"_

_Hotch cracked a second small smile, which, from what JJ could tell, was a rare occurrence for him. "Officially: Welcome to the BAU."_

* * *

"Yes, yes. Of course we can help you. Once we get the team briefed and go over the case as a team, we will board the plane. We should be there by late tonight so we'll probably start working the case tomorrow." Hotch spoke politely into the phone, "Alright….yes….I'll see you then." He hung up.

This case was brutal. In a small town in Alaska, of all places, there was an unsub going around killing people and then skinning their bodies. Skinning had been done before, but the sight of a body _that_ dismembered is something no one can ever get used to. He closed the file and headed to the copy machine. As he passed JJ's office he was hit with a sudden dilemma. Was she ready for this? It was only her first day back and this case was…gruesome. He thought about telling her to sit this one out and stay in Quantico, but he knew that she wouldn't have that. She was too stubborn to stay inside her comfort-zone. If she wanted to do something, like work a case as terrible as this, she would handle it one way or another. So he decided to let her come and work the case, maybe it would even help to get a terrible one out of the way so that the rest would seem easier.

Hotch placed the files on the copy machine and printed them, one by one. It was a pain-staking task and he had thought about asking someone else, an intern, to do it…but the pictures were too graphic for that. He didn't want someone to see them if they didn't have to.

After what seemed like forever, Hotch had six case files, including the original, separated and ready for briefing. He walked down into the pit and set them on each of the agent's desks. "We have a case," he explained, "look it over. Briefing will be in the conference room in 10 minutes."

He walked up to Garcia's office, set a file down and repeated the explanation.

Last, he headed for JJ's office. He knocked lightly before pushing it open. This first thing he saw were the boxes scattered everywhere, just like before. Maybe things were back to normal, he thought…until his eyes rested on JJ. She was sitting at her desk with her face in her hands.

Hotch was immediately concerned. He set the files down and then with one hand he shut the door and with the other he slowly shut the blinds. "Hey, JJ…what's wrong?" He asked, walking around her desk so that he was next to her.

She lifted her head and there were no tears, which was sort of a good sign. "Nothing, I'm just tired of this paperwork…" Her mouth curved into a small smile.

Hotch nodded, "Fair enough." A half-smile reached his own lips for a couple seconds before he sat down in the chair across from her, "Are you okay, really?"

JJ paused, staring into his eyes. "No."

Hotch was a little bit surprised by her honesty. But if she wasn't really okay then why did she come back to the BAU? They were willing to give her a longer leave considering everything that she had gone through. If she wasn't ready for this, she could have more time. And he almost told her that before she spoke again.

She shook her head casually as if she had given him the most normal answer ever and then added, "But I will be."

Somehow Hotch found himself smiling again. He could never fathom how she could be, no how she was stronger than all of them. She pushed herself harder than any of them did and never gave up on something that she believed in. And he greatly admired that about her, it was a quality that he himself wished he had.

After a moment's silence he met her eyes again, "Well…if you need any help at all, just let me know. And if you ever need a break, or any time off, just ask for it. No matter how much you try to ignore them, you do have limits JJ."

JJ nodded and smiled again, this time more genuinely. "I know. I'll keep that in mind." She said, "So what did you need?"

Hotch had almost forgotten. He turned around and reached up on top of one of the cabinets, grabbing the file that he had brought in for her, "We have a case in Alaska. Look over it and we'll be briefing in the conference room in 10 minutes." He set the case file down on her desk, silently remembering the horror within the pages.

She was silent.

Hotch found himself concerned again, "Are you still okay? I know it's only your first week back…"

"Hotch, with all due respect, I don't need you to worry about me. I know you want to and that you will no matter what I say, but I'm _telling_ you: I'm going to be fine." JJ gave him a sweet smile and then took the case file that he had set out on her desk, "Now you better go set everything up if we're briefing in 10 minutes."

Hotch nodded, "You're right. I'll see you in there." He stood up and started to walk out, but before he did he felt his curiosity getting the best of him. He stopped in the doorway and turned around to look at her again, "JJ?"

"Yea Hotch?" She didn't look up from the file.

"Why _did_ you come back?" Hotch asked, creasing his eyebrows. "You knew we'd give you more time and from what you just told me, you knew that you needed more time, so why come back?"

Slowly, her eyes traveled up from the file to meet his. "Why did I come back?" She asked, tilting her head.

Hotch nodded.

A sigh escaped her mouth and she looked at the ground for a few seconds before looking up at him, "If you really have to ask that question then you weren't the man that I thought you were." Her expression was serious.

JJ watched him closely, until…there it was. She saw the realization light up in his chocolate brown eyes. It was about time he figured it out. She had come back because this job was who she was and she was lost without it. Helping people, _saving_ people…that was something she needed. Because even though there are bad cases, there are also plenty of good ones and those make the job worthwhile, they make it worth coming back for.

Quickly, she scanned the file.

It was a terrible case, inhuman in every way possible. But that kind of cruelty and brutality determined her. It made her want to find this unsub, to help those people, to save lives…and the responsibility of this case felt important.

But then again, weren't they all important? All of the cases? Each one was different and each one had a story. Each person, victim, unsub, family…they are all important because they leave a community forever altered, maybe shattered, but ultimately changed for the better. Their innocence is ripped away and then…they move on.

Moving on, that was a common concept for her lately. She'd moved on from Shane and everything that had happened, but the thing was…moving on wasn't the hard part. Anyone can walk away from something and move on with their life, but to deal with the pain and work through it…that was hard.

She'd dealt and moved on with it.

And now, she was letting go. Shane was in jail, Susie and Luke were safe, Will and Henry were safe, she still had a job at the BAU…everything was okay.

And she would take it one step at a time, thinking every moment was her last.

One more year, one more week, one more case, one more victim, one more loss, one more win…

One more day.

If there was anything that she had learned over the last couple of months, it could be summarized in three simple words.

Three meaningful, life-saving words:

Life goes on.

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**"I'm thankful for my years spent with this family, for everything we shared, every chance we had to grow. I'll take the best of them with me and lead by their example wherever I go. A friend told me to be honest with you, so here it goes. This isn't what I want, but I'll take the high road. Maybe it's because I look at everything as a lesson, or because I don't want to walk around angry, or maybe it's because I finally understand. There are things we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go."**

Jennifer "JJ" Jareau

* * *

**A/N: **I just want to thank everyone who read, favorited, followed and reviewed this story. It really means a lot to know that other people like it so thank you! And if, after you finish this, you find yourself in need of a new story to read I have a couple other Criminal Minds stories and I will also be posting another one soon. I told myself I had to finish this one before I posted a completely new one. Anyway, I really loved writing this story...and thank you so much for reading it! I love getting reviews and messages from people so feel free to do either. I can't wait to see what everyone thinks! Thanks again.


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